Frank Advice for Life

Never stare directly at the sun, as it could cause blindness. Also, never stare directly at the moon as it could infect your brain with moon-madness.

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15 Comments

  1. If you stare at a tree long enough, bird poop will magically appear in your hair. Hippies call this Mother Natures perm, mousse and delousing tri-fecta.

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  2. Staring at the sun would become very boring if it were possible to do so without destroying ones vision. Even slack jawed yokels would find it tiresome and somewhat akin to the drudgery of watching grass grow. I thought staring at the moon would give you moonshine, but I’m really much too drunk to think about it right now.

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  3. I recommend following the same policy with Rosie O’Donnell, Looking directly at her can moonbat-madness and blindness.

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  4. Breaking News – President Obama has issued a statement stating that he wants to change the rotation of the earth. He said, “When we, at the top of the world, flush our toilets the water swirls in a rightward direction. This is not acceptable. When a person flushes the toilet the water should always swirl in a leftward direction.”

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  5. Don’t stare directly at the lights of a approaching truck on a dark road.
    That hardly ever turns out well.

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  6. Remember, if you want to watch a solar eclipse don’t look directly at the sun. Poke a hole in a shoebox and look into the shoebox instead of the sun. Or, play a video game instead. Because staring at the inside of a shoebox is really stupid.

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  7. If you find yourself eye-to-eye with a horse’s ass, you’ve just agreed with a Democrat. You’d have been better off staring at the sun.

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  8. Breaking News – President Obama has appointed a Staring At The Sun Czar to work with congress to pass to legislation to make it illegal to stare at the Sun. The President estimates the federal government will save 1 gazillion dollars each year in health care costs by stopping this practice by Americans who need treatment for this deadly addiction…

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  9. I remember being told in high school that doing something would cause blindness, but the teacher didn’t call it “looking at the sun”.

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  10. breaking news – President Obama has asked the ‘staring at the sun czar’ to conduct a study to find a way to shave 1 thousand dollars from the 1 gazillion annual budget. The study will cost 2 thousand dollars.

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  11. Can I stare at the backside of the moon safely, or would that be “mooning” in some sense of the word?

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