What Should I Obsess About

Posted on September 28, 2009 1:09 pm

I was thinking I should shake things up. So what I really need is some sort of issue I can obsess and go crazy over, lashing out and banning every one who disagrees with me until I end up on the left-wing. Problem is, I’m generally apathetic about everything. Still, here’s a few ideas for issues for me to constantly post about until I drive every one away:

* Despite what people on the internet contend, realistically pirates would beat ninjas.

* The stegosaurus is the greatest dinosaur.

* Though the heated rhetoric doesn’t concern me, it’s cheap — and possibly racist — to make fun of the president’s ears.

* Godfather III is not as bad as people say.

* Every second we’re not building asteroid defense we’re stupid dummies who deserve to die.

* A peanut really is a nut.

* Iran and Iraq should be united as one country called Iranq.

* ‘E’ can go before ‘I’ whenever the hell it feels like.

* I don’t like monkeys.

Any other ideas?

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62 Responses to “What Should I Obsess About”

  1. Jeff says:

    Toilet seat up. otherwise you get dog hair on the seat.

    Pirates can’t see ninjas to shoot them. Ninjas can smell pirates even when the pirates are hiding.

    Bacon and circumcision is why we are not all Jews.

    The two dollar bill is the greatest

    The Brontosaurus is real and walks the earth today. It has been hushed up by the CIA because it is in development as a rocket platform. It is BTW the tastiest dino.

  2. 5 of 7 says:

    Water vapor has 30 times the heat retaining capacity of CO2.
    Irrigating fields with water increases the natural rate of water evaporation.
    Therefore … Cutting off water to farmers in California will end global warming.

  3. ussjimmycarter says:

    “The Chevy Corvette is ugly”… Well someone was born Gay!

    In a fight, Sarah Palin would kick both Clint Eastwood and Chuck Norris butts!

  4. ussjimmycarter says:

    The Bugatti Veyron is the most excellent perfect awesome car ever and should be parked in my driveway except I’m being kept down by the man!

  5. BigRichardSmall says:

    I propose banning MarkoMancuso for the vile sacrilige of defaming the Great American Sports car. Ban ussjimmycarter for the idolizing of forien automotive accomplishments over American ones like the great Chevolet ZR1 Corvette. Prasing the actions of forieners sounds like something a Liberal would do. ussjimmycarter is one step away from away from singing the praises of Socialized medicine. In fact, I think you should ban any one that would suport socialisim in any form. Like someone who suports buying cars from companies owned by the government like Chrysler or General Motors…. Aw Crap!

  6. Jimmy says:

    ussjimmycartdr is “being kept down by the man” ?? Get of your knees before it’s too late, ussjc! You can’t let Hillary dominate you like that. It’s bad, BAD.

  7. Joel Hoekstra says:

    * The stegosaurus is the greatest dinosaur.

    -WHOA NELLY! Thems fightin’ words! When you’re choosing dinosaurs for your kick-ball team, who ya gonna call? A stegosaurus who keeps deflating the ball each time he hits it with his spiky tail, or a kick-ass diplodocus who can run all three bases standing still (all she has to do is stretch out her neck to tag each base). Granted, getting a diplodocus to tag all the bases in the correct order can take years of training, but think of all the precious game time that’s wasted fetching new kick-balls each time a stegosaurus steps up to the plate! NO WAY Hosea! Stegosaurs is the RUNT of that litter! Oh, and BTW: DIPLODOCUS RULES!!!

  8. AZCON says:

    “banning every one who disagrees with me until I end up on the left-wing.”

    nicely put.

    BTW, did you write all the comments too? They seem funnier than usual.

  9. Mikee says:

    The Florida State Bird should not be the mockingbird. Mostly because the mockingbird is also the state bird of Texas. I suppose that involves a lot of time shuttling between South Padre and Pensacola during spring break, for all the promotional endorsements.

    Stegosaur, megalodon, ankylosaur, diplodocus? Nobody brought up T. Rex, or raptors (the most overused dinosaurs in modern cinema). So allow me to state that the coolest dinosaur ever was a Triceratops, and his name was Jim.

    How about obsessively objecting to space colonization efforts because it will hinder your “Nuke the Moon” proposal? I could get behind being banned for pointing out that one could colonize Mars and Nuke the Moon at the same time….

  10. chip says:

    John DeLorean was framed!

    OK, its kind of waaaaayyy out in left field. But no one would see it coming until it was too late.

  11. BigRichardSmall says:

    John DeLorian stoped making decent cars when he left Pontiac. Saddly Pontiac when the way of Studabaker just when they finally got their act back together.

  12. 5 of 7 says:

    It’s not John Delorean’s fault the Flux-capacitor wasn’t an energy efficent appliance.

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