Comments on: Frank Advice for Life

By: DesertElephant

DesertElephant — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 17:11:35 +0000

I agree. If Badger is in need of freeing, he should stay put. I mean, after he humped Mal on that salvage job, then held the crew hostage on the cattle smuggling operation, he totally deserves to be stuck in that box. Stupid Badger.

By: Alan

Alan — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 16:48:26 +0000

If you receive an email with an attachment “Picture of Nancy Pelosi”, don’t open it. It might contain a picture of Nancy Pelosi.

By: ussjimmycarter

ussjimmycarter — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 11:03:24 +0000

If the Badger is in there and you open the box, just roll him over and rub his belly. They like that…alot!

By: Son of Bob

Son of Bob — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 05:55:19 +0000

Surprisingly, badger tastes very much like chicken…or so I’m told.

By: Outback Jon

Outback Jon — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 04:54:37 +0000

I saw a sign that said “Free Manure”. Didn’t even realize he was in prison…

By: 5 of 7

5 of 7 — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 02:55:31 +0000

We had a dachshund named Baron when I was a kid.
He used to chew the shells off golfballs and then bark at them when the rubberbands inside snapped and hit him in the nose.
We never had any trouble with badgers while he was around.

By: Wacky Hermit

Wacky Hermit — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 00:57:59 +0000

…so if I see a “Free Tibet” or “Free Mumia” sticker on a car, can I open the car and get a free Tibet or Mumia? If the car has both stickers, do I get both?

By: Terry_Jim

Terry_Jim — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 23:24:26 +0000

TNSTAAFB.

By: MDr

MDr — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 23:23:40 +0000

Badger? Wasn’t that one of the Soviet Union’s front line delivery system of nuclear weapons? It makes sense now. Delivered to your door by the cultist followers of mmm mmm mmm

By: zzyzx

zzyzx — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 22:37:43 +0000

This is pretty sound advice, although I must admit I’ve never actually heard of anyone finding a box on their doorstep marked “Free Badger”. However, I have heard of people finding a burning brown paper bag on their doorstep….’specially on Halloween eve. Here’s some more sound advice….don’t stomp on it!

By: Deafdog

Deafdog — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 20:20:45 +0000

Thanks, Frank.

What if the box is labled, “Cheap Badgers,” “Moderately Priced Badgers,” or “Priceless Badgers?”

Same advice, or can we see what’s inside?

By: cjtony97

cjtony97 — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 20:10:28 +0000

But the box is TELLING me to FREE THE BADGER!!! Do I listen to you or the box?!?! The box makes a convincing argument.

By: innominatus

innominatus — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 20:10:23 +0000

Be advised that the box that says “Free Willy” might also have scary contents.

By: Plentyobailouts

Plentyobailouts — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 19:58:14 +0000

How can the badger be free if is captive in a box?

Suppose they fool you and write “free bacon” on the box?

What happen if the box is labled “Free Badger”, you don’t open the box, and it was actually bacon?

By: storm1911

storm1911 — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 19:52:46 +0000

SarahK must NOT open th box under any conditions. She will badger you.

By: FormerHostage

FormerHostage — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 19:32:38 +0000

Who’s Badger and why is he in Jail?

That’s Mumia…RACIST!

By: Plentyobailouts

Plentyobailouts — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 19:31:00 +0000

Who’s Badger and why is he in Jail?

By: FormerHostage

FormerHostage — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 19:28:33 +0000

Marko…watch it with the anti-dachshund crap bucko! Ironically, wienerdogs were bred to hunt badgers (its a myth that they were bred to hunt squeaky toys).

By: FormerHostage

FormerHostage — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 19:25:47 +0000

…don’t open it

Instead squint your eyes and say, “Badgers?! BADGERS!?…We don’ need no stinkin’ BADGERS!”

By: Peregrine John

Peregrine John — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 19:12:15 +0000

I dunno. With a label like that, it sounds more like it should be a bumper sticker.

By: MarkoMancuso

MarkoMancuso — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 19:10:34 +0000

It’s possible, however, that the box could contain mushrooms or snakes. I don’t like mushrooms, but snakes can be used to eliminate your enemies (and their annoying Dachshund that never stops barking). Therefore, I disagree with Frank.

Badgers are harmless anyway. Just ask the Iowa Hawkeyes.