So here is the help. Place a paper bag over his/her head and paste a picture of Rahm on one side and Barney on the other. When things start getting sticky and your thinking “my gawd, this can’t be happening to me!” it will give you a moment to just pretend it’s not. Come on man you can do it. We’re pulling for you. You just got to have a little “hope”.

JUMP! JUMP!

Of course Rush killed a fly on air with his FOOT back in ’95, which is a lot harder to do, and nobody elected HIM president.

Please bend over and turn yourself into a Klein Bottle. This way it’ll be official: your head and your ass will be one and the same!

Yours truly,
Jimmy Klein
PS: Enjoy the cheese.

The question remains: will WE get through this?

And Kelli pretty much summed things up really well.

Not encouragement but a hard swift kick to the nuts!

Watch this video about Walpin’s sudden dismissal by Obama

Hillary hasn’t cut your nuts off yet and although you haven’t managed to kill all the babies you have made a very good start so buck up there little buddy!

Dear Leader, we know it’s soooo haaaaaaaard being you. First, it came out that the job known the world over as the hardest job in the world was “fast paced.” (Those 3 AM phone calls actually happen? No kidding!). But really, how could you be expected to respond otherwise, Mr. President? After a few years as a Community Organizer and a couple as a Junior Senator, yeah, we can see how your current job would be, well, hard.

Then there are the mea culpa tours one in your position must do. Saying sorry to other heads of state IS hard; it’s exhausting and more than a little rough on the self esteem, even for a confident guy like you! Yet it might not be AS hard if your string of apologies had rendered some good effects, such as the “Muslim world” (whatever that means) actually warming to us (they’re not; it turns out 10% more of them hate us than in 2008). Ah, well.

This brings us to another point: it is quite a lot of work, isn’t it, to bone up on history. I mean, you don’t have time to relearn 47 years worth of history! You’ve got car companies to take over and business leaders to bully, dammit. But, bone up, you must because it seems like maybe you didn’t learn much–history, that is–at Columbia, Harvard and wherever else you did your schoolin.’ If you had learned the history that most Americans did, from text books and not Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals, then–and I mean this in the most encouraging way possible–you would not show yourself to be so steeped in false revisionism and egotistical dreams as it appears you are. Knowing history tends to give one the long perspective on all sorts of things, not the least of which is America’s rather important role in this century and one’s own rather dispensable role in the world. Just a little history trivia for ya, in case you have a little time to sit back and think. Oh, which you don’t because you are really busy with your big job.

Well, Barack, I hope you feel encouraged. In case you don’t, then let me really get to the heart of what I want to say to you: really like how you dress and you have the sexiest pecs I’ve ever seen on a 47-year old man. And how you order a hot dog? Truly thoughtful and worthy of emulation.

“I never want you to get too old or too cool to come back and see me in this garden. You promise?”

And seriously think about a very long vacation.

My advice: stop doing the coke, give me my money back, stop hanging out with terroriest and crooks, grow up, get a clue, resign!