Isolationist
Maybe with all that’s going on, it’s time to become isolationists. Instead of engaging with the crazy world, we just bunker down in America and launch missiles at everything we think we see moving. Then people will leave us alone and stop moving, and we’ll be safe.
It’s the Ron Paul plan and it’s worth considering.
(25 votes, average: 4.68 out of 5)
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July 2nd, 2009 at 2:24 pm
We could stop being the big brother to the world and instead be like the nosy neighbor to the world. We would peek through the blinds at them, show up unannounced with pies so we can snoop around their houses and check the medicine cabinets while we’re “using the bathroom”
Would we have to change our name too?
July 2nd, 2009 at 2:25 pm
Except the Ron Paul plan doesn’t have the missiles.
July 2nd, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Hooray for nuclear winter!
July 2nd, 2009 at 2:37 pm
I don’t want to become isolationist while New Jersey is still part of the Union. That would be like in the movies where they barricade all the doors and windows but one of the zombies is actually inside the house.
July 2nd, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Come on! There are plenty of non-zombie, pro-dinosaurs with lasers conservatives left in New Jersey! Okay, maybe not plenty, but some. Okay, a few. Okay, maybe just me and my girlfriend.
Wait….did you hear something at the front door?
MWAAAAAAArrrrrrgggH!
*THud*
*squishy brain eating noises*
….
July 2nd, 2009 at 2:50 pm
Oh no! Frank’s turning into a Ron Paul fan? What’s the world coming to! Well, I suppose there’s no hope left, then…
RON PAUL RON PAUL RON PAUL RON PAUL
July 2nd, 2009 at 2:56 pm
Dammit! Now someone has to remove Ron Paul from the spam filter!
July 2nd, 2009 at 3:02 pm
I am a Ronulan too!
July 2nd, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Anyone else remember that one blanker who used to post “RON PAUL” in just about every thread at the “old” IMAO? Good times. I miss that place…
July 2nd, 2009 at 3:04 pm
I am a Ronulan too!
July 2nd, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Now if Frank were only funny!
July 2nd, 2009 at 3:08 pm
I thought the Ron Paul Plan involved flooding the world with comment spam and making us laugh at them until we died of internal injuries. I also remember that there was something from his campaign about the gold standard. Or silver. Or platinum. It was definitely a precious metal. I don’t remember so well because of the internal injuries.
Anyway, I support the new Frank JR Paul plan. My favorite slogan in video games is, “If it moves, kill it. If it doesn’t move, it’s target practice”.
July 2nd, 2009 at 3:14 pm
It is fun having the Ron Paul folks around. Their like our version of the Kos Kids.
When we make fun of the Kos Kids, they scream, yell, spit, convulse, and then go away. The Ronulans, we see all that, plus we get to watch them during the 5 minutes a day they don’t seem like raving lunatics. Gives us a fresh perspective on the mentally unstable.
July 2nd, 2009 at 3:36 pm
This plays well with the original Nuke the Moon strategy (which is in essence the Fonz Principle). You’ll only have to do it a couple of times at most. But for liability purposes, don’t forget the signs:
NO trespassing!
Violators will be shot.
Survivors will be shot again.
July 2nd, 2009 at 3:44 pm
Or California, which is like the dumb valley girl who lets in the zombies just because the smart zombie leader can knock and speak coherent English.
Come to think of it I don’t know any examples of a film where that happens.
July 2nd, 2009 at 3:57 pm
we just bunker down in America and launch missiles at everything we think we see moving.
Can we strap the commie, moonbat, hippie, environazi, socialist, liberals to the missiles before we launch them?
July 2nd, 2009 at 4:08 pm
IH8Socialist: we know that hippies don’t bathe… that would also make them biological weapons… and I approve!
July 2nd, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Basil: “plus we get to watch them during the 5 minutes a day they don’t seem like raving lunatics. Gives us a fresh perspective on the mentally unstable.”
I resent the implication that they bear any resemblance to me whatsoever. It’s not my fault straight jackets only come in standard clorox white.
July 2nd, 2009 at 4:21 pm
We need a plan from you, Frank to come up with a newer looking nation first! I think it involves dusting off a few dozen of our rusty nukes and launching them at the fault in CA and at strategic points from NY to FL. Not meant to kill anyone…plenty of notice to round everyone up…we are just going to “disconnect” the current east coast and west coasts from the New America!
July 2nd, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Raving Lunatic: I stand corrected. My apologies. I did not mean to insult the mentally unstable by comparing Kos Kids or Ronulans to them.
July 2nd, 2009 at 4:35 pm
So, this plan? Does it include building an unscalable wall along our southern border? If so, I’m for it.
July 2nd, 2009 at 6:53 pm
I guess this is all I can add. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxrWz9XVvls
July 2nd, 2009 at 7:00 pm
Could we infiltrate these t rex missile launchers into the kos kids playground just as a test and a form of mild amusement.
July 2nd, 2009 at 7:27 pm
#21 our southern border can easily be sealed— Open a 24 hour rile range all along the border, then use Frank’s great idea — fire at anything that moves.
July 2nd, 2009 at 8:00 pm
As long as California is treated just like every other foreign country, I’m all for it. Begin firing the missiles.
July 2nd, 2009 at 8:08 pm
FrankJ:
Sounds good FrankJ. How about you isolate yourself first. Build a bunker and move in. We will leave you all alone, while we will all then work on isolating ourselves.
Don’t worry, we promise will let you know if anything happens outside of your little cocoon that you need to worry about. Like the imposition of sharia law in the U.S. Or a new Chuck Norris movie.
Peace,
Monkey Faced Liberal
July 2nd, 2009 at 8:13 pm
WOW! So an IMAO post containing the words “Ron” and “Paul” still draws trolls. How ’bout it.
July 2nd, 2009 at 9:24 pm
What else are the ronulans gonna do with all their spare time?
July 2nd, 2009 at 11:09 pm
Isolationism worked sooooooo well before the 1st and 2nd World Wars, right. Kept us out of war, kept us from being attacked, kept us safe? Unless someone comes up with a workable Star Wars Shield (and I am all for it) we are going to be the new dweb on the block and all the bullies are going to take turns beating us up, thanks to O’bama the Wonder-Chicken.
Get used to it. The only good thing is that they WILL beat up the Libs first. They are the weakest link.
July 2nd, 2009 at 11:18 pm
The USA could survive longer without the rest of the world than the rest of the world could survive without the USA.
Let’s start by taking a three-day-weekend from the rest of the world.
No trade, no business, no meetings, no returned phonecalls for 3 days.
The world would freak out and beg us never to do that again!
July 3rd, 2009 at 1:00 am
“Hey!
Hugo, Fidel ,
and the rest of you commie thieves-
Get.
Off.
My.
Lawn.”
July 3rd, 2009 at 7:18 pm
4 of 7
I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
July 3rd, 2009 at 8:16 pm
Ron Paul? What a sack of digestive byproducts, I can smell him from here.
July 3rd, 2009 at 9:24 pm
July 7th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
One more anti-Ron Paul blurb like that and I’m going to stop posting comments here.
I’m warning you…