When Galaxies Collide
…we are doomed!
Did you know the Andromeda Galaxy is predicted to collide with our galaxy in 2.5 billion years? No one told me this! That has to be disastrous! All the stars and other bodies will be thrown out of their regular obits! What the hell are we going to do?
I always thought we had 5 billion years to get off this planet before our sun dies. That hardly seems worthy of rushing. But instead we have 2.5 billions years to get out of this galaxy. Intergalactic travel? How can we manage that? And most of the nearest galaxies are satellites of the Milky Way or Andromeda. I assume they’re not safe either. We need a plan to get millions of light years away from here. And we need one yesterday.
Where the hell is the space program?!
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(21 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)
July 28th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
No worries. Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid are introducing legislation banning the Andromeda Galaxy from coming any nearer to the Milky Way. Obama says that any further encroachement by the Andromeda Galaxy is unacceptable and that he simply won’t allow it.
July 28th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
Where the hell is the space program?!
Wasting ir’s money on “climate change”
July 28th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
the Andromeda Galaxy is predicted to collide with our galaxy in 2.5 billion years…
OH CRAP!!!!!!!! Wait Al Gore says Globull Warming will kill us in 10,000 years so I guess it’s all good then.
July 28th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Put up a sign that declares the Milky Way an “Andromeda-Free Zone.” Problem solved.
July 28th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Is there some way we can destroy our economy to prevent this?
July 28th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
It’s Bush’s fault for getting us stuck in this quagmire of a galaxy.
July 28th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Are we supposed to start feeling the first effects in 2.5 billion years? Or is it 2.5 billion years until total annihilation? After we work through this global warming thing, that will be the next big issue, I’m sure.
It’s probably worse than that. Since it takes years for light from the Andromeda Galaxy to reach us, it’s already a LOT closer than when we last checked.
July 28th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
Quick everybody! turn toward Andromeda and blow!!!
July 28th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
Maybe if we change the name of the Milky Way to the Chuck Norris Way, Andromeda will change course. It will if it knows what’s good for it.
That’s the Chuck Norris Way.
BTW, the Evony chick is REEALLY distracting.
July 28th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
It’s not like they are slid objects so more like two “handfulls” of gravel thrown at each other in slow motion. Good article and visuals at http://www.galaxydynamics.org/tflops.html
July 28th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
We certainly should be able to build a Stargate within 2.5 billion years. Heck, with 2.5 billion years we should be able to evolve into beings that can fold time and space. That is, IF evolution is true. Remember, if you believe it, you can achieve it. :~)
July 28th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
No Worrys! In 2.5 million years, when Andromeda nears us, Fred Thompson will glare in its general direction and It will quickly change course.
July 28th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
Whoops, I mean’t2.5 Billion years. It matters not, for entities like Fred Thompson, time is meaningless.
July 28th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
Al Gore says this will happen in ten years if we don’t do something soon.
July 28th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Fred will just plunder and destroy the Andromeda Galaxy before it destroys the Milky Way.
July 28th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
Galaxies? I’m more concerned with the black hole in the White House.
July 28th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Yeah, two handfuls for gravel with supermassive black holes at their centers! Game Over, Man!
July 28th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
Corona it’s more like a BUTT hole than a black hole in the White House.
July 28th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
…and you know who’s fault it is? The US. Expect Clinton and Obama to apologize shortly.
July 28th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Ahh, but will it collide faster than a bowling ball from the same distance?
July 28th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
Don’t worry, Space Jesus will save us!
July 28th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
What, you guys are still worried about such trivial things as our sun turning dim or two galaxies smashing into each other?
Here I am, hiding under a table, afraid to do anything as it will contribute to the heat death of the universe.
C’mon, there are bigger problems than this, man! And stargates won’t solve this one!
July 28th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
No doubt the leftists are hopping in place and shrieking, “BUUUUUUUSSSSSSSHHHHHH!!!!!”
July 28th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
I’m not sure how we will stop the calamity, but I can take a good guess who is going to get stuck with paying the bill for it!
Oh, and Frank. The reason you didn’t know about it is because Bush suppressed the information!
July 28th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
Don’t worry. I heard the U.N. sanctioned the Andromeda galaxy. There’s no way it will continue on its current course now.
July 28th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
Our space program needs to mine asteroids for minerals and heavy metals then toss the leftovers at the Andromeda galaxy, after 2.5 billion years of this it should have pulverized Andromeda enough to soften the impact on the milky way.
July 28th, 2009 at 8:29 pm
Rubeus,
You wanna see real action. John Boehner might just write one of his letters, forcefully stating that he strongly disapproves.
And, as usual, the democrats will read it and laugh.
July 28th, 2009 at 9:29 pm
I got it. We find the Andromeda Galaxy’s exhaust port, fire a proton torpedo into it, get a bunch of teddy bears to finish it off, no sweat.
July 28th, 2009 at 10:02 pm
I propose a tax on everything to get geared up for this.
Actually, if Andromeda gets close enough, it won’t be so hard to travel to another galaxy, so no problemo.
July 28th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
Basil says “Put up a sign that declares the Milky Way an “Andromeda-Free Zone.” Problem solved.”
hey it worked for Vancouver. We have signs that say Vancouver is a Nuclear weapons free zone – and so far nobody blew us up.
It’s nice how people respect signs.
July 28th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
I’m surprised at Andromeda.
Most objects in the universe are rushing away from us at fantastic speed.
And really, who can blame them.
July 28th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
I’m surprised at Andromeda.
Most objects in the universe are rushing away from us at fantastic speed.
And really, who can blame them.
July 28th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
Are there aliens in the Andromeda Galaxy right now blogging about this too?
July 28th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
When Galaxies collide, it’s time to buy a Chevy.
July 29th, 2009 at 12:22 am
I plan to have a ringside seat for the show. Ole!
July 29th, 2009 at 12:51 am
Obviously this is man’s fault. Maybe Al Gore can sell “avoid the collision” indulgences.
July 29th, 2009 at 1:06 am
I find it hard to believe that a crappy TV show starring Kevin Sorbo actually has the ability to destroy the entire galaxy. But then again, I find it hard to believe that one person could run a country into the ground so quickly.
July 29th, 2009 at 7:05 am
I have the answer! One word! TAXES! We must pay more TAXES to fend off this deadly scourge now! Please vote for only candidates that want your TAXES higher so that we can fight this problem and win! TAXES must be raised now or we will not be able to fend off this approaching doom! Vote for TAXES in your next election! Vote democRAT!
July 29th, 2009 at 8:02 am
Don’t worry, I’m sure its imminent that Obama will appoint a “Galaxy Czar.” He/She will surely solve the problem…
July 29th, 2009 at 8:37 am
Wow! You never hear of the problems in a neighborhood until after you sign the loan papers!
July 29th, 2009 at 11:54 am
It looks like a great time for me to start selling Galaxy Offsets, and start a cap and trade system with Galaxy Credits. Even if I make a couple hundred dollars a year, I’ll be pretty well off in 2.5 billion years.
July 29th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
Andromeda Galaxy must be turned gay! This will repel our Galaxy which is very NOT GaY! I propose we teach Andromeda to Twitter which will turn it Gay in 1 hour and problem is solved! I very smart!
July 29th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
No worries! Captain Kirk is actually in the future and he will take care of it for us!!