History belongs to whoever shows up and is willing to work for it.

* You can either know the position of Air Force One causing panic over a city, or, who’s on the plane, but not both (except Fox News.)

* Like regular Heisenberg Uncertainty, you can either know the position – or the momentum – of Michelle Obama’s Klingon appendages – but not both.

* Any attempt to codify Mr. Obama’s morality will lead to intellectual/photon entanglement and utter chaos in the White House. The result will be a campaign against Fox News.

* Obama wave functions do not collapse like in normal Quantum Theory. They just continue on…. and on…. and on…. and self-interfere in what’s called a Biden Space (BS).

* In the Obama Wave Theory of Quantum Mechanics, matter exhibits a “Yes We Can!” – “No, We Can’t” duality. This duality is similar to the mind/body duality of classical philosophy. (huh?)

6. Ringmaster says:
October 21st, 2009 at 1:43 pm

My kitty’s breath smells like catfood.

Schrödinger’s cat’s breath simultaneously smells and doesn’t smell like cat food until somebody actually smells it.

Now I shall return to applying corporal punishment to my non-hominid simian primate.

Can I have a shotgun that shoots microwaves instead?

The act of observation, which collapses the wave function, is conformable to the Kantian act of synthesis, by which phenomenal objects are introduced into consciousness and subjected to the categories of the understanding. Niels Bohr’s own Principle of Complementarity was that matter and energy could exhibit wave properties, or particle properties, but never both at the same time. If what Kantian consciousness requires is discrete actual things in space and time, this is exactly what is delivered in quantum mechanics: Bohr stipulated that observers and their equipment would never be subject to quantum mechanical probability effects. Around us, for Bohr, we maintain a little, discrete, actual, Classical universe. -Kelley L. Ross

There. We can haz lazers now?

Exactly, you can’t.

Personally, my goal it kick Science! in the ‘nads. What has Science! ever done for us? Nothing! Thomas Edison invented the DVD player while Science! was out getting shot down by the waitresses at Hooters. Nicola Tesla invented the frozen burrito and Thomas Moore discovered the tiny brain that tells the aspirin where your pain is and neither one of them had a single day of Science! training.

Sorry about not being smart enough. I got distracted by needing to remove all the pinecones from my backyard so’s I could still make it to heaven.

Rice paper.

As for lasers, just take a laser pointer and shine it through a diamond and you can cut the tail of any kitteh. That has been known for decades. The problem is how do you ‘clothesline’ kittehs if they have no tails?

Neanderthals in the comment section? But aren’t comment contents a reflection of the blog posts?

Corollary: “I do not like this president and I am sorry I ever had anything to do with his getting into office.”
— Many Obama voters about the 2008 presidential election…in 2009.

2. “If anybody says he can think about quantum problems without getting giddy, that only shows he has not understood the first thing about them.”
— Niels Henrik David Bohr (1885-1962) Danish physicist.

Corollary: “If anybody says he can be the president of the United States and gets giddy with excitement over the upcoming power trip and all the “Hail to Me” hoopla, that only shows he has not understood the first thing about the office.”
— Pretty much any of the living former presidents, except for Carter (still giddy) and Clinton (who may or may not know that the party has been over for a while now).

Actually, once FrankJ unveils his rocket- and laser-armed T-rex, he’s going to get a lot of that “Hail to Me” hoopla, which is only his due.