Heartbreaking
I was thrilled to read that a Russian cruise liner was selling “pirate cruises”, wherein tourists could rent weapons, go cruising off the Somali coast, wait to get attacked, and fire back with impunity.
However, I got suspicious that everyone who linked this story all linked to the same source at Ananova and nobody linked to a mainstream media source. Figured the libs would be frantic on this.
So I did some digging.
Ananova mentioned that they got the story from the Austrian business paper Wirtschaftsblatt.
Wirtschaftsblatt said they got the story from Golden Morgenstern & Partners.
And the story there is clearly marked “Warning – satire!”
So curb your enthusiasm if you’ve read about this story elsewhere. It ain’t real.
Meanwhile, for your reading pleasure, here’s the clumsy Google translation of the original piece:
Rich Russians hunting pirates on Somalia
WARNING – satire! 16,000 unarmed merchant ships each year to try healing through the Gulf of Aden to sail and not the Somali pirates to be upset. A Russian cruise business now turns the tables around and loads of Russians to hunt down pirates before the coast of Somalia, the most dangerous waterway in the world.
His business idea is simple: His cruise ship is the bait for the pirates. Try the real pirates, the seemingly harmless ship to enter and experience the wonders of blue its Africans. Instead defenseless sailors are trading them to the teeth armed Russian tourists compared. A macabre tourist fun.
A day on board the chartered Kreuzfahrschiffes costs $ 5,790. It is geschippert while until the real pirates are actually attacking. At least one pirate attack Kaperungsversuch with entrepreneurs from the travel is guaranteed.
The route goes from Djibouti to Mombasa in Kenya. The ship sails as close to the Somali coast with a speed of five nautical miles along. The tourists can taste and budget in accordance with arms monoplane.
A gun-type AK-47 can cruise by the Russian passengers on board for $ 9 a day for rent. 100 rounds of ammunition cost $ 12. A grenade launcher costs $ 175 a day. These included three grenades, which are included in the rent. The use of Reeling in the permanently installed machine guns should cost $ 475.
In order for the pirates but not yet on stupid ideas, rich Russians will receive an extra personal protection. On board the ship at any time hold a large number of former employees of Russian special commands a watchful eye on the guests. The Russian elite fighters will be mainly at night for security on the cruise ship care.
As the international naval associations tourist to this military operation to combat pirates react, however, is still unclear.
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(5 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
June 25th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
This is not heartbreaking at all. It is WONDERFULL!!!
Do you realize that we now have an opportunity to implement this plan ourselves. Since ussjimmycarter is probably a navy man, I volunteer him to be our captain. He will not have a choice. Frank will be in charge of recreation, and Harvey will be the first mate. I volunteer to run the armory/rental store, and I am sure there are plenty of other jobs you others can volunteer to run.
Now we just need a name for our cruise ship, and an actual cruise ship. We probably already have plenty of guns and ammo.
June 25th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
gotta love the idea. a fun free market approach to combating piracy!
June 25th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
[sob, sob]
My wife is gonna be really PO’d that I pawned everything I own and bought plane tickets to Russia for nothing.
June 25th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
I call cabin boy! Chris Elliot made it look like so much fun. “THESE PIPES ARE CLEEEEAAAANNN!”
June 25th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
Obama finally stood up to the Russians when they threatened his Somali relatives.
“These are not the Russians I thought I was appeasing.”
Come on, innominatus, everyone knows the proper way to enter Russia is covert insertion via attack submarine.
June 25th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
This indeed sounds like a wonderful free market idea. Kill pirates, take there plunder, drink to much, and play shuffel board.
June 25th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
Why waste such a good idea on satire?
June 26th, 2009 at 3:15 am
It goes to show you how far we have fallen under Obama that the idea of renting a boat to shoot at pirates is made off to be a RUSSIAN venture and not an AMERICAN one.
June 26th, 2009 at 10:44 am
http://www.somalicruises.com/
June 26th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Marvin,
You do realize you are at IMAO. We all have our own weapons.
June 26th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Can I run the concession stand?
Nothing but pickled eggs and beer from the tap.
June 26th, 2009 at 11:14 pm
Make sure you sail down the correct coast.
If you try that along the Alaskan coast, you’d face the wrath of Sarah’s Moose Gun.
June 27th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
I’m afraid I’d have to rent that Barrett .50 for a day just to try it out.