Should We Replace Obama with a Cardboard Cutout?

When Obama didn’t show up at an event in Norway, they used a cardboard cutout of him instead. That got me thinking: What an awesome idea! Maybe we should replace our Obama with a cardboard cutout.

Let’s weigh the advantages and disadvantages:

ADVANTAGES OF CARDBOARD CUTOUT OBAMA
* Less deleterious to bipartisanship.
* Would not seek out new spending.
* Would not bow to foreign leaders (if weighted down against wind).
* Does just as much as real Obama to earn a Nobel Peace Prize.
* Does not have radical friends.
* Just as charismatic and inspirational as real Obama.
* Will not walk into doors and windows.
* Doesn’t talk about self all the time.
* As concerned about the economy as real Obama.
* Is neutral on the issue of rough treatment of terrorists.
* As much practical experience as real Obama… even more if the cardboard was a box before becoming Obama.
* Not influenced by corrupt Chicago political practices.
* Not a socialist.
* No desire to be on TV everyday.

DISADVANTAGES OF CARDBOARD CUTOUT OBAMA
* Can’t read from teleprompter.
* Would actually take even longer than real Obama on important decisions like troops for Afghanistan.
* No birth certificate and even more suspicions of being born outside the country due to “Made in China” label.

Looks like it’s worth considering.

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42 Comments

  1. The cardboard would probably hold up even better then the real Obama in super scary scenarios such as rain with wind and lightening.

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  2. I would be willing to put up with the disadvantages, just to have the non-commie cutout, not to hear it talk constantly, and not have to see it on a regular basis.
    Even though it can’t read from a teleprompter, it would have the same substance in its speeches.

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  3. This is interesting, Frank. However, I hold the opinion that my German Shepherd would be a marked improvement compared to a cardboard cutout.

    ADVANTAGES OF MY GERMAN SHEPHERD:
    * She’s 5, which is what, 40? in human years. Young and vibrant.
    * Her parents were immigrants. Multi-cultural.
    * Loud barking useful at United Nations, akin to Nikita’s shoe pounding.
    * Is very concerned about economy. Bad economy leads to less money, which leads to lower quality dog food.
    * Hates cats.
    * Doesn’t need Secret Service as criminals are known to be afraid of dogs.
    * Quickly evaluates threats. “Does the subject threaten my owner? If yes, bite. If no, beg for treats from friendly stranger.”

    DISADVANTAGES:
    * Probably hates black people.

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  4. We’re not getting any work done anyway. It’s Friday!

    * Won’t shake hands with dictators.
    * Doesn’t eat waffles.
    * Corrugated for strength!
    * Very quiet – no preachy ghetto pulpit tonality.
    * No broken campaign promises.
    * Can be burned in my airtight when I get tired of looking at him.

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  5. * Can’t bow to a dictator or anyone else.
    * Can be used as an advertisement in McDonald’s restaurants, boosting the economy.

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  6. Nuthin, Marko. But I use a 100 year-old waffle recipe and the cardboard doesn’t!

    More:

    * He’s biodegradable!
    * No sh!t

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  7. * A moustache could be painted on the cutout, making it “cool” as the kids say. Obama, as he is teh ghey, is incapable of growing a moustache.

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  8. Amazon is selling the Obama lifesize cutout for $49.99. I think I’ll send one to Frank for Christmas.

    You can get one of Michelle too, but it is only $26. Hmmm. . . sexism?

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  9. More advantages:

    * Doesn’t whine about Republicans, FOX news, etc.
    * Hasn’t yet gotten its head stuck in a bucket

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  10. * You can dress him up in off-the-rack, or even homemade, paper-doll outfits that have the little tabs you flip over to secure the outfit. Come to think of it, that would be a much better idea for Michelle.

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  11. Half price for the black female? Uh-oh! Obviously racism and sexism and maybe ageism is she younger then him by a few months? Either way he is half-white and male and his costs twice as much. I have presented this as fact and you are all Nazi’s if you disagree.

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  12. Advantage: Can replace Joe Biden with Flat Stanley

    Disadvantage: Just like cake, can’t be left out in the rain.

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  13. Pros:
    ~More depth than the actual BO
    ~Won’t melt under heated resistance, but will spontaneously combust at 451F.
    ~Don’t need AirForce One, just put him in a big envelope (Good for the environment)

    Cons:
    ~Just as fragile as the actual BO
    ~Cigarettes burn multiple holes in its mouth
    ~Has to be careful which way the winds are blowing. (Guess that is really a wash!)

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  14. Could we replace Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi with carboard cutouts too. Oh and the rest of congresscritters why we’re at it.

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  15. Mike LL: You can get one of Michelle too, but it is only $26. Hmmm. . . sexism?

    you say Amazon actually has them? Wow what kind of degenerate woiuld buy a likeness of that disgrace?

    I am surprised, cause usually a wookie doll is higher, twice as much material.

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  16. With the cutout, you can put a box on the back to make it speak, then chage the recording on the box, whereas Obama keeps repeating the same garbage everytime he gets in front of a camera.

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  17. you say Amazon actually has them? Wow what kind of degenerate woiuld buy a likeness of that disgrace?

    I dunno. I followed the ad link from the left sidebar. Turns out, you can get all sorts of cardboard cutouts. LOL.

    Want some Jonas brothers life size? Haha!

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  18. You mean he isn’t a cardboard cut out? When did they replace the cardboard cut out with a moronic half wit with delusions of relevancy?

    I’ve got to pay better attention.

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  19. Great list and great comments, people. I’ve got nothing to add. (Cause I’m supposed to be working…)

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  20. I’d rather we replace Obama with a brick suspended by a string. Gravity does more rational work than Obama.

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  21. I would suggest not getting a cardboard cutout made in China. The reason for this suggestion is because everything we get from them turns out to be made from toxic materials, and/or is poisonous, or is covered in lead based paint, or is just plain shoddy and cheaply made. It’s a little known fact, but our good neighbor to the north, Canada is called by many….the cardboard cutout capitol of the world! A quality union made cardboard cutout from Canada would be far superior to a cheap, possibly dangerous imitation imported from China.

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  22. As testimony to Obama’s relevance, perhaps our really smart Congress should pass a law requiring his image be placed on every billboard, newspaper, TV program, web site and feeding trough in America with the caption, “Our Leader.” This would overcome our national short-term memory disorder and provide soothing stability for future generations.

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  23. * Does not have radical friends.

    I guess you’ve never tried to help the kids with their elementary school projects. Cardboard most certainly DOES have radical friends.

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  24. Pingback: Should We Replace the Real Obama | Little Miss Attila

  25. We should replace him with a cardboard cut-out. No one disputes that. The question is can we replace him with one?

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  26. The cardboard cut-out advantages continues to stack up!

    1. His taxpayer paid salary, lifetime pension and secret service could be used to pay off a portion of the debt he has buried same said taxpayers in.

    2. The possibilty of adding Pelosi, Reid, Boxer, and the rest of the leftwing jackasses taxpayer paid salaries and pensions to the list and reducing our deficit and dependancy on foreign money. This is a HUGE benefit that would pay us in spades for years to come.

    3. Continuing in this form, all of the Czars would be so much more fun as cardboard cutouts…Bonfires, insulation, floor covering…and very green!

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