Internet Takeover
There’s a bill out there that could let Obama take over the internet in case of a cybersecurity emergency. For Obama, that probably means something like someone said something bad about him on the internet. Don’t worry, though: IMAO has a contingency plan. If you get us your address, we’ll mail to you postcards of us making fun of stuff in case the internet is shutdown.
Let’s just hope that an emergency won’t cause a government takeover of the mail.
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(21 votes, average: 4.95 out of 5)
August 31st, 2009 at 10:50 am
“We control the vertical, we control the horizontal…”
August 31st, 2009 at 11:17 am
He can take my internets when he pries the mouse from my cold dead hand.
August 31st, 2009 at 11:26 am
One day, I’ll come to IMAO only to find that the entire site has been replaced with an audio file of Obama saying, “I see you are practiced in worshiping things that fly. Good.”
And, Frank, might I suggest carrier pigeons instead of mail?
August 31st, 2009 at 11:41 am
I suppose I would be willing to take off my tinfoil hat in order to receive Frank’s random thoughts.
August 31st, 2009 at 11:43 am
We should all take up “old Morse code”. In the movies the trope is that everyone has to fall back to Morse code to communicate.
And #2 marvin: He can take my internets when he can pry my
mousegun from my cold, dead hand.FTFY.
August 31st, 2009 at 11:56 am
Why do I get the feeling that at some point all those that oppose The One may be communicating by tapping stones against the wall in some sort of code?
August 31st, 2009 at 11:59 am
I think he wants to take over the internet just to get access to free porn.
August 31st, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Frank-
1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington DC
August 31st, 2009 at 12:30 pm
big bro Obama is watching
August 31st, 2009 at 1:02 pm
I suppose he would consider losing polls in the next presidential election sufficient enough to shut all public communication down. The movie Red Dawn got it all wrong, as awesome as it is. Maybe Ayers could set off a few bombs for him…..
August 31st, 2009 at 1:20 pm
I don’t mind the IMAO By Mail option. I wonder how the ads would work? Will we still be able to donate through PayPal? How will we find your CafePress store? And, most importantly, will you also give our address to Harvy?
August 31st, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Thankfully, punching hippies is not interwebs-dependent.
August 31st, 2009 at 3:22 pm
How about ham radio?
I don’t know much about it, but
if they come out with bacon radio, I’m there.
August 31st, 2009 at 3:28 pm
So to stop an external attack he would cripple the internal communication network and lead the country into darkness and mass panic. Also, why the eff would a terrorist or hacker go after the people? We don’t have military access and soon we won’t even have money to steal.
August 31st, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Gee Whizz, can’t your new neighbor (with the bucket on his head, and big ears), take a joke? You’ll have to send Sarah over to bury the hatchet.
August 31st, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Well, like the Demoncrats are fond of saying,”Never let a good crisis go to waste. And if the is no crisis, we’ll create one.”
August 31st, 2009 at 5:07 pm
I’ve also heard that searches at airports include the ability to seize any electronic devices such as computers and phones and, depending which department, keep them from 5 to 15 days. This includes searching all files and programs of anyone who raises suspicion.
August 31st, 2009 at 5:58 pm
I’ll send you my pigeon now. I like to be prepared.
August 31st, 2009 at 10:17 pm
THE OBAMA taking over the Internet would be the straw that broke THE OBAMA’s back
August 31st, 2009 at 11:44 pm
“the one” reminds me of some toddlers I’ve known. All day long no matter who had what toy first these little bullies push other kids down and take their toys yelling ” mine, mine, mine, MINE……….
There is an awesome story in the news today about the possibility of the first white mayor of Atlanta since sometime in the 1970′s. Apparently black civic leaders and activist have problem with this. Not because the person is incompetent, they are very competent, not because they’re unpopular, they have across the board support. No they are upset because she (that’s right SHE) is white.
“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” Rev. Martin Luther King.
Among those who were gathered on the Washington Mall that hot August day were Bob Dylan and Joan Baez, NAACP president Roy Wilkins, and future U.S. Representative from Georgia John Lewis and (here’s something I didn’t know) actor and future president of the NRA Charlton Heston (who spoke at the event). One of those evil white, racist, right wing conspirators cling to his God and his guns.
WOW.
September 1st, 2009 at 12:07 am
Don’t let o watch “Live Free or Die Hard”.
September 2nd, 2009 at 12:21 am
Terry_Jim, What about Canadian Bacon Radio?
Dohtimes, I am much too poor to travel by plane. However, if the possibility of my electronics being seized were to occur, I think I would have to download gay porn so that I would not have to worry about them finding my conservative views and then placing me on some list for it… I’d be on a completely different list.
Personally I am finding the American Dictatorship, I mean Presidency, has lost its glamor and appeal for the common people of America. What child says that s/he wants to be president once grown? Most people seem to believe, and likely rightly so, that the position is one beyond the common man’s grasp and only wheedling liars can make it. Granted, that is mainly due to the fact that when running the one man has to try to make everyone happy. Aesop had it right when he said that if you try to please everyone you end-up pleasing no one and losing your donkey in the process… Maybe losing the donkey wouldn’t be too bad.
September 3rd, 2009 at 1:23 am
Morse Code Humor:
.. -. – –.- .-.. ..-. -.-
(translation: int qlf k)
(translation of translation: Are you sending with your left foot? Over.)
That used to crack’em up out in the Pacific back in the ’80′s.
(you had to be there.)