What Happened To Those Iranian Ballots?
In an election where Ahmadinejad got 63% of the vote, the Iranians recounted only 10% of the ballots. What about the rest of the ballots?
I speculate thusly:
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* They’re in the front seat of Ahmadinjad’s car so that the little midget can see over the steering wheel.
* Once Iran is finished hanging all the protesters, they’ll be retrieved from under the wobbly leg of the gallows and re-counted.
* Reserved for training the Ayatollah’s new puppy, “Puddles”.
* Unable to recount because Office Depot shorted their order by a dozen cases of White Out.
* Due to a typo, most Iranian provinces spent the last week counting boxes of bullets.
* Accidentally invalidated when all their corners were cut off so they could be used as props for the TV series “Battlestar Iranica”.
* Covertly shipped into Iraq for use by insurgents in “Improvised Papercut Devices”.
* A friendly paper-airplane-making contest at the vote-counting center got a little out of hand.
* Testing the theory that 25 million sheets of paper, if laid end to end, would stretch all the way around the planet.
* Assembling them into the world’s largest “KICK ME” sign. Still trying to figure out how to tape it to Israel’s back.
Any other ideas?
(15 votes, average: 4.93 out of 5)
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July 2nd, 2009 at 8:24 am
Used to construct a paper mache’ gallows, in case they need to ‘hang Chad’.
July 2nd, 2009 at 8:25 am
Turned into confetti for the victory parade
July 2nd, 2009 at 8:29 am
Damaged beyond legibility in a fallafel fire
July 2nd, 2009 at 8:32 am
Obama took them, claiming he needed the paper to print more money on.
July 2nd, 2009 at 8:34 am
Ahmadinejad used them up playing Pictionary.
July 2nd, 2009 at 8:47 am
Still trying to white-out Al Franken and replace with Ahmadinejad.
July 2nd, 2009 at 9:12 am
They gave them to Obama, who is using them to snort crack cocaine. Viva Escobar.
July 2nd, 2009 at 9:28 am
The ballots are in the White House. They are to be used as note cards in case Obama’s teleprompter breaks.
July 2nd, 2009 at 9:39 am
The deposed leader of hounduras called and asked to borrow them.
July 2nd, 2009 at 9:40 am
They had to give them back to George Soros or pay a late fee.
July 2nd, 2009 at 9:50 am
They are at the tehran airport with a sign: Don’t squeeze the Charmin.
July 2nd, 2009 at 9:51 am
All of a sudden alliamisanutjobs girlfriend is larger up top.
July 2nd, 2009 at 10:05 am
They ar sealed in a mayonnaise jar, sitting on the front porch of Funk & Wagnall’s since noon election day. NO ONE knows the contents of those ballots. But the mullahs, in their mystical and borderline devine manner, were able to read the votes without opening them!
July 2nd, 2009 at 10:27 am
Iranian Ballots? What Iranian Ballots? or Ballots we don’t need no stinking ballots!
July 2nd, 2009 at 11:53 am
The U.S.-backed Czar of ACORN in IRAN is linking up the ballots with those who cast them, going door-to-door, confiscating their sticks and stones, and extending the traitor list. The grand annihilation of freedom and modicum of democracy will be held up to the world as an example of U.S. weakness. Pres-ent O-zone will apologize yet again.
(Shakes head.)
July 2nd, 2009 at 12:37 pm
They turned up in Minnesota and were used as ballot in the Senate race.
July 2nd, 2009 at 2:35 pm
They’re being used as the most uncomfortable toilet paper ever
July 2nd, 2009 at 3:03 pm
“corners were cut off…Battlestar Iranica” Ha! well done.
July 2nd, 2009 at 5:07 pm
They’re being used to prop up the government. Oh, wait. That’s not funny, that’s true. my bad. : (
July 2nd, 2009 at 7:33 pm
Princess Pelosi used all the other ballots [votes for the oposition] to write that 1900 page climate change bill
July 3rd, 2009 at 1:32 pm
midwestconservitive says: Princess Pelosi used ……
Don’t you mean the wicked witch of the west.