WASHINGTON (AP) – President Barack Obama announced that he would buy two TV sets from a 78-year-old Iowa woman who is selling them because she “just got tired of watching him on every channel”.
Deloris Nissen, a retired nurses’ aide, said she could live with seeing Obama come on television to make serious announcements, but he seems to be on all the time. When the president does appear on a channel she happens to be watching, Nissen said, she quickly changes channels.
“I have the remote real handy,” Nissen said. “I have the batteries. I’m ready for him.”
Although pleased at the chance to stimulate the economy by buying the televisions, President Obama expressed confusion at Nissen’s stated reason for selling.
“How could anyone be tired of seeing me on TV?” said Obama, “I know I’m not. I can’t get enough of me. In fact, right now, I’m headed off to the Mirror Room so that I can see me everywhere I look. By the way, can you hook that camera into that monitor over there? I want to see me doing this interview.”
Obama said the televisions are exactly what he needs to complete the “Walk of Me”, his name for the series of TV’s that stretches from one end of the White House to the other.
“My goal is to eventually be able to see my glorious visage beaming from a screen no matter where I am,” said the President. “Right now, I could really use one outside the window of the Oval Office. Every once in a while I have to do a photo-op where I’m gazing thoughtfully out the window, and those few minutes when I can’t see a clip of me running on CNN or MSNBC are pure agony. It’s moments like those that make me wonder why I ever took this job.”
“I also still need one in the Bill Clinton Memorial Intern Closet,” Obama added, “just in case I ever stop feeling too skeeved out to actually go in there.”