Obama’s Enemies List
We’ve been hearing that Obama is making enemies lists just like Nixon, but people are wondering who would be on this list. I can’t tell you how, but I have obtained an official Obama enemies list and I print it here at IMAO exclusively.
OBAMA’S ENEMIES LIST
* FOX News
* Rush Limbaugh
* Glenn Beck
* Jake Tapper
* General McChrystal
* Joe Biden’s mouth
* The economy
* Brazil
* The Jews
* That guy at Starbuck’s who is always screwing up my order
* The dwarf planet Eris
* Optimus Prime
* Blue pens
* Malia Obama
* All other Nobel Peace Prize winners
* Jesus
* Capitalism
* Liberty
* The Constitution
* Americans
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(36 votes, average: 4.92 out of 5)
October 26th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Rahm Emanuel is getting closer to being on the list, too, since he nixed the idea of bringing the White House guard uniforms out of mothballs.
October 26th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
That list is incomplete. You left off:
- The unborn
- Babies born that he tried to kill once already
- Babies born in Washington, D.C. who want to go to private school
- Babies who survive abortion and grow up to serve in the Armed Forces
- People who pay taxes
- People who pay their own mortgages
- People who own their own businesses
- People who make more money than average
- People elected President before November 1, 2008.
- Old people who don’t take the hint and die, already
- Old people who die and leave money to their kids
And my apologies to anyone reading this who personally feels insufficiently demonized.
October 26th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Brazil the place or Brazil the movie?
And I’m pretty sure Dinosaurs with Rocket Launchers has to be on his list.
October 26th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
It would really be easier to make a “friends” list, as it would be much shorter, and it also makes his “enemies” list understandable:
OBAMA’S FRIENDS LIST
- The Koran
- Muslim and non-Muslim terrorists
- Communist dictators
- Anyone who hates or resents the greatness of America
- Anyone who doesn’t accept him as their Messiah
October 26th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
My bad…I meant “Anyone who accepts him as their Messiah”.
October 26th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Those meddling kids that ride around in that van with the big dog!
That smart aleck that calls at 3:00 am and asks things like “Is your refrigerator running?” or “Do you have Prince Albert in a can?”
October 26th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
* People who are immune to H1N1
* People who say H1N1 isn’t an emergency
* People who caught H1N1 and didn’t die a hideous death whilst blaming the GOP for their troubles
* People who demand their free unicorn
October 26th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Biggest missing enemy: reality
October 26th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
- Jack Bauer
- John Jameson
- Emperor Palpatine (One Master, one apprentice)
- General HAWK and his G.I. Joes
- FrankJ and his Lunar Nuclear Arsenal
- The 1997 Howell High School Drum Line
- The Confederation Fleet (Obama is a damn Kilrathi name)
- The other 2 Cinnamon Toast Crunch chef’s that ‘diappeared’ (Thank’s to Rahm)
- Karl Rove (But not that snappy dressing Rarl Kove)
- Sarah Palin’s husband (Jealous much?)
- Bea Arthur
- The Lemon’s on the slot machine
- Super Mario
- Chelsea Clinton (She’ll be a threat someday)
- Tipper Gore (He loves him some GTA Vice City)
- TWA Airlines
I think I got em all.
October 26th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Michelle Malkin
Michelle Obama
Ann Coulter
Neal Boortz
And who ever sent him out to throw the first pitch in mom jeans.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
People, there is still one glaring omission.
Buckets
and of course
Bucket Manufacturers
October 26th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Where’s Bachmann (MN) on these lists? Sheesh!
I like the Friends approach too, but I’ll list my useful idiots
Newt
Bob Dole
Bill Frist
Linseed Gwam
McCain (the elder)
NY23 GOP establishment
October 26th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
The Cheneys
Israel
Christians
Whitie
FoMoCo
American soldiers
BOOOOSH
U S dollar
The Constitution, bill of rights, supreme court
October 26th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
Tony Romo
October 26th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Insects that eat precious, precious arugula.
October 26th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Joe Biden’s enemy list:
* Temperance movement
October 26th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Shoes with laces
Real Americans
Pop tops
Pop Tarts
Borders
illegals that don’t vote democrat
Milk
Toothpaste
October 26th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
* The Founding Fathers
* Land owners
* Bitter people who live in “fly-over country”
* Gun owners
* Harvey
* Unorganized communities
October 26th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
And let us not forget:
Architects who make windows that look like doors.
October 26th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
Friends list:
Teleprompters
Teleprompter manufactures (if they’re unionized)
October 26th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
Enemies:
Articulate people
October 26th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
An excellent list. I’m thinking, though, that Americans and the Constitution come somewhere after Fox News but before Jake Tapper.
October 26th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
* Wire Hangers
October 26th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Critical decisions
Healthy people
Helathy economies
People with money
White people without money
White grandmothers
Non-racists preachers
October 26th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
* Banks not owned by the US Government
* Insurance companies not owned by the US Government
* Auto companies not owned by the US Government
* Any company not owned by the US Government
* Company executives that weren’t bailed out
* Any doctor who treat patients for cash
* Anyone opposed to the ‘Public Option”
* Anyone who thinks Cap-’n-Trade is actually Cap-’n-Tax
* Any global warming disbeliever
* The US Armed Forces
October 26th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
Don’t forget the “game of bowling” and “Mom Jeans”
October 26th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
The common housefly
October 26th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
Now, now, let’s be fair to Obama. he doesn’t hate all nobel peace prize awardees, just the ones who don’t hate america. so carter is okay with him, for instance.
October 26th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Obama hates fairness that does not skew left. It is only proper fairness if it only benefits liberals. Right-wingers are not allowed fairness.
October 26th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Anyone owning a gun.
Rednecks
The South
Southern white men in pick up trucks pulling bass boats white a rifle rack on the back of their pick up.
October 26th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Southern white men in pick up trucks pulling bass boats with a rifle rack on the back of their pick ups. Sorry for the error. Too many Lone Star beers.
October 26th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
* Eastern Bluebirds
October 26th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
Good list! Now do Europe.
October 26th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
You forgot to add “The 1972 Miami Dolphins”
October 26th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
Me……
October 26th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
Mark Levin
God
Me
October 26th, 2009 at 8:00 pm
What’s his problem with Dr. Manhatten?
Oh, sorry, I misread the line about ‘Blue pens”.
October 26th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
He keeps the enemies list next to his ‘Bucket List’,
the list of buckets to try to fit his head in before he dies.
October 26th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
Rahm Emanual: What do you want me to do, sir?
President Obama: I want you to make a list of my current enemies. Take this down.
[Rahm looks for a pen and paper while Obama talks]
President Obama: Rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Republicans!!
Ramh Emanual: [finding pen and paper] Could you repeat that, sir?
October 26th, 2009 at 10:59 pm
Arnold Palmer, the man and the drink.
October 27th, 2009 at 6:42 am
The Military
Bitter Clingers
God
October 27th, 2009 at 6:43 am
Surgeons
Doctors
Fred Thompson
October 27th, 2009 at 8:16 am
You forgot the Higgins’ boson!
Heh heh…bosom.
October 27th, 2009 at 10:11 am
Me, me, me. I want to be on the list too. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
My whine for the day.
October 28th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
Admiral William “Husker” Adama
Team Dai-Gurren
Joel Robinson
Harry Potter
December 22nd, 2009 at 3:20 pm
TWEEKERS. No they don’t look organized, but look at all the time they have to bring it all down.
Also, the majority of said group is well armed, rednecks, with agendas that we may not as a whole understand but, since when has that ever slowed a fringe movement down?