Frank on Science!: God
As you probably know, what the first thing everyone is required to do when becoming a scientist is disprove the existence of God. There is the traditional disproof (“Can God create a rock He cannot lift?”), but we like people to be creative and come up with their own proofs (a popular one today is, “If God is so perfect, how come He didn’t patent the iPhone?”). While it is understood that God and Science! conflict, not everyone understands why.
In Science!, there is the “observer effect”, which is that observing anything in nature also affects it. God is omnipresent, which means He’s observing everything. So, in effect, God is screwing up all our experiments. So, there are two ways around this: Disprove God or come up with same way to keep Him from watching and corrupting our experiments.
Disproving God is the easiest option, but there are some efforts to do experiments in ways to negate the God bias. Hell is supposed to be farthest from God’s influence, so doing experiments there may be less corrupted. Of course, then we have to deal with that Satan guy always looking over our shoulders. He creeps us out. I mean, he’s bipedal and has cloven hooves; that makes no evolutionary sense whatsoever.
Science!
(19 votes, average: 4.26 out of 5)
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November 10th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Heh. You’re my daily inspiration and the funniest guy on the webs; but I need to assure that “science’s” actual tenets are not lost in the joke. Science and logic do not try to prove the non-existence of God. First, science avoids postulating the existence of God as a going-in assumption (see also: magic). Second, one cannot logically prove that God does not exist, given a sufficiently flexible definition of God.
[You can neither scientifically prove nor disprove an infinite God. Science! -Ed.]
November 10th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Sure you can disprove the existence of God. Just take a vote among liberal scientists, and if you reach a “consensus” amongst everyone in the room, it’s called “settled science” and can never be questioned again. Geez, I thought everybody knew that.
November 10th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
God has an intinerary. So you could, conceivably, do the experiments when he’s not looking. Unfortunately, God gave the itinerary to the Christians, and they won’t share it because science! is always making fun of them.
[Then Christians need to man-up. -Ed.]
November 10th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
The Bible says that not one sparrow falls from the sky without God knowing it. Maybe He also gives them baguettes to drop on the LHC.
November 10th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
Frank, if there is a God, how do you explain present hussein and algore?
November 10th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Here is semi-related question why is far-left culture so across the board suicidal? Abortion kills their voting ranks. Small eco-friendly families kills their ranks and leaders. Immigration to compensate for the unborn voters will heavily shrink there culture influence. Why are they all on-board this Kevorkian culture bus? That would be make a hilarious photoshop picture. Kavorkian driving a bus full of greens (hippies), reds (socialists), blues (unions).
November 10th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
I really liked this post!
November 10th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
My personal favorite disproof of God’s existence is that our eyes are wired “upside down”. That would probably be a better argument if we saw things upside down, though.
November 10th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
So the left frets about “disproving god” while the right frets about a “disapproving God”. Seperated by naught but a single vowel. Which is is 250$ on wheel of fortune right?
November 10th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
I think my favorite way that God messes with Science is how He always manages to cancel the International Globull Warming Conferences on account of snow.
Can’t you just see Him up there: “Nuh uh! I’m the one who controls the heavens and the Earth! And don’t you forget it!” Followed by a well-deserved cosmic wedgie to the offenders.
November 10th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
I’m not sure hiding from God is a good idea. What happens if we are the cat in the box and God doesn’t look? Science! isn’t satisfied with blasting us to atoms or looking for some Bosun’s Mate named Higgs; now they want non-existence!
Tell you what. I still haven’t gotten all my money out of social security yet, how about holding off on that experiment for a couple decades.
November 10th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
I’m pretty sure God kind of invented the whole Science thing… I know…he can’t possibly be as smart as a Harvard Biology Prof. but he could probably hold his own in a debate with one…
November 10th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
See the problem is that God likes to mess with us, every religion knows that.
See The Odyssey for a good example.
Heck, the Norse had a god whose job was to mess with us.
Or just read the Bible. He messes with people all the time, why wouldn’t he give us Science! and then mess with it?
Did you ever think that maybe we’re in a new book of Job, and Satan is winning the bet this time?
Look at how much he pissed off Einstein by throwing dice.
And we usually crap out.
November 10th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Questions, questions, and no answers.
What if, just for fun God creates this little thing called the universe. Something that didn’t exist before. Creating all the laws of nature and science at the same time, sort of like a six year old kid with an ant farm, except he creates the ants and the sand and everything else too. Now all this is good and well except what fun is it really? Everything has to follow the rules you created, and most of the ants are just ignorant lizards with walnut sized brains. So scratch the dinosaurs, and start again with something a little more complicated, give them enough brains to understand you, but not enough to BE you, if they fail the test of temptation. Ah now we have an interesting project, the game is ON.
There, you happy now, I have told you the whole story of God.
I feel so cheap.
November 10th, 2009 at 8:23 pm
God is omnipotent; He has infinite power. A finite-sized rock fails the question, because God can surely lift any finite-sized rock.
Consider, then, an infinite-sized rock. An infinite-sized rock will occupy the whole, vast, entirety of space. With the whole, vast, entirety of space consisting of nothing but this infinite rock, there is no longer any concept of “lift”.
Therefore, by creating an infinite-sized rock God can create a rock He cannot lift. The so-called “disproof” fails.
November 10th, 2009 at 8:54 pm
Not bad, ss396.
My favorite take on this is what I just found a bit ago – the PJTV Klavan on the Culture : Find God in 60 Days video.
http://wbx.me/l/?p=1&u=http://www.pjtv.com
November 10th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
I just had a fish fillet from Mcdonalds that totally proved the existence of salt.
November 10th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
Proverbs 24:3-4
“By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established;
by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.”
God would bless us more if he could trust us not to screw it up.
You don’t give a loaded gun to a drunken monkey.
Heck, we haven’t even figured out how to use fire with 100% safety yet!
November 10th, 2009 at 10:43 pm
I leaned that if I can’t come up with a spiffy quip within 5 minutes, just give up and back out.
November 11th, 2009 at 12:25 am
I agree fully, Corona. I find myself, by the way, unable to come up with any Clint Eastwood quotes. Therefore, I must retire.
November 11th, 2009 at 12:32 am
The election of one Barack Obama to the Presidency of these United States proves that statement to be false.
November 11th, 2009 at 2:02 am
What does God need with a
starshipuniverse?November 11th, 2009 at 6:25 am
Can God make a rock he can’t lift? Umm…he made the entire Universe! But rather than being in awe of that, humans come up with a dweep question like that…to which God should probably start smoting and shunning! Smoting and Shunning…just for being a dick!
November 11th, 2009 at 10:06 am
No need for God to create the infinite rock, for He IS the Infinite Rock. The LORD is my Rock and my Salvation. God Rocks!
If I ascend up into heaven, Thou art there. If I make my bed in Hell, behold, thou art there.
Sorry, no hiding from God.
How come He didn’t patent the iphone?>>> The earth is the LORD’s, and the fullness thereof. He owns it all, though some of it is destined for the Lake of Fire.
When Satan starts creeping you out, ask him to transform himself into an angel of light.
That, or the Eye of Sauron, that way he can keep a eye out forthat God guy.
November 11th, 2009 at 10:15 am
Never trust a god who needs a starship – God doesn’t need to travel, he’s already there.
November 11th, 2009 at 8:39 pm
That’s not even the problem with your deity. This silly question is in no way a “disproof.”
There is not need to “disprove” anything here.
People that make claims are the ones that should bring up evidence. If I said that there is a gnome in my basement,
you would probably ask me for evidence. In that situation, it would be stupid of me to ask you to disprove the existence of my gnome.
The fact of the matter is, you can not disprove *anything*. You can, however, prove (or at least convince someone with a high degree of certainty) that something exists. There has been no proof for god and I suspect there will there ever be.
November 12th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
Matthew 7:7
“Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”
November 13th, 2009 at 2:52 am
I’ve never understood why some people believe that Science! and G-d cannot co-exist. Science! is just our easter egg hunt of understanding.
Or something.