Why Has Science! Let Us Down?
Caleb Howe has an article, in light of recent work to get back to the moon, asking what’s happened to all the things Science! has promised us, like jetpacks and robots. Well, Science! is a fickle master that is easily insulted. Each day someone disputes evolution is another day Science! denies us jetpacks and laser rifles. We must give unquestioning loyalty to all the tenets of Science! or it may even punish us with something scientific like an asteroid or a supernova. Or maybe even just a regular nova. Science! also doesn’t like the Harry Potter or Twilight series as they are quite unscientific. Lay those books at its altar (a lab table) and burn them, and Science! may grant you knowledge.
You can have a robot friend and fly around with him in your jetpack, but only if you convince Science! that you are worthy.
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(22 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
October 29th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
As long as its not a champagne supernova. Oh, how I hate Oasis.
October 29th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
…and jetpacks are dangerous, like questioning your faith.
October 29th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Is there a risk that, if Science! gives the robot an opposable digit, then he might steal my jetpack?
October 29th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
They that worship Science! shall renew their strength via steroids and HGH
They shall mount up with jetpacks, they shall fly and not be weary
They shall destroy the unbelievers with Lasar Rifles, and not fail
Their victory will be over themselves, for they loves Big-Science!
October 29th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
“…or it may even punish us with something scientific like an asteroid or a supernova. Or maybe even just a regular nova.”
So, would Aldo be regular or super? I vote super.
October 29th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
I think you could be confusing Science! for old episodes of The Jetsons.
October 29th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
Have you seen how most people drive? Do you really want them to have rocket packs and flying cars?
October 29th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
Aldo….. a Super Nova?….Nah thats just a fantasy
October 29th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
What I want to know is why did Miss Sakamoto blind me with science?……Thomas Dolby, Home for Deranged Scientists, England
October 29th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
What, you didn’t hear? We can’t go back to the moon because there is no moon. There’s now a consensus among liberal politicians and liberal scientists that the moon doesn’t exist. I know you see it, but you’re not a liberal scientist so you’re not qualified to have an opinion.
October 29th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
You can have a robot friend and fly around with him in your jetpack
My robot friend left me – for an android.
October 29th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
Jetpacks? Flying cars? Teh ghey. Who wants or needs that crap when you could have muscle cars and V-STOL jet fighters.
October 29th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
The problem is that Science has been taken over by Eros, if it can’t get you lucky, it’s not science anymore.
We don’t have a cure for cancer but we have like 73 erectile dysfunction drugs. (Hi Bob!)
I figure we’ll have the holo-deck long before jet-packs.
Hopefully with a floor drain so it can be washed down after each…uhhh…use.
October 29th, 2009 at 8:44 pm
The truth is we could have already had all that if the government restricted itself to its proper constitutional functions.
October 30th, 2009 at 12:20 am
Brad H (in the comments over there) got it right.
Science hasn’t promised us anything.
October 30th, 2009 at 1:55 am
I don’t know. I rather like semiconductors. Those little electrons zipping around and being told where to go. Wish we could do that to Democrats. I’d send ‘em to the bit bucket.
October 30th, 2009 at 5:56 am
Being a computer guy and former programmer. I am amused by evolution. Computers run by a series of 1′s and 0′s. Essentially on or off. In every human cell’s DNA there is a similar code made up of A,T,G, & C. There are 3 billion of these letters in each DNA sequence arranged in specific formulas to tell the cell what to do and how to act. There are 1 trillion cells in the human body… Evolution indeed…
October 30th, 2009 at 7:32 am
computer guy: So, you don’t actually know anything about biology or genetics, then?
October 30th, 2009 at 9:29 am
Yup,
People are run by ones and zeroes too, the synapse fires or doesn’t. We’re just organic computers with either the illusion of free will or real free will (I will choose free will).
October 30th, 2009 at 9:39 am
“Well, Science! is a fickle master that is easily insulted.”
So, you’re saying Science! is basically Charles Johnson from LGF?
Sorry, couldn’t help myself…
October 30th, 2009 at 11:38 am
Science! has let us down. I want my Lost In Space laser rifle, jet pack, robot, and spaceship. We already have Dr. Smith. He is president now.
“Warning Will Robinson !! Guard your buckets (and wallets). Warning warning.”
Actually real science was never funded enough. We spent it on welfare mommas and sex changes for Gore Vidal and Science!.