Robots are attacking people in Sweden. Don’t be alarmed, though — which is hard since robots are attacking people — as there are some basic techniques for surviving robot attacks.
TIPS FOR SURVIVING ROBOT ATTACKS
* Stop drop and roll. It’s highly illogical, so robots won’t know what to do.
* Play dead. This is a bad technique for avoiding one of the corpse-eating robots the military is working on, though.
* Remember that robots are more afraid of you than you are of them. Or at least they would be if they were capable of fear.
* Never accept candy from a strange robot. Vending machines may not count for this.
* Try talking in a language they can understand. Instead of saying, “Don’t kill me!” say, “Set HumanKill.Enabled to false.”
* See if you can get it distracted fighting ninjas or pirates. It should lose.
The ultimate tip, though, is to just run up some stairs. They’re not very good at those.