Should We Replace Obama with a Cardboard Cutout?

Posted on December 11, 2009 1:04 pm

When Obama didn’t show up at an event in Norway, they used a cardboard cutout of him instead. That got me thinking: What an awesome idea! Maybe we should replace our Obama with a cardboard cutout.

Let’s weigh the advantages and disadvantages:

* Less deleterious to bipartisanship.
* Would not seek out new spending.
* Would not bow to foreign leaders (if weighted down against wind).
* Does just as much as real Obama to earn a Nobel Peace Prize.
* Does not have radical friends.
* Just as charismatic and inspirational as real Obama.
* Will not walk into doors and windows.
* Doesn’t talk about self all the time.
* As concerned about the economy as real Obama.
* Is neutral on the issue of rough treatment of terrorists.
* As much practical experience as real Obama… even more if the cardboard was a box before becoming Obama.
* Not influenced by corrupt Chicago political practices.
* Not a socialist.
* No desire to be on TV everyday.

* Can’t read from teleprompter.
* Would actually take even longer than real Obama on important decisions like troops for Afghanistan.
* No birth certificate and even more suspicions of being born outside the country due to “Made in China” label.

Looks like it’s worth considering.

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42 Responses to “Should We Replace Obama with a Cardboard Cutout?”

  1. shiggz says:

    The cardboard would probably hold up even better then the real Obama in super scary scenarios such as rain with wind and lightening.

  2. Plentyobailouts says:

    I would be willing to put up with the disadvantages, just to have the non-commie cutout, not to hear it talk constantly, and not have to see it on a regular basis.
    Even though it can’t read from a teleprompter, it would have the same substance in its speeches.

  3. MarkoMancuso says:

    This is interesting, Frank. However, I hold the opinion that my German Shepherd would be a marked improvement compared to a cardboard cutout.

    * She’s 5, which is what, 40? in human years. Young and vibrant.
    * Her parents were immigrants. Multi-cultural.
    * Loud barking useful at United Nations, akin to Nikita’s shoe pounding.
    * Is very concerned about economy. Bad economy leads to less money, which leads to lower quality dog food.
    * Hates cats.
    * Doesn’t need Secret Service as criminals are known to be afraid of dogs.
    * Quickly evaluates threats. “Does the subject threaten my owner? If yes, bite. If no, beg for treats from friendly stranger.”

    * Probably hates black people.

  4. Crusty says:

    You could have titled this article “Six or Half-A-Dozen?”

  5. Jimmy says:

    We’re not getting any work done anyway. It’s Friday!

    * Won’t shake hands with dictators.
    * Doesn’t eat waffles.
    * Corrugated for strength!
    * Very quiet – no preachy ghetto pulpit tonality.
    * No broken campaign promises.
    * Can be burned in my airtight when I get tired of looking at him.

  6. MarkoMancuso says:

    * Can’t bow to a dictator or anyone else.
    * Can be used as an advertisement in McDonald’s restaurants, boosting the economy.

  7. MarkoMancuso says:

    Jimmy, what do you have against waffles??

  8. MarkoMancuso says:

    * Can’t bow to a dictator or anyone else.

    Sorry, Frank. Missed this one in your post.

  9. Jimmy says:

    Nuthin, Marko. But I use a 100 year-old waffle recipe and the cardboard doesn’t!


    * He’s biodegradable!
    * No sh!t

  10. MarkoMancuso says:

    * A moustache could be painted on the cutout, making it “cool” as the kids say. Obama, as he is teh ghey, is incapable of growing a moustache.

  11. MarkoMancuso says:

    * A cardboard cutout would show more respect to veterans of the United States armed forces.

  12. MikeLL says:

    * Much easier to draw a Hitler mustache on it.

    * Makes a great dart board.

  13. MikeLL says:

    Amazon is selling the Obama lifesize cutout for $49.99. I think I’ll send one to Frank for Christmas.

    You can get one of Michelle too, but it is only $26. Hmmm. . . sexism?

  14. Silicon Valley Jim says:

    More advantages:

    * Doesn’t whine about Republicans, FOX news, etc.
    * Hasn’t yet gotten its head stuck in a bucket

  15. MoogieP says:

    * You can dress him up in off-the-rack, or even homemade, paper-doll outfits that have the little tabs you flip over to secure the outfit. Come to think of it, that would be a much better idea for Michelle.

  16. shiggz says:

    Half price for the black female? Uh-oh! Obviously racism and sexism and maybe ageism is she younger then him by a few months? Either way he is half-white and male and his costs twice as much. I have presented this as fact and you are all Nazi’s if you disagree.

  17. MikeLL says:

    * Almost as funny looking as Frank’s stick figure drawings of Obama.

  18. FormerHostage says:

    Advantage: Can replace Joe Biden with Flat Stanley

    Disadvantage: Just like cake, can’t be left out in the rain.

  19. sgtgizmo says:

    ~More depth than the actual BO
    ~Won’t melt under heated resistance, but will spontaneously combust at 451F.
    ~Don’t need AirForce One, just put him in a big envelope (Good for the environment)

    ~Just as fragile as the actual BO
    ~Cigarettes burn multiple holes in its mouth
    ~Has to be careful which way the winds are blowing. (Guess that is really a wash!)

  20. T.N. Amaps says:

    * Has a better health-care plan.
    * Only slightly worse at bowling.

  21. IH8Socialist says:

    Could we replace Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi with carboard cutouts too. Oh and the rest of congresscritters why we’re at it.

  22. Plentyobailouts says:

    Mike LL: You can get one of Michelle too, but it is only $26. Hmmm. . . sexism?

    you say Amazon actually has them? Wow what kind of degenerate woiuld buy a likeness of that disgrace?

    I am surprised, cause usually a wookie doll is higher, twice as much material.

  23. rayfan87 says:

    With the cutout, you can put a box on the back to make it speak, then chage the recording on the box, whereas Obama keeps repeating the same garbage everytime he gets in front of a camera.

  24. storm1911 says:

    I,Q, Advantage cutout

    Depth of charachter Advantage cutout

    wlts undermpressu=re Advantage Obama

  25. MikeLL says:

    you say Amazon actually has them? Wow what kind of degenerate woiuld buy a likeness of that disgrace?

    I dunno. I followed the ad link from the left sidebar. Turns out, you can get all sorts of cardboard cutouts. LOL.

    Want some Jonas brothers life size? Haha!

  26. seanmahair says:

    You mean he isn’t a cardboard cut out? When did they replace the cardboard cut out with a moronic half wit with delusions of relevancy?

    I’ve got to pay better attention.

  27. island girl says:

    As a cardboard cutout, Obama will be unable to crane his neck at passing derriers.

  28. Ernie Loco says:

    Great list and great comments, people. I’ve got nothing to add. (Cause I’m supposed to be working…)

  29. Corona says:

    I’d rather we replace Obama with a brick suspended by a string. Gravity does more rational work than Obama.

  30. zzyzx says:

    I would suggest not getting a cardboard cutout made in China. The reason for this suggestion is because everything we get from them turns out to be made from toxic materials, and/or is poisonous, or is covered in lead based paint, or is just plain shoddy and cheaply made. It’s a little known fact, but our good neighbor to the north, Canada is called by many….the cardboard cutout capitol of the world! A quality union made cardboard cutout from Canada would be far superior to a cheap, possibly dangerous imitation imported from China.

  31. Jimmy says:

    As testimony to Obama’s relevance, perhaps our really smart Congress should pass a law requiring his image be placed on every billboard, newspaper, TV program, web site and feeding trough in America with the caption, “Our Leader.” This would overcome our national short-term memory disorder and provide soothing stability for future generations.

  32. Krispy says:

    Well, according to that genius Will Smith, the Peace Prize wasn’t so much given to Obama himself as to the idea of Obama. So maybe we don’t even need a cardboard cutout. Maybe we just need the idea of a cardboard cutout?

  33. George says:

    This link was posted on Drudge about an announcer in a London rail station suggesting people to shoot themselves. The blog has turned into a right/left fight fest…interesting read

  34. IH8Socialist says:

    how bout a Cardboard Cutout of the U.N. why we’re at it.

  35. Sgt Relic says:

    It can be recycled into something useful!

  36. ss396 says:

    * Does not have radical friends.

    I guess you’ve never tried to help the kids with their elementary school projects. Cardboard most certainly DOES have radical friends.

  37. KnitterChick says:

    I’m pretty sure you mean Dear Leader, Jimmy.

  38. Should We Replace the Real Obama | Little Miss Attila links:

    […] . . . with a cardboard cutout? Hm. […]

  39. Browncoatone says:

    Why stop there? While you’re at it, get cardboard cutouts for those jerks in congress too.

  40. savethepenguinsdad says:

    We should replace him with a cardboard cut-out. No one disputes that. The question is can we replace him with one?

  41. ROBIN RANSOM says:

    The cardboard cut-out advantages continues to stack up!

    1. His taxpayer paid salary, lifetime pension and secret service could be used to pay off a portion of the debt he has buried same said taxpayers in.

    2. The possibilty of adding Pelosi, Reid, Boxer, and the rest of the leftwing jackasses taxpayer paid salaries and pensions to the list and reducing our deficit and dependancy on foreign money. This is a HUGE benefit that would pay us in spades for years to come.

    3. Continuing in this form, all of the Czars would be so much more fun as cardboard cutouts…Bonfires, insulation, floor covering…and very green!

  42. Steynite 402rd « Free Canuckistan! links:

    […] TEH FUNNY VIA IMAO– Grading Obama’s First Year; Should We Replace Obama with a Cardboard Cutout?; Lies Told About Obama …. […]

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