Frank Advice for Life
If a UFO lands in front of you and aliens come out and demand, “Take me to your leader!” immediately respond with, “I’m not a frick’n taxi service!” and then ignore them. With aliens, the same as with dogs, you need to assert your dominance.
(20 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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December 7th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
But what if you actually are a taxi driver?
December 7th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
Overcharge them. They probably aren’t aware of the local exchange rate. They also probably will lack the social savvy to realize that the old homeless guy on the corner claiming to be emperor is not actually the emperor, so after driving them around the block a few times you can slip him a fiver to watch after them.
December 7th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Okay, so what if they ask politely?
Being an evil right-winger, who would I bring them to?
Palin would probably shoot them from a helicopter.
They’re most likely illegal aliens, I’m not bringing them anywhere near Teh Fred.
That leaves Rush Limbaugh, right?
December 7th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Teh One would bow an surrender to the aliens all while having a bucket stuck on his head.
December 7th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
“Take me to your leader!”
“We don’t have one. I’m taking you to Boise and letting Frank J. deal with you.”
If it turns out they’re hippie aliens, Frank will know what to do. If not, just think of the technology!
December 7th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
I’d tell them to get in and drive them to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue so fast, their space ship would look like a covered wagon with a broken wheel.
December 7th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Alien: “Take me to your leader!”
DamnCat: “Frank J.? He’s in Idaho, you’re way off course, man.”
December 7th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
don’t bring them to Frank, he lived too close to me!
December 7th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
*lives*
December 7th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
It’s a wonderful life, George Bailey!
Is it Friday yet?
December 7th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Frank, I would not turn mu back on them Aliens. They mighr be from the seventh planet, and Barney Frank is from there. “Nuff said.
Of course, you could introduce them to squirrels and decieve the Aliens into believing the furry varmints are the dominant species. The Aliens would declare war on them, and zap or abduct the squirrels. A good win for us al
Of course, we could replace squirrels with liberals. That would work, too.
December 7th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
First I would take them to the annoying guy next door, just in case their plan is to kill the leader. If that turns out to be the case, I’d take them to the UN. If their plan is peace, I’d have to tell them I am the leader of earth then use their technology to become the leader of earth.
December 7th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
You forgot, “…and take a picture with them, with the UFO in the background, ‘cuz you know that your wife/GF won’t believe you were abducted by Aliens.”
December 7th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
I usually just shoot them in the face with a shotgun and sell the video of the autopsy.
December 7th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
I’d take them to an Obambi address to Congress and pray “Mars Attacks” wasn’t fiction.
December 7th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
Yeah, in that line, the grandma laughs and says “They blew up Congress.” It made the movie, imo.
Of course, we could always send them to Fred!
December 8th, 2009 at 1:25 am
I would take them to my ladder. I would proudly show them how shiny it is and all its splendiferous features. Any attempt on their part to clear up the “confusion” would be unsuccessful.
December 8th, 2009 at 2:52 am
http://www.alarabiya.net/articles/2009/12/07/93422.html
The United States rocks harder than their Mahdi. I am surprised they didn’t blame Israel.
December 8th, 2009 at 7:17 am
“Take me to your leader” is a statement that only a dirty hippy would make! Liberals worry about who their leaders are…conservatives don’t care! Punch the alien in his dumb alien hippy face!
December 8th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
MDr, you’re thinking too small. Take them to a State of the Union Address. That’ll solve a TON of issues in one fell swoop.
December 9th, 2009 at 6:00 am
I’d tell them that I was their leader, and that they had to make an appointment. They’d have to see my secretary, Miss Helen Waite.
December 9th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
We don’t have a leader!