Random Thoughts
Reid and Pelosi are awesome! They’re better than Abbot and Costello!
What’s the difference between a genius and a super genius? A cape. Mine has a big letter ‘F’ for Frank.
You’d be surprised how many businesses’ dress codes specifically say you’re not allowed to wear a cape.
The explorer Magellan was one of the first people to wear tights and a cape. He couldn’t fly, but he could jump really high.
I wish all lemurs died out 47 million years ago.
Instructions on can of soup: “Heat and serve. Do not overcook.” Glad they threw that “Do not overcook” in there.
Cheney sure is one of the most powerful VPs ever. Even as an ex-VP, he has way more effect on policy than Biden.
So has anyone tried making those monster truck rallies go hybrid?
If Obama were in fact a reptilian humanoid intent on eating us, that would make his administration slightly scarier.
The 47 million year old fossil is a big deal because in monkey religion they find it insulting to say they’re related to lemurs.
Monkey religion involves lots of climbing in trees and screeching, BTW. They’re all very religious.
Wife just asked: “Is that Nickelback or Hannah Montana?” I do often get them confused. “Is that song by Metallica or the Monkees? Is that by Gwar or Raffi?”
Shouldn’t Obama have been named American Idol?
So is it now okay to explain what homosexuality is to the tweeners screaming for Adam Lambert?
Are Darwinists really trying to claim that Darth Vader evolved from a monkey, because I don’t see it.
(11 votes, average: 4.64 out of 5)
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May 21st, 2009 at 8:41 am
Firsty!
May 21st, 2009 at 8:50 am
I always thought the difference between genius and super genius was pointy ears and a tail. Oh wait, that’s the difference between suuuuuuuper genius and mud (and remember, mud spelled backwards is dumb).
May 21st, 2009 at 9:03 am
Frank J, Harvey and David Burge (Iowahawk): must reads to maintain a proper level of Vitamin-S (sanity).
May 21st, 2009 at 9:09 am
Gwar RULES.
May 21st, 2009 at 9:17 am
I prefer to think of Reid & Pelosi as Mutt & Jeff, the Skipper & Gilligan, Scooby & Shaggy, Olbermann & Maddow, Fred & Barney, and other dynamic duos that are the epitome of awesomeness. The new American idols. Speaking of new, Pelosi kind of looks like a gnu.
May 21st, 2009 at 10:03 am
If Obama was a reptilian overload, Chris Mathews would be willfully slathering himself in bar b q sauce, and trying to be first in line to get eaten.
May 21st, 2009 at 10:09 am
GWAR!!!!! As for the monster truck rallies the only way they’ll go Hybird is if the Hybrids are what they’re running over and crushing. Then add the Obama car to the rallies and it’ll be an awsome show of Monster truck destruction! Even better would be if a monster truck crushed Obama’s pimp limo and drove over Pelosi’s plane. Lord Cheney should have a cape and a monster truck.
May 21st, 2009 at 10:20 am
You don’t need a monster truck to crush an Obamacar. There’s a button on the dashboard to suck the car into a handy recyclable cube. That’s in case you’re in a parking lot and a shopping cart hits your Obamacar, totalling it. Or what if someone opens their non-Obamacar door too far and — BAM. Totalled. Either way, you’re going to need the Obamacar in an easier-to-carry format.
May 21st, 2009 at 10:59 am
LOL #6. Only a moonbat would build (or drive) a car made from recycled aluminum cans.
May 21st, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Or recycled plastic bottles, #7 and #6. I predict the age of “build your own automobile” is coming soon. Why not?
May 21st, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Will the disgrace that occupies the White House throw in the red nose and big floppy shoes for the abamaaah car?
May 21st, 2009 at 1:12 pm
To those who seem excited by the mentioning of Gwar. Gwar? Really??
May 21st, 2009 at 1:16 pm
I’m not concerned about what the monkeys think of a 47 million year old fossil. I’m upset because she’s the Speaker of the House!
May 21st, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Sorry to hear you’re just a genius, Frank. We super-geniuses refuse to wear capes.
May 21st, 2009 at 1:27 pm
**rimshot** for #11!
Too bad we can’t get actual humor like that on the likes of … what TV shows these days are actually funny? I can’t think of a reference to finish my sentence.
May 21st, 2009 at 2:29 pm
(From an astute but unnamed source:)
This could only happen with a little Italian kid…
“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.”
The priest asks, “Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?”
“Yes, Father, it is.”
“And who was the girl you were with?”
I can’t tell you, Father, I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”
“Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now.”
“Was it Tina Minetti?”
“I cannot say.”
“Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?”
“I’ll never tell.”
“Was it Nina Capelli?”
“I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.”
“Was it Cathy Piriano?”
“My lips are sealed.”
“Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?”
“Please, Father, I cannot tell you.”
The priest sighs in frustration. “You’re very tight lipped, Joey Pagano, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.”
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?”
“4 months vacation and five good leads.”
May 21st, 2009 at 3:40 pm
“Wife just asked: ‘Is that Nickelback or Hannah Montana?’ I do often get them confused. ‘Is that song by Metallica or the Monkees? Is that by Gwar or Raffi?’”
More importantly, the fact that Sarah asked the question in the first place indicates that sometimes you listen to songs by Hannah Montana. Umm, Frank? Please explain.
May 21st, 2009 at 4:49 pm
The difference between us and the Libs is that wearing capes and tights doesn’t make them look more gay but makes them feel less gay. Holding a gun has the opposite effect. Probably why “Don’t ask, don’t tell” excludes the uniform designers in our military. Aqua Man is excluded from the Superhero/Genius exceptions to these rules.
May 21st, 2009 at 9:11 pm
Frank, take the advise of Edna ‘E’ Mode, “NO CAPES!” They inevitably get caught in machinery gears or sucked into Jet Engines. Also Wile E Coyote thought he was Super-Genious, Bugs Bunny had to learn him different. I advise that you just be satified with awesome. Leave the Super-Genious title to Lex Luthor, Wile E Coyote,Syndrome and Barack O-bah-muhh.
May 21st, 2009 at 9:25 pm
I,m sure poo-flinging is a monkey religion ritual. Apostates and suspected apostates get their faces and genitals ripped off, thus discouraging cults. There once was a cult that escaped the true monkey religion. They were a tolerant foursome that were to busy singing to put anybody down. They get the funniest looks from everyone they meet,as they come walkin’ down the street
May 23rd, 2009 at 2:00 am
#13 – Al Dente FTW!