Jokes to Play on Obama While He’s on Vacation

Posted on August 24, 2009 12:02 pm

Obama is on vacation, so it’s the perfect time to mess with his stuff and play jokes on him:

* Reprogram his teleprompters to automatically translate everything to Klingon.

* Replace all his spending bills with spending cuts. When he gets back he’ll be like, “What?! The deficit has gone down instead of up? Something as gone horribly wrong!”

* Replace the Democrat congressmen with people from the insane asylum and see how long it takes him to notice. “There’s Pelosi going on about people-faced spiders again. You tell those townhall protesters!”

* Schedule Biden for a primetime press conference. Don’t give him a teleprompter and tell him to speak off the cuff.

* Put rattlesnakes in all his desk drawers. He’ll be like, “Ow! A snakebite! I’ll just open this drawer to get the anti-venom… Aieee! Another snake! Enough is enough! I have had it with these wee-weed snakes on this wee-weed desk!”

* Invade a country while he’s gone. Man will he be surprised when he gets back!

* Instead of flying him back home, fly him to France and see how long it takes him to notice. “Wow, people are more accepting of my socialist positions than I thought!”

* Edit his Saul Alinksy’s Rules for Radicals book to include a rule that you should talk like a pirate.

* Don’t let him in the White House when he gets back telling him we found his Kenyan birth certificate which made McCain president who was so shocked that he immediately had a heart attack… so guess who’s president now!

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41 Responses to “Jokes to Play on Obama While He’s on Vacation”

  1. Jeff says:

    Swap the doors and windows again. That was hilarious the first time.

  2. Jeff says:

    Override Michelle’s Skynet programing so she adds Izzle to every word.

  3. Jeff says:

    Tell him we traded in Air Force One as part of cash for clunkers

  4. Jeff says:

    Think up a funny catch phrase and paint it on the bottom line of the teleprompter.

  5. ussjimmycarter says:

    Have the CIA waterboard every Dem congressperson until they admit they are terrorists and Obama is the big Kahuna!

  6. Socrates H. O'Troll says:

    If you translate his teleprompter to Klingon, he will think it’s all pillow talk and will answer ‘Yes, Elegant Mistress” to everything.

  7. NunyaB says:

    Frnak is teh funny

    5 stars just for the last one…but you really shouldn’t tease us like that

  8. FormerHostage says:

    Call him every morning at 3:00 am and ask him “Is your refrigerator running?”

  9. Live Free Or Die says:

    “Michelle, the TOTUS seems to be trying to communicate with you.”

  10. FormerHostage says:

    Hide a stained blue dress in the White House in a spot where Michelle is sure to find it.

  11. Live Free Or Die says:

    “We invaded another country? Well just so long as victory is not the goal.”

  12. T-dog says:

    Former Hostage, when he says yes it is, yell really loud, “WELL YOU BETTER GO GET IT!”

  13. Live Free Or Die says:

    Bring his ‘Auntie Z’, and his siblings to live at the White House. ‘Guess who’s coming to dinner!’

  14. Live Free Or Die says:

    Call O-bah-muhh on the Red Phone, and tell him not to worry, Joe has everything under control.

  15. Lily says:

    Paint the White House a less racist color.

  16. Live Free Or Die says:

    Replace his mirrors with O-bah-muhh/Joker posters.

  17. zzyzx says:

    When it comes to practical jokes I don’t think that being stuck with Joe the Vice-President can be topped.

  18. FormerHostage says:

    Call him pretending to be Robert Gates and tell Barry you need him to immediately sign off on the supplemental Defense spending bill authorizing the purchase of 200 feet of flightline, a gallon of prop-wash, and a carton of grid squares.

  19. Red says:

    “Override Michelle’s Skynet programing so she adds Izzle to every word.” HAHAHAHAHAHA!

  20. Son of Bob says:

    “* Replace the Democrat congressmen with people from the insane asylum and see how long it takes him to notice.”

    That already happened years ago, and most democrat voters still haven’t noticed.

  21. Basil says:

    FormerHostage: LOL! We didn’t use those first two in the Army (my USAF relatives did), but we requisitioned many pallettes of grid squares. Of course, at the Class IX warehouse, we demanded those requests be on a Form India Delta Ten Tango.

  22. storm1911 says:

    Set traps all ovet the White House, like over his chair in the oval office, to drop buckets on his head.
    Another option is have Ted Kennedy be his limo driver on Martha’s Vineyard for the “MaryJo” tour. It’s okay, Obama can swim.

  23. ussjimmycarter says:

    Call Obama and ask him to page your father at his next press conference…Jack Mehoff

  24. FormerHostage says:

    Basil,
    yup, and on the form you make a note for him to ask to see Amanda Hugg or Harry Butz.

  25. DamnCat says:

    Remember when the Clinton gang removed all the “W”s from the Whitehouse keyboards before GWB moved in?

    While Obama is gone someone should remove all the zeros.

  26. Jokes to Play on The Obama While He’s On Vacation | links:

    [...] IMAO: * Reprogram his teleprompters to automatically translate everything to [...]

  27. midwestconservative says:

    Replace all potted plants in the White house with poison ivy , poison oak , and other such plants

  28. Paul says:

    Lock the White House doors, then have a couple of cops waiting for him to ask questions once he gets in.

  29. Dohtimes says:

    Remove language from his health care “plan” that covers rashes from Olberman and Matthews leg humps.

  30. Karen says:

    We’ll invade another country and claim we’re trying to install a communist tyrant. He’ll mess that up so bad it’ll be a democracy by the time we leave.

  31. Browncoatone says:

    * Don’t let him in the White House when he gets back telling him we found his Kenyan birth certificate which made McCain president who was so shocked that he immediately had a heart attack… so guess who’s president now!

    Don’t tease me!

  32. Crusty says:

    * Greet Michelle on her return with a surprise Wookiee Life Day party
    * Replace Obama’s DVD collection with all region 2 discs
    * Hillary in high-heeled boots, a whip and a topless pantsuit
    * On the Oval Office desk, a gift-boxed ticking alarm clock with a tag that says “From: Bill Ayers”
    * Fill all his head buckets with aragula
    * Replace teleprompter screens with mirrors so he spends his next entire press conference screaming “STOP STARING AT ME, FOUL DOPPLEGANGERS!”

  33. TerribleTroy says:

    * Schedule Biden for a primetime press conference. Don’t give him a teleprompter and tell him to speak off the cuff.

    After giving him a couple of drinks……….

  34. Jim says:

    Nuts! Stole all my good Klingon jokes.

    I mean seriously the forehead on that woman…

  35. 5 of 7 says:

    Don’t forget the Relative Bearing Grease and a case of Filopian Tubes.

  36. HCG says:

    And also the extremely useful BT/HT-punch, PRC E-7, and bulkhead remover…. Seeing those guys on the bow standing ‘mail buoy watch’ was priceless.

  37. Terry_Jim says:

    Have Smirky Joe Biden show up at Martha’s Vinyard and introduce the new “You have 20 seconds to give the VEEP whatever he wants” Czar.

  38. Terry_Jim says:

    “Hey , Mr. President, meet the newest Czar, his name is ED.
    Mr. 209, give the President a little demonstration…”

  39. Bob Belvedere says:

    Quoted from and linked to at:
    http://www.thecampofthesaints.com/2009.08.23_arch.html#1251155235472

  40. Dohtimes says:

    Wow, Mr. Belvedere do be bloggin’ his ass off.

  41. JV says:

    How about replace Hillary Clinton with Jimmy Carter as Secretary of State?

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