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Frank Advice for Life

Posted by Frank J. on September 23, 2009 at 3:01 pm

A penny saved is pretty pointless. Pennies are worthless. You’ll get much more value out of them chucking them at squirrels.

(19 votes, average: 4.53 out of 5)

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24 Responses to “Frank Advice for Life”

snowed in says:
September 23rd, 2009 at 3:05 pm
Back in my poor college student days, I’d take the time to save up 25 pennies, so that I could go to the Student Union, exchange them for a quarter, and play Ms. Pac-Man. Don’t tell me they’re useless.
DamnCat says:
September 23rd, 2009 at 3:20 pm
If you chuck it at squirrels with a slingshot, a penny will buy you a squirrel dinner.
Crusty says:
September 23rd, 2009 at 3:24 pm
No no, you must not! Squirrels have accumulated over $2.3 trillion dollars of pennies over the past 60 years this way and are planning to topple the human economy! Eh, go ahead and throw pennies anyway. Obama is already toppling the human economy, worst the squirrels can do is beat him to it.
Ron Rockstar says:
September 23rd, 2009 at 4:05 pm
And a bird in the hand gets you bird tuberculosis and purple shit stains.
MarkoMancuso says:
September 23rd, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Unless you’re Ben Franklin, who did tricks with pennies to impress the ladies.
Plentyobailouts says:
September 23rd, 2009 at 4:43 pm
A penny and an underage prostitute will buy you 3 days at the clintons.
innominatus says:
September 23rd, 2009 at 4:56 pm
Send the penny to Barry’s hut-dwelling bro’ in Kenya. As a percentage of his income, that penny would be pretty meaningful.
Son of Bob says:
September 23rd, 2009 at 4:59 pm
innominatus,

And, it will be more money than he’ll ever see from Barry or his life-partner Michelle.
Jimmy says:
September 23rd, 2009 at 5:04 pm
“A penny for your thoughts” takes on new meaning under Frank’s philosophy. For example, these days, a penny for a liberal’s thoughts will buy you endless, worthless babble. It use to buy some nice candy instead, but nooooooo. Not any more.
Bailey says:
September 23rd, 2009 at 5:36 pm
If you have fitify cents PLUS a penny, then you can make a pretty cool momento at Zoo Boise.
Bailey says:
September 23rd, 2009 at 5:37 pm
*fifty*
Live Free Or Die says:
September 23rd, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Put 50 pennies in a coin wrapper,hold it in your closed hand, then punch a hippie. When the O-bah-muhh Economy leaves you with pennies, make ‘copper knuckles’.
Live Free Or Die says:
September 23rd, 2009 at 6:26 pm
boycottnrsc.blogspot.com advocates not giving them (or any other monetary units) to the National Republican Senatorial Commitee. NOT ONE RED CENT!!
Live Free Or Die says:
September 23rd, 2009 at 6:36 pm
And if you chuck them at the Mutant Russian Black Squirrels, you’ll just make them mad,(or laugh, if you throw like a girl).
Crusty says:
September 23rd, 2009 at 6:47 pm
I’ve never actually seen a “red” cent before so I couldn’t give one if I wanted to.
Dohtimes says:
September 23rd, 2009 at 7:35 pm
In the movie Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid this guy used a shotgun packed with dimes to shoot a man. In wimpy Obama World we have to chuck pennies a fuzzy tailed park rats.
Wacky Hermit says:
September 23rd, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Pennies are VERY useful! A guy I met on a bus once told me how pennies can be used to solve our energy crisis. He said we could melt down all the pennies and turn them into copper wire, then use the wire to bring electricity to every home in the country! And the best part– it would be FREE because it would have been paid for by the PENNIES!

I guess nobody was listening to his brilliant plan, though, because they were prejudiced against his smell and scruffy appearance.
MoogieP says:
September 23rd, 2009 at 7:47 pm
For a penny and a quarter you can get a cool, squished and flattened penny at many a tourist trap! Presto, change-o! Just how Washington works, huh?
Silicon Valley Jim says:
September 23rd, 2009 at 8:19 pm
Pennies are worthless. You’ll get much more value out of them chucking them at squirrels.

I chuck them at hippies myself, on those rare occasions when I get to San Francisco. Sometimes I have to settle for lefties in Shallow Alto. I heat the pennies with a cigar lighter first.
Jimbobob says:
September 23rd, 2009 at 8:35 pm
MoogieP, just place them on railroad tracks for free and wait for a train. Then give ‘em away to local kids telling them, “This is what you’re money will be worth when you grow up. Squat.”
Nunya says:
September 24th, 2009 at 1:02 am
Pennies can be useful to put on the closed eyelids of dead Leftists.
Terry_Jim says:
September 24th, 2009 at 1:27 am
Mmm, Mmm, Squirrel.

The Other Yellow Meat.
Idahoser says:
September 25th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
A penny made after 1982 is worthless. Before that, though, they were made of copper. A copper penny is worth 1.8¢ today. In a couple years it might be worth 10¢. Gee, I wonder if any other money is like that…?
5 of 7 says:
September 26th, 2009 at 1:20 am
A man went to the hardware store to buy washers. They were 6 cents a piece, so he went home and drilled holes in some nickels. (true story. I read it in Readers Digest.)