IMAO » Blog Archive » Frank Advice for Life

Frank Advice for Life

Posted by Frank J. on September 16, 2009 at 3:11 pm

Never leave a hippie un-punched; that helps no one.

(20 votes, average: 4.90 out of 5)

Loading ...

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 16th, 2009 at 3:11 pm and is filed under Frank Advice for Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

12 Responses to “Frank Advice for Life”

di butler says:
September 16th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Wiser words, and all that.
Son of Bob says:
September 16th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Wow, way to create a straw man, Frank. As if there was really anyone that wouldn’t punch a hippie, given the opportunity to do so. Even hippies will laugh at that premise.
IH8Socialist says:
September 16th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
and kick them too for good measure.
Tim says:
September 16th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Son of Bob,

I wouldn’t call that a straw man per se. It’s more like conventional wisdom or common sense. Kinda like “Don’t BASE jump without a chute”. It just goes without saying.

However, sometimes we just need to be reminded of the truth. That is what makes us “Truthers”.
Plentyobailouts says:
September 16th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Remember there are rules for hippie punchin:

Always wear gloves, so you don’t get any on you.
It is unsportsman like conduct to bait hippies with pechouli oil and incense.
It is also unsportsman like conduct to hunt hippies with soap.
Never mistake a commie for a hippie and fail to shoot the commie.
Never give a hippie a bath, without the proper EPA permits.
MarkoMancuso says:
September 16th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Son of Bob,

There are some who don’t punch hippies. Remember that one PSA from a few years ago?

There once was a regular Joe named Charles. Charles was an agreeable fellow, but he was a bit of a sissy. One day while walking to lunch, Charles saw a hippy protesting the illegal American occupation of Samoa. Charles thought about punching the hippy in his monkey face, but decided that, hey, someone else was bound to do it eventually.

Then, in a flash, Fred Thompson appeared! Fred distracted a nearby policeman with his casual Southern drawl, took the policeman’s pistol, pistol whipped the hippy, and then punched Charles into a nearby planet for being a sissy.

Remember, kids, friends don’t let friends refrain from punching stupid hippies.

Frankly, I found that particular PSA to be absurd. It’s a common fact that Fred Thompson would never mar a pistol’s finish by using it to whip some dirty, smelly hippy.
Dohtimes says:
September 16th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
Hippie Punchin’ does not mean making three small holes so you can put them in a loose leaf binder? Darn. Um, anybody want a scrap book collection? And some air freshener.
JavelinaBomb says:
September 16th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
Can I replace punching with a flying scissor kick? I hurt my shoulder a while back so I can’t really put much power behind a punch. Plus it looks more awesomer.
Nunya says:
September 16th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
** giggles quietly to self RE – “loose-leaf hippie” **
Peter says:
September 17th, 2009 at 6:22 am
I’m getting too old to punch. Is it okay to whop ‘em with my cane? If I have to I can drill a hole up inside the bottom and melt some lead to pour in there to give the whopping a bit more authority. Please advise, there are some unpunched hippies out here, hiding from the punching committee. I’d like to help but I’m old.
Jimmy says:
September 17th, 2009 at 8:23 am
Most hippies are vegetarians. Therefore, you can attract them with any kind of brown, shredded plant material with smoke wafting out of it. Then, you can hit them over the head with a ham. A big roast beef works in a pinch.
Trigger says:
September 17th, 2009 at 10:39 am
My grandfather had a hickory cane that worked quite well, because of the flexibility it raised massive stinging welts and was light enough it did not tire his whuppin’ arm out. Just something to consider Peter.