Obama Blames “Right Wing Extremists” for Failed Terror Attack

Posted on December 30, 2009 2:56 pm

KAILUA, HAWAII (AP) – Taking a break from his Hawaiian vacation, President Obama addressed the issue of the failed airliner bombing attempt over Detroit by saying that “right wing extremists” were to blame.

Obama vows to protect ‘freedom of ignition’ for Muslims

“As Department of Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano pointed out,” said Obama, “the system works. As President, I’ve done everything in my power to support and encourage ‘man-caused disaster’ attacks on American soil – from not using the ‘T’ word, to treating alleged violent attacks by people of certain religions as criminal nuisances. Judging by the Christmas incident in Detroit, I’d give the system a good, solid B+.”

“Unfortunately,” continued the President, “a right-wing extremist interfered with Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab’s freedom to exercise his religion, and prevented him from fully expressing his opinion about America’s recent vicious attacks on the peaceful land of Yemen. Let me be clear – this sort of repression of universal rights will not be tolerated by this administration. We won’t put up with it from Fox News, and we sure as hell won’t put up with it from some stinking Dutchman. Rest assured that Jasper Schuringa will be held securely in the Guantanamo Bay detention facility pending an appearance before a full military tribunal.”

Under new directives ordered by the Obama administration in the wake of the tragically failed attack, passengers on US domestic and international flights will be prohibited from having pillows, blankets, or “any other material or device” which might be used to put out a fire and interfere with an “enthusiastic expression of political opinion or zealous religious activity”.

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14 Responses to “Obama Blames “Right Wing Extremists” for Failed Terror Attack”

  1. Larsinkima says:

    In the future I’m sure he will place agents from Interpol on all flights to stop these crazy Americans from interfering.

  2. Slaphappy says:

    Umar roasted his chestnuts on an open fire (come on – it’s Christmas fer Christ’s sake!)…now he’s in the hospital getting the best health care in the world! His new nuts will be ping-pong balls…don’t know what they’re gonna do ’bout that vienna sausage disaster he has goin’ on there…maybe use his big toe as a replacement?

  3. DeckApe says:

    Thought I was in the editorial section of the New York Times, there for a minute.

  4. MarkoMancuso says:

    I like Obama’s way of punishing people. “Nobody expects a deportation to Yemen!”

    That poor Dutchman. His body won’t survive in that climate.

  5. Romp says:

    Just wait for it. Next we are going to hear about “lives saved or created” from Obama’s US security plans.

  6. bill says:

    It’s sometimes hard to tell the true from the false. I half believed this.

    I totally believe that this is the way he thinks even if he wouldn’t come out and say it directly.

    The guy’s a goofball.

  7. zzyzx says:

    This speech was obviously not made by Obama….he would have never used the word ”hell” it’s too politically incorrect.

  8. shiggz says:

    Putting Liberals in charge of national security is like getting a cat for home security. At most you’ll get some passive aggressive days later poop in the shoe of you the owner and victim.

    I dont care much for republicans but they take their duty as guard dog seriously. Even if they are prone to barking at nearby strangers on the border of your home and occasionally bite hippies. But when danger strikes that dog will sacrifice himself defending that home and his family/owner.

  9. shiggz says:

    @ romp
    Maybe they will use the same math like they do on the stimulus, e.g. 3k killed on 9/11 but 20k babies born so 17k lives created or saved.

  10. Tim S says:

    Are you sure this is a fake story? With Barry Hussein’s track record, it sounds utterly believable.

  11. Son of Bob says:

    So sad, Barack Hussein had already bought bags of candy to hand out to children in the street while celebrating the latest terrorist attack on the infidels.

  12. 4of7 says:

    The ACLU dropped the ball today.
    They issued a statement that the full-body X-ray scanners the Dutch said they’re going to install in their airports, which would have detected the underwear bomb before the bomber had a chance to bar-b-Q his junk, would be an unconstitutional invasion of personal privacy and they (the ACLU) will fight to prevent them being installed at US airports.
    From their sick point of view it would have been much more fun to let the equipment be installed (at great expense, no doubt) and THEN sue to have them all removed.

  13. storm1911 says:

    C-mon, give Teh One a break. There he is, vacationing at his madrassa, er, I mean $4000.00 a night rental in Hawaii, and this evil Dutchman actually had the temrity to stop the attack and interupt BHO’s b-ball run. Oh the nerve!!

  14. seanmahair says:

    “Help, help I’m being repressed. See the violence inherent in the system” – Monty Python.

    Life imitating art. Sigh.

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