The Bros Will Be Tazed

Posted by Frank J. on July 31, 2009 at 2:01 pm

Dude! Taze three people at once! Me want!

I know, you’re saying, “When would you want to taze three people at once?”

Ever been to a college campus? I went to college (I’m very smart), and every day I was like, “I wish I could taze multiple people at once.” Nothing like seeing hippies lying on the ground, involuntarily convulsing. Of course, they do that a lot themselves with the ODing.

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35 Responses to “The Bros Will Be Tazed”

  1. Chuck says:

    Just so you know, my frat banned tazing.

  2. Silhouette says:

    I’m looking for an assault tazer that can taze 500-800 hippies per minute.

  3. Attila the SHUN says:

    Yeah ….like a TAZ net…… cannon style device that fires a net attached to a lead…… bzzzzzzzzztttt… no more “civil disturbance” problem…… BRB.. gotta run to the patent web site…….note to self …..attach it to dinosaur…..

  4. Veeshir says:

    You can also taze one guy three times.

    That’s cool, if you’re gonna taze a bro, you might as well over-taze the bro.

  5. Ed Flinn says:

    I agree with Veeshir: you know sometimes it’ll take a jolt or two just to get a tazee’s attention!

  6. IH8Socialist says:

    I want to be able to taze more than three people at once. You could have one of these three people tazers in each hand and be able to taze six people but thats still not good enough.

  7. DamnCat says:

    When would you want to taze three people at once?

    Thanksgiving with the in-laws.

  8. Rubeus says:

    Are these effective against zombies?

  9. Plentyobailouts says:

    What fun, you could zap that one 3 times with “take” “that” “crakah”

  10. ussjimmycarter says:

    Both Hands! 6 Bros. At Once!!! Excellent!!!

  11. zzyzx says:

    “Don’t taze me bro, AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!” Yeah….I like the sound of it.

  12. ChrisA says:

    I bet news of this is harshing a plethora of mellows right now! Sweet!

  13. IH8Socialist says:

    I need an Obot Tazer that can taze all Obots any place, anytime.

  14. Plentyobailouts says:

    As the classless disgrace is golfing, The teleprompter signals the secret service to use the new tasers on his partners, and instructs the classless disgrace to acknowledge “hole in one crackers”.

  15. IH8Socialist says:

    I’ve got a great new plan it’s called “Tazers for Obama Voters” everyone who didn’t vote for Obama gets a Tazer, then they go forth and taze everyone who voted for Obozo the Clown President.

  16. NotSoFunnyFrank says:

    Frank thinks he is smart. Now if he only was funny. He bans people who suggest he is not funny. That is the funniest part about this blog. I had to back out his tweak to place this comment. Dumb. You commentators here should consider looking elsewhere. Frank is a child with the attention span of the kool aid addicted.

    [Are you sure you're banned and not just too stupid to enter comments? -Ed.]

  17. Live Free Or Die says:

    If they outlaw tazers, then only outlaws will have tazers. :(

  18. Wolfman George says:

    I think I’m in love with the Noise Bot T-shirt model!

    What was that? Did someone say something about tasers?

  19. Attila the SHUN says:

    #16…. And THAT SUH. forces me to SHUN you! I SHUN you SUH! Consider yourself Shunned! Let this be a Lesson to you …… I dont want to do it but your behavior leaves me no other choices. No be contrite and I may be merciful and not unless the mongrel shuns to lay waste on you and yours.

    A Day without SHUN is like a day without SHUNSHINE!

    I officially SHUN thee Mister NotSoFunnyFrank….. now off wth you before you end up getting smited!

  20. MarkoMancuso says:

    Let me give it a try…

    Frank J., you are not funny. I find your unfunnyness offensive.

    Thank you.

  21. MikeLL says:

    Marko,

    Don’t press your luck. You’ve already been shunned. Next step: Banned.

  22. Attila the Shun says:

    AND YOU Meester Mancuso….. do you not still feel the sting from your last SHUN? How soon they forget. You just watch your step….. I got my eye on you….I was doing just fine until #16 put me in a shunning mood, do not evoke the wrath of the SHUN.

  23. Veeshir says:

    Frank is a child with the attention span of the kool aid addicted.

    The funny part about that? I said the exact same thing to a friend of mine the other day.
    But I meant it as a reason to come here and comment.

    It’s funny how two people can say the exact same thing about the exact same person and mean exactly the opposite.

  24. Crusty says:

    That’s so those racist Cambridge police can taze a black, a hispanic and a homosexual at the same time with a single shot.

  25. MikeLL says:

    I wonder what would happen if you tazed a monkey. Would it fry? Burnt monkey hair can’t smell good.

  26. Tobias Magan says:

    #16 – “I had to back out his tweak to place this comment.” I’m not sure what that means, but all the images that come to mind are disturbing.

  27. midwestconservative says:

    non lethal weapons are for sissies.

  28. ussjimmycarter says:

    Uh? What the hell is a tweak? Did I miss something else that’s like totally gay?

  29. J.M. Heinrichs says:

    1. AA-12 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4ebtj1jR7c
    2. http://www.taser.com/products/law/Pages/TASERXREP.aspx
    3. Mix and Practice.

    Cheers

  30. MikeLL says:

    LOL. Tweak. Twit. It’s all the same I guess.

  31. Pit Nicker says:

    @16: “I had to back out his tweak…”

    Is that, like, prison lingo?

  32. Veeshir says:

    You really don’t want to know what that is so stop reading now,
    Richard Gere had to back out a tweak too.

    It’s a shame what he did to FrnakJ’s hamster.

  33. Leon says:

    People who need to be tazed usually live in clusters…..

  34. Son of Bob says:

    I wish Sgt. Crowley had had one of those at the “beer summit.”

  35. marvin says:

    Google, Taser Shockwave. I see your tasering 3 people, and raise you 300.

    Also, you can already TASER someone multiple times with a regular Taser. Once the probes are in, you got to just keep pulling the trigger.

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