Frank Advice for Life
If you have room to build one in your backyard, an octagon is an efficient way to settle disputes. A thunderdome also works, but many HOAs have regulations against them.
(9 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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October 21st, 2009 at 3:21 pm
The only truly civilized way to settle disputes is Rollerball.
October 21st, 2009 at 3:47 pm
I’m all for the octagon. Last night my grandpa got all up in my grille and I got him in the oct. Dislocated his shoulder and choked him out in like 2 minutes. I don’t care if he is 40 years older than me, the oct. is the perfect equalizer.
October 21st, 2009 at 4:13 pm
The only truly civilized way to settle a dispute is a magic duel like the one time when Moses was in Egypt.
October 21st, 2009 at 4:56 pm
I prefer single shot pistols from the holster at 50 paces. Dueling to the death is the only honorable, (and therefore civilized) method of resolving disputes with finality. The Octagon is ok for minor disputes…
October 21st, 2009 at 5:03 pm
My dispute with Frank could easily be settled with an In My World.
October 21st, 2009 at 5:26 pm
since I live out in the country I can build a Thunder Dome with no problem.
October 21st, 2009 at 5:45 pm
I thought I saw an Octogon in the Neighbor’s backyard, but it turned out to be one of those enclosed trampolines.
The kids inside it were going at it pretty good though. Maybe they watch MMA.
Aquaman and Submariner settle their disputes by Octopi Fighting: http:// http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjGbKwOIw7s
October 21st, 2009 at 6:23 pm
Personally I can’t stand octagons…..however I’m very partial to polygons, they’re so cool. On the other hand I’m neutral on thunderdomes.
October 21st, 2009 at 8:36 pm
Most of the HOA’s up here issue nary a peep about thunderdomes… but there are literally PAGES of stipulations regarding the display of Old Glory.
October 21st, 2009 at 9:15 pm
Actually, yurts are nice, too, for when you have too many liberal relatives visit you… or guests that snore.
October 21st, 2009 at 10:22 pm
An octagon has twice as many corners as a square boxing ring, so UFC fighting is supposedly twice as good as WWE wrestling or boxing.
But the running of the bulls in Pamplona takes place in what is essentially a set of parallel lines – a street – and I submit that it is just as awesome, if not more cool, than WWE or boxing or UFC.
I know of zero events taking place in a triangular venue, other than the end of a shuffleboard game, or the pin placement in bowling. ‘Nuff said, neither are anywhere as cool as either the parallel venue or the square or the octagon.
And the Pentagon is obviously so cornerific that it has been attacked several times by hippies (ineffectually, of course) and even Islamic terrorists (once). It was even infiltrated by Kevin Costner for the Soviet Union, while he nailed Sean Young, who was also nailed by Indiana Jones, who was hired by the Pentagon.
So the number of corners in the sports venue might be important, might not be important. We should test this.
October 21st, 2009 at 11:11 pm
“… zero events taking place in a triangular venue,”
Care to bet a few quatloos on that, Mikee ?
… as cool as the parallel and octagonal venues, and as real as the squared circle of pro wrestlin’ !
October 22nd, 2009 at 6:18 am
What country do you live in, Frank? We have people who wear helmets to ride a bike! What do you suppose our Dear Leader (May He Live Forever) will do with this? Regulation shall be key! Elbow pads, knee pads (useful later for all metrosexuals participating), Mouth Guardst etc. shall be mandated by the Feds and strictly enforced by those who worship at the altar of Mao (He didn’t Live Forever!)
October 22nd, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Thunderdomes may be great, but you do have HOA restrictions. However, I’ve poured over the documentation and bylaws and Dodecahedrons and Buckey Balls are totally legal. Plus, they have plenty of places to hang Chainsaws and poleaxes. Get yours today!!!
October 23rd, 2009 at 10:15 pm
I always liked “Full-Contact King-of-the-Hill” as a kid. As a spectator sport it has great possibilities. I can see teams of all the big galoots who enter ‘tough man’ contests but lack the speed or agility needed for other professional sports and Society of Creative Anachronisms fans thrashing the tar out of each other with (lightly) padded weapons on a big hill of dirt or snow as a popular half-time entertainment for other, more conventional sporting events. Of course, for ‘affairs of honor’, the padding comes off. Last man (or team) standing, wins! Is there room for a big hill of dirt outside the UN? That would make Security Counsel meeting more interesting.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Dear Terry Jim, the linked jpeg shows a truncated triangle which has 6 sides, which is an even number, and which is also not a triangle.
I don’t wager quatloos, I wager worlds….