Frank Advice for Life
They say don’t bring a knife to a gun fight, but I do. Then everyone is like, “Look at the stupid dummy who brought a knife when we all have guns! What a lame-o!” Then POW! …I shoot them all with the gun hidden in the knife’s handle. NOW WHO’S STUPID?!!!
(30 votes, average: 4.87 out of 5)
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December 16th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Heck, you’ve got to have something on hand once everyone runs out of bullets. A sword works better than a knife, though, especially when dealing with the minions of evil in a post-apocalyptic horror.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
PERHAPS IT IS THE MAN WHO ONLY HAS AS MANY BULLETS AS FIT IN THE HANDLE OF A KNIFE
December 16th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
NOW WHO’S STUPID?!!!
Perhaps it is the guy who shows up BEFORE they have all killed each other?
December 16th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
That is a brilliant plan, but it lacks your normal grace.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
I have found that the sponsers of a fight rarely advertise the exact nature before the contest…. therefore I always bring a gun & a knife.. & another gun.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
sometimes it’s good to bring a gun that shoots knifes.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
or better yet take a Taurus Judge
http://www.taurususa.com/product-details.cfm?id=201&category=Revolver&toggle=&breadcrumbseries=
December 16th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Give money for Rand Paul’s Tea Party bomb!
http://randpaulgraphs.com
December 16th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Guns don’t kill people, good aim and lots of practice does. If that doesn’t work, use a knife.
December 16th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Don’t know that I agree with your hypothesis. Everyone that I’ve known who took a knife to a gun fight are now refered to as….’the late’.
December 16th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Who’s stupid?
You’re stupid, Frank. I’d even go as far as calling you asinine.
Why bring a knife WHEN YOU CAN NUKE THEM FROM ORBIT???
December 16th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
TerribleTroy has it right. Bring a knife AND a gun. Then you’re always properly dressed for the fight. And what happens if you drop a knife or a gun? Wouldn’t it be a good idea to have a spare? Hmmmmm?
December 16th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
First of all knife handles are not that big and they aren’t hollow so this whole plan may need a re-think
December 16th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Bring the IMAO T-Shirt Babe to a gunfight. I bet she believes in superior firepower.
December 16th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
what worse than bringing a knife to a gun fight, bringing a knife to a nuke fight.
December 16th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
The best thing to do is make sure that if there’s a knife fight, totally bring a gun. Suckers.
December 16th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
Maybe it’s just me, but I usually don’t attend planned gun fights.
December 16th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
Who needs guns and knives when I’ve got the ACME company to supply my needs. Rocket rollerskates, refrigerator fans that blow out snow…stop me if I’m wrong.
December 16th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
And once again, you’ve blared my plan to the world.
It wasn’t easy coming up with a Plan “B” when you told everybody about my exploding trunk, but I did.
It came to me when I saw the pistol bayonet. I thought, “Heh, I can bring a gun and a knive to a gun fight”)
So next time, when you think of a trick plan (like oh, a knife-gun or a buried, exploding trunk) keep it to yourself.
December 16th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
I always bring more than one gun.
Knifes let people get too close. I prefer that people “keep their distance”.
December 16th, 2009 at 9:26 pm
But is it okay to bring a gun to a knife fight? Just curious.
December 16th, 2009 at 11:03 pm
Never bring a spoon to a knife fight.
In the 17th century no gentleman went out without a ornate but functional sword or dagger at his side. What sort of modern weaponry would be most appropriate to wear with modern formal wear? Pistol in a shoulder holster, spring-loaded sleeve gun, or elegantly engraved auto-12 in a sling? You never know when you might get invited to a Whitehouse party or something.
December 16th, 2009 at 11:04 pm
Never bring a spoon to a knife fight.
In the 17th century no gentleman went out without a ornate but functional sword or dagger at his side. What sort of modern weaponry would be most appropriate to wear with modern formal wear? Pistol in a shoulder holster, spring-loaded sleeve gun, or elegantly engraved auto-12 in a sling? You never know when you might get invited to a Whitehouse party or something.
(oops! I typed in my e-mail address wrong!)
December 16th, 2009 at 11:34 pm
One of my dad’s good friends is a knifemaker. He actually made a knife that can shoot a .22 bullet from the handle. I got to fire it once. It was awesome!
December 17th, 2009 at 12:09 am
What about attack dogs? Can you bring an attack dog to a knife fight?
December 17th, 2009 at 12:12 am
What about surplus Russian nuclear missile submarines? Can you bring a surplus Russian nuclear missile submarine to a knife fight?
December 17th, 2009 at 12:34 am
Bring a radio…call in TAC Air and Div Arty
December 17th, 2009 at 12:41 am
“POW!” ??? Is this a Batman reference?
December 17th, 2009 at 2:07 am
Personally, when attending a fight, I prefer to bring a laser sword with guns on it that shoot other swords. Oh yes, and I generally ride a burning flying shark. However, I’ve found the best way to fight flying ninjas is to hit them with angry bears that are on fire. This movie taught me everything I know about fighting.
December 17th, 2009 at 7:10 am
I would bring the IMAO Tee shirt babe because then the reason for the fight would be a distant mammary. Excuse me, I mean memory.
December 17th, 2009 at 8:03 am
I always have Yoko Ono slither her way in front of me to draw enemy fire or knife thrusts. Yoko Ono, wearing a McCain ’08 T-shirt. And posting to her twitter thingie. In bad parts of town and passing through Boise she has to get naked and sing Give Peace A Chance to make me feel really safe.
December 17th, 2009 at 8:51 am
run out of ammo………..NEVER !!!!!!!!!!!!
Although a radio to call in the Dick Cheney Death Squad Rocket-Mounted Dynosaurs would be handy.
December 17th, 2009 at 9:11 am
never bring a spork to a knife fight, or a gun fight for that matter.
December 17th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
My 4 year old grandson said always have a gun in case somebody tries to steal your chickens. I would bring Oh Bummer becuz his inanities would put all the gun slingers to sleep and then you can cut their throats with your Swiss army knife.
December 18th, 2009 at 3:11 am
Thee thing to bring is a fountain pen gun. Then, offer to autograph the guy’s shirt. Walk up to him, put the pen against his shirt, and pull the trigger. You can’t miss.
December 18th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
I’d rather bring a tank to a knife fight. Not only will the steel hull blunt every knife known to exist, I just love the squishing sound you get when you run the knife wielding “assailant” over with the tank thread. Yeah, the screaming in pain part when you drive the tank over his legs is peachy keen too.