We’re Supposed To Do WHAT With Our Elbows?
Rich Galen of Mullings observed:
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If a Republican were the Secretary of Health & Human Services and, as part of the national effort to control swine flu had given the advice to “cough into your elbow” that would have been the national joke for the ensuing six weeks.
And he’s absolutely right.
Comedically speaking, there’s no difference between “plastic wrap & duct tape” and “cough into your elbow”. They’re both serious advice for real problems that can be very easily taken out of context.
For example:
“Where are you more likely to hear the phrase ‘plastic wrap & duct tape’: a Department of Homeland Security Briefing, or an episode of Dexter?”
and
“Overheard in the Clinton Oval Office: ‘I wouldn’t have been impeached if I’d done that into my elbow’”
Anyway, I encourage people to reduce this administration to a tasteless punchline whenever possible, so make today “_______ your elbow” day.
To get you started, I recommend adding the phrase “in your elbow” after every fortune cookie fortune you read. For example:
* “You find beauty in ordinary things, do not lose this ability.”
* “Your everlasting patience will be rewarded sooner or later.”
* “Something you lost will soon turn up.”
* “A pleasant surprise is in store for you.”
* “You have a deep appreciation of the arts and music.”
* “Look for new outlets for your own creative abilities.”
* “Smiling often can make you look and feel younger.”
* “You will inherit some money or a small piece of land.”
* “A thrilling time is in your immediate future.”
* “Plan for many pleasures ahead.”
* “A secret admirer will soon send a sign of affection.”
* “Love always and deeply.”
As always, leave your elbow-mockery in the comments.
(13 votes, average: 4.77 out of 5)
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September 23rd, 2009 at 11:04 am
She’s a big hit with the K Street Crowd when she does that while wearing a cape. ‘I vant to drink your blood’. Oh, how they howl!
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:13 am
Please leave us a urine sample…
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:17 am
Cover your elbow when you sneeze!
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:22 am
What’s next from these nanny state elitists? I’m guessing it’ll be lessons on, “Now remember ladies, always wipe from front to back.”
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:39 am
“My healthcare plan will cover all of your medical problems…”
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:43 pm
A “How to Sneeze” video from HHS was sent out to our elementary schools. Yhe school where my wife teaches refused to run it at first thinking it was a practical joke. When the video was eventually run the students laughed at it. Good to know Teh One & Co. are laughung stocks of our children. The wisdom of a child.
We will NOT go into elbows and Jocelyn Elders. No way. Nope No sirree.
September 23rd, 2009 at 1:02 pm
I was having a discussion with a young and very innocent 20-something female once, when the subject of sodomy came up (I think we were talking about a recent court case – Lawrence v Texas or something). She asked where the word came from, and I told her -the biblical story of Lot and Sodom and Gemorrah.
Then I told her that gemorry was having sex by rubbing your penis in their bent knees or elbows. She believed me.
With the pictures of elbow sneezing in the news, my circle of life is once again complete. Gesundheit!
September 23rd, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Just think how long the press would have gone on about it if John McCain had suggested checking the air in your car tires as a way to save enough fuel to end our dependency on foreign oil.
September 23rd, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Let us not forget the mockery heaped upon Bush for his “go shopping” request.
September 23rd, 2009 at 3:25 pm
My favorite cookie fortune is “That wasn’t chicken”.
September 23rd, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Dang. Corona beat me to the punch.
Oh well. As they say, “You snooze, you lose…in your elbow”.
September 23rd, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Use it or
losegain it in your arse ! (Sorry, I couldn’t fit “elbow” in there.)September 23rd, 2009 at 5:07 pm
This crisis could have been averted if Swine had been taught to cough into THEIR elbows.
September 23rd, 2009 at 5:13 pm
“We’re Supposed To Do WHAT With Our Elbows?” —It’s obvious we’re to plant our elbows into Hippies’ faces.
But always use Sanitizer to disinfect the elbow afterwards.
September 23rd, 2009 at 5:22 pm
Always remove your medical/surgical mask prior to coughing into your elbow.
September 23rd, 2009 at 5:27 pm
When doctors are checking for hernias, they now will tell you to cough into your elbow.
September 23rd, 2009 at 6:40 pm
September 20th was ‘Talk Like A Pirate Into your Elbow Day’.
September 23rd, 2009 at 6:53 pm
West Virginia Governor Joe Manchin proclaimed the Sunday before Labor Day, ‘Cough Up Your Coalminers’ Black Lung Into Your Elbow’ Day
September 23rd, 2009 at 7:03 pm
O-bah-muhh has proclaimed every day to be ‘Cough Up All Your Money, Cracker, Day’.
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:26 pm
Bart just ain’t as cool when he says “Smell you later in your elbow.” Richard Nixon would have a better legacy if he had said “I am not a crook in your elbow”
September 24th, 2009 at 12:31 am
Movie Lines corrected by the Obama Administration:
Heh, I think I found a new pastime. I think my co-workers are going to be sick of me… again.
*(From the French porn classic, “Dirty, Hairy.”)
September 25th, 2009 at 12:58 am
Obamacare treatment for erectile disfunction:
popsickle stick and duct tape … in your elbow.