Frank (all praise be upon him) has asked me to post here again temporarily while he stumbles about in his typical post-Christmas drunken stupor, pummeling hippies and monkeys with the brand new set of Elin Nordegren* golf clubs he received from Santa.

Since I haven’t had time to prepare any original material yet, I figured I’d do the typical lazy blogger bit and just post some links to worthwhile stuff from elsewhere on the web to hold your interest so you don’t get depressed by the lack of posts here of late, give up on the site and stop reading IMAO, choosing, instead, to start spending your time doing more constructive things, thus costing Frank valuable zombies from his Internet Army and causing him to suffer a major setback in his plans for world domination.

First up, if you haven’t seen it yet, go read Iowahawk’s new take on a cherished Christmas classic, It’s A Wonderful Bill

Here’s a taste to whet your appetite, my little ginger snaps:

Scene 15: A bridge outside Bedford Falls. George, breathless, peers dead-eyed into the icy river 100 feet below.

GEORGE BAILEY
I… I wish I was never elected!

George swings his leg over the side of the bridge, but he is tackled by a kindly old stranger

CLARENCE
Phew, that was a close one, George. I thought for sure you were a goner!

GEORGE BAILEY
Who… who are you? How did you know my name?

CLARENCE
Well that’s a mighty interesting question, Senator Bailey. I guess you could say… well, let’s say I’m sort of your protector. Clarence is the name. Clarence Odbody.

GEORGE BAILEY
You mean some kind of guardian angel? From heaven?

CLARENCE
Yessir, straight from lobbyist row on K Street. But I’m not an official angel as yet. Before I can earn my wings I have to stop you from this fool idea of yours. Honestly, George — political suicide? It’s just plain sinful.

GEORGE BAILEY
Did you see that crowd? Have you seen my approval ratings? This town would have been better off if I had never been elected.

CLARENCE
Stop saying such a thing! Do you really feel that way George?

GEORGE BAILEY
I, I, I, I… yeah! Well, see, yeah! See.

CLARENCE
Alright George, I’ll grant you your wish. But you may not like what you see.

Go and read the rest, you’ll thank me later.

More links to come. And, if you’re really, really good, maybe I’ll whip up something original while I’m here, too!

Merry (belated) Christmas, you wonderful old building-and-loans and Happy New Year to you all… in jail! Go on home, they’re waiting for you!

[*Edited 12/29/09 11:15pm cst to correct an error. Thank you, BadgerHawk!]

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