http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,532241,00.html

Apparently the FBI is investigating. The SHOULD be investigating! But the topic of the investigation should not be the source of these brilliant pranks…nay, it should be how anybody could be so freaking stupid as to believe them! I hope these people (the “victims”) get charged for all of the thousands of dollars of damage they’re causing! If somebody called you claiming to be from the dick cheney assassination squad, and told you to throw dog poo at pancy nelosi, and you did it, you can be damn sure they’d throw you in jail, instead of running off searching for the “prankster”.

Sheesh! Now they’re going to start putting warning labels on hotel toilets “Warning! Do not smash plate glass window with top of toilet. There are no spiders, you’re not going to die. Get you ass back in bed.”

The sad part is there was some stupid jackass that ate one of those packets and got sick and sued the company. If someone is stupid enough to eat it then they deserve to get sick.

When I see Silica Gel, I don’t think “Mmmm.. a tasty toppping.” I think “do not eat”. Do rational people actually think otherwise??

I like it, great idea.

What we need to do first, however, is get rid of ALL the lawyers and other assorted bleeding hearts. That way we can laugh at the stupid people without being sued or legislated out of it.

#18, the only problem with your warning label is that it’s too complicated for those that need it to understand it. Howzabout instead: “Democrats hate American Idol” — that’ll keep the mass electorate for voting for them.

I guess this is sort of where STD’s come in. (just go with it). If you head on over to the local brothel without a pocket full of trojans, “stupid” is probably going to hurt! (or at least itch one whole hell of a lot). We need other kinds of _TD’s too! Like “Can’t-figure-out-how-to-use-the-gas-pump Transmitted Disease” Not being able to figure out how to fuel your car in a timely and efficient manner, should cause a slow painful death, not just a delay to the 20 people behind you in line.

Also, for my NJ friends, we need to band together and create a “too-stupid-to-get-an-EZ-Pass Transmitted Disease”. I can’t understand for the life of me why some people sit in the same lines day after day, week after week, year after year so they can pay their tolls with quarters!!!!! Besides, tolls are like $3 now! And who has 24 quarters in their car? (12 there and 12 back) There can’t be that many tin-foil hatters out there that think the little white square with the velcro/suction cups is going to melt their brains…

Maybe I need one of these for the commute:

http://mimg.sulekha.com/english/death-race/Stills/death-race17.jpg

(Don’t want the above story to be entirely OT)

President Barack H. Obama was playing a photogenic croquet game with George Soros and some lucky winners of a middle school essay contest, out on the White House Lawn.
“Excuse me, I’ve got to go use the little President’s room,” the President announced. “Be back in a bit.”
Rahm Emanuel followed behind. “Mr. President, don’t–”
“Don’t ‘don’t’ me, I won the election,” President Barack H. Obama snapped, reaching for the door handle.
The door handle wasn’t there. The President hit his head on a window mullion.
“That’s a window, Mr. President,” Rahm sighed. “It’s always been a window. The door’s over there.”
“Thank you, Rahm,” the President said, wincing. He stumbled through the door and made his way towards the bathroom.
Shutting the door behind him, Barack H. Obama let loose with the accumulated results of 11 glasses of iced tea. A minute later he stepped out.
“That was the linen closet, Mr. President,” Rahm groaned.
“What, you mean…”
Rahm peeked into the door. “Yes, you ruined 3,000 official White House cloth napkins. The bathroom is next door.”
“Well, I don’t need to go anymore,” the President snuffed, nose in the air. He headed back out to the small party on the lawn.
“You want to wash your hands, sir?” Rahm suggested.
“I like to be mindful of the environment and not use too much water,” Barack H. Obama declared.
“Yes, yes, but remember this kids’ essay contest was about the health care situation, not the environment,” Rahm reminded.
“Aw, fine, I guess I can wash my hands.” The President ducked into a utility room and washed up.

Barack H. Obama came back out of the White House, his attention held fast by the bucket he had picked up from the utility room. He had never seen one quite the same shape as this before; this was a double bucket that could be used to keep clean and dirty water separated. “Hey Rahm, check out this neat bucket,” enthused the President.
“Yes, I’ve seen one like it before,” Rahm said fondly.
“If you hold it up to the sun you can see how translucent it is,” Barack H. Obama remarked, pulling Rahm in close to see. “Oops.” His hand slipped.

The children giggled as they saw President Obama and Rahm Emanuel falling over themselves trying to get the double bucket off of their heads. They took out their cellphones and snapped pictures of the spectacle. What they didn’t notice was George Soros behind them.
“Yes, I’m sure zis is amusing to all of you, but zis embarrazzment is not to be for public consumption,” George Soros hissed, screwing a suppressor onto a handgun he had taken from his coat. He shot the four middle schoolers in the backs of their heads, motioning Obama’s Secret Service guards to clean up the mess.
George Soros took each of the kids’ cellphones and deleted their pictures, then took another swig of iced tea. All just another day in the life.

Wow, that is the smartest thing I’ve read in quite a while.

And the essay brings teh funny.

Except that thing about monkeys. That was true.

(How the hell do you spell exept. Except? Ec . .. whatever)

[Thanks, but I must correct you about something. Frank J: genius. Harvey: genius. Rest of the IMAO group: geniuses. Basil: know-it-all. There's a difference. - B]

[Oh, and you promised not to bring up the monkey again. - B]

[Yeah, a warning label or something, huh? - B]

I have no idea what that means. I think “B” is mocking me. As usual.

[No, really. There's an exclamation point in the URL field (labeled "Website"). There are three fields: Name, Email, Website. Check it out. Remove the exclamation point, and thing's will go back to like they were. Except for the mocking. That continues. - B]

[C'mon. Lighten up. That's not why we hate you. - B]