The New Apocalypse

Posted on November 18, 2009 3:01 pm

Hugo Chavez is teaming with Cubans to bomb clouds. The Chinese did something similar to get their first snow fall. Added to this, it’s an actual scientific theory that time-traveling birds are sabotaging the Large Hadron Collider. So basically we have Communists controlling the weather and time-traveling birds sabotaging our equipment. It kinda looks like we’re headed towards some sort of apocalypse scenario that science fiction authors never predicted — one that doesn’t involve apes or robots.

So heads up.

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17 Responses to “The New Apocalypse”

  1. MarkoMancuso says:

    An Eastern Bluebird sneered at me yesterday.

  2. Rickur says:

    Watch out for the Robert Byrds. They pop up once in while and have done so for the past 100 years!

  3. Nunya says:

    one that doesn’t involve apes or robots

    Ah, but there’s always the possibility of robotic apes!

  4. Merlin says:

    I have a plan to bomb clouds over DC with time traveling birds. We cause 40 days and nights of rain and all the pols are washed out to sea to drown; good for the country and we can never be convicted!! Since our children send them from the future they can’t be charged with a crime that occurred before they were born! Brillance!!

  5. Plentyobailouts says:

    What the story didn’t tell you was that yugo chevez borrowed the entire cuban airforce. Both crop duster are flyable but the dc1 will have to be towed to get it airborne.
    I found it ironic that a hippie commands his minions to take 3 minute showers. Like they are in there that long.

    But don’t melting icecaps make water?

    Uh huh, communism good, capitalism bad.

  6. Krispy says:

    China controlling the weather. Time traveling birds. The world has turned into a godamn Kurt Vonnegut novel.

  7. razed by mice says:

    The “reverse causal chain” of this experiment trained a bird to bomb baguettes on the collider?

    More fine stuff brought to you by the liberal media “elite.”

  8. DamnCat says:

    Hugo Chavez is teaming with Cubans to bomb clouds.

    Oh noes! The commies can blow holes in steam.

    Obama surrenders in 3, 2, 1 …

  9. MDr says:

    Railguns? Isn’t that what the Dims are going to “ride” out of town, appropriately attired in tar & feathers? Feathers? Time-traveling birds? A cosmic confluence?

  10. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    Never mind all that boring stuff, we now have metal that withstands million degree heat!!

    I’m not sure how they turned it into metal in the first place since everyone knows fire doesn’t melt steel but if Al Gore says the center of the Earth is hotter than the sun, it must be true!

  11. Merlin says:

    What?! You evil rottweillers exed my post!! Exactly what did I do wrong here??

  12. Basil says:

    I’m wondering if the time-travelling birds were actually trying to stop the commies from messing with the weather.

    The weather matters more to birds than does the LHC. But, I’m thinking the birds missed their target. I mean, they’re birds. They forgot to account for the rotation of the earth, and ended up bombing the LHC instead of the weather commies.

    Stupid birds.

  13. txlewis says:

    bwahahaha up is down and left is wrong.

  14. ussjimmycarter says:

    I knew it! Higgs bosson has finally snapped and this is only the beginning!

  15. nightfly says:

    I’ve never been much of a praying man, but…. Doctor Who, save us!

  16. Son of Bob says:

    “Hugo Chavez is teaming with Cubans to bomb clouds.”

    Obama immediately apologized to both Chavez and Castro for the existence of the clouds, stating that the clouds were a result of selfish, arrogant Americans.

  17. 4 of 7 says:

    Rev. 16:21
    “and great hailstones, heavy as a hundredweight, dropped on men from heaven, till men cursed God for the plague of the hail, so fearful was the plague.”

    Dang Chinese! They screw with the clouds and God gets the blame!

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