Frank Advice for Life
No matter how bleak things may appear, there is no such thing as a situation so desperate that you can’t somehow rig together a shiv.
(28 votes, average: 4.93 out of 5)
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September 8th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Two words: duct tape
September 8th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
I can remember a particularly creative James T. Kirk once made a diamond cannon out of twine bat poo and some charcoal briquettes. Shivs are way easier but you’ll never kill a Gorn that way.
September 8th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
I stick u, I stick u gud. I stick u so gud, you wish i no stick u so good.
– barry hussein, to hillary on acceptance of the demon-rat-tick nomination, about his shiv made of soros hair.
September 8th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
Doggone it Frank. I have a board meeting tonight. Now I haave to clear my desk to keep from carrying out your diabolical subliminal command.
September 8th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
Mythbusters showed how to build and deploy a jailhouse crossbow! Even if Adam Savage show signs of incipient leftness, they’re useful.
September 8th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
spent the whole day installing some crazy closet doors – coulda used a shiv – that would’ve helped.
um – whats a shiv anyway?
September 8th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
Hammy, McGiver would put Kirk to shame. However, McGiver did always have that whole gay non-violent thing going.
September 8th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
Aren’t shivs used mostly by inmates? Is that where you are right now Frank? Blogging from jail?
September 8th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
I looked up Shiv in the Thesaurus and it mentioned Skank. I don’t remember any of the skanks that I chased during my drinking days having anything like a Shiv?
September 8th, 2009 at 9:44 pm
“Shivs are way easier but you’ll never kill a Gorn that way.” – Hammy
There has never been a problem that could not be resolved through a good stabbing. If you do not succeed at first, just stab harder.
September 8th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
@ussjimmycarter
Hate to double post, but perhaps it said shank, which is another word for shiv.
September 8th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
I never leave home without one.
September 8th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
perhaps it said shank, which is another word for shiv.
LOL. ussjc is seeing what he wants to see.
September 8th, 2009 at 11:58 pm
Shank and shiv are two different items. A shank refers to an edged weapon, getting it’s name from the steel shank in a boot, that could be removed and fashioned into a knife. A shiv is a weapon sharpened to a point, like an ice pick.
It’s quite amazing what can be improvised with only common items.
September 9th, 2009 at 12:02 am
Very pointed advice, Frank!
September 9th, 2009 at 12:32 am
Interesting advice Frankie. I have been pondering a article by Pagilla in Salon called “Too Late for Obama to Turn It Around?”
What has me in a quandry is I actually agree with some of the points in her article, which of course makes me terribly nervous but also brings to mind the lyrics from the song Truck’in by the Grateful Dead “Lately it occurs to me what a long, strange trip its been.”
September 9th, 2009 at 8:06 am
Fun fact: During the making of “Shawshank Redemption” Tim Robbins carried a shiv around his his rectum. Not to get into character or anything, he just enjoyed it so much.
September 9th, 2009 at 8:13 am
I too agree with Paglia and no I do NOT like boys!!!
September 9th, 2009 at 10:11 am
You should go back on vacation FrnakJ, you posted more.
September 9th, 2009 at 10:49 am
And in true form and dedication to his lefty ideals, Robbins *still* carries it around. (The batteries are changed on a daily basis.)
That’s entertainment!
September 9th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
I find that a sock full of wet sand will work well in a pinch to bludgeon those oppose you.
September 9th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
I think I saw Mr. T improvise a rocket-powered shiv on the A-Team once. Mr.T, like MacGuyver, but masculine, deadlier, and better hair. By the way, Frank, WHERE are you blogging from? Some vacation, were you need a shiv. Sounds like a gray bar hotel stay.
September 9th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
A corollary of the Kobayashi Maru Theory?
September 9th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
Seanmahair,
A liberal with clear ideals, coherently expressed?
That IS scary!
(Good thing she’s not in Congress!)
September 9th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
The word “shiv” is also used as a substitute for “block” (as in “block-and-tackle”). It’s not exactly easy to come up with one from scratch.
“Hey Harvey! Put it through the shiv over there.” (Harvey puts it through the shiv.)
Ok. Bye bye.