Top Ten Accomplishments of Harry Reid as Majority Leader
Harry Reid (I’m sure it’s been said before, but it bears repeating: that’s an awful, awful porn name) compared opponents of Obamacare to opponents of the abolition of slavery (didn’t slaves get free health care?). Harry Reid hasn’t exactly made many friends as Majority Leader in the Senate and looks to be having a tough reelection fight in 2010. It makes one wonder exactly what he has accomplished as Majority Leader. Well, here’s a list of his top ten accomplishments:
TOP TEN ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF HARRY REID AS MAJORITY LEADER
10. Got a bi-partisan group of Republicans and Democrats to request that he use less aftershave.
9. Got lost in a coat closet.
8. Ranted on C-SPAN about how everyone in D.C. smells.
7. Forgot his pants on thirty-two separate occasions.
6. Was repeatedly warned not to bite children touring the Capitol.
5. Started a filibuster that didn’t end until he was removed by security from the express lane at the Piggly Wiggly.
4. Has angrily shaken his fist more than any other Majority Leader.
3. Has on repeated occasions responded to questions about Nevada with really confused looks.
2. Wrote an intergalactic defense bill after being startled by a helicopter.
And the number one accomplishment of Harry Reid while majority leader…
Forced a bill through the senate telling kids to stay off his lawn.
(20 votes, average: 4.65 out of 5)
Loading ...
December 8th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Failed at trying to change the State of Nevada’s official motto to “Whores & Poker”
December 8th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
My late bowl of Wheaties is now on the floor. Thanks, Frank.
December 8th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
* Harry Reid was asked to not squeeze the Charmin.
* Had an edict passsed allowing Senate leaders to drive around with the left turn blinker on.
December 8th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
11.has the privlage of being the first senate majority leader to serve that is totally senial.
December 8th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
*Forced a resolution that he is not the reincarnation of Ross Perot.
*Tied his shoes all by himself
*Looked at nancy pelousy without turning to salt
December 8th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
* Had to have cosmetic surgery after his face got frozen on an ugly expression. But NO CHANGE!
* Was forced to eat a bowl of his own stuuupid, shredded words.
* Pulled a suppository out of his ass and discovered it was Pelosi’s hand.
* Flew home to Nevada and discovered everyone hated him – and wondered “Why?”
December 8th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
* Earned the nickname “Dirty Harry” when he is actually quite dingy.
December 8th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
* Had a tough choice between current job and Walmart greeter. Was rejected by Walmart on grounds of utter stupidity.
*Needs teleprompter to remember his name.
*Was turned down for a date with Janet Reno.
*Considers Madeline Albright a “hot babe”.
*Obviously failed American History.
*Needs daily reminder to pull fly up.
December 8th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
* Won an award for “least effective angry fist-shaking gesture.”
* Won silver medal in category “keeping a straight face while accusing other side of corruption” from the Clinton Library (Pelosi beat him for the gold)
December 8th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
Is living proof of life after death!
December 8th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
*Convinced his Caucus that Katrina was one on Tiger Woods’ paramours, not a levee-busting super storm.
Let’s fix the Reid-Pelosi-Obama problem like this: http://moogiep.blogspot.com/2009/12/moogies-fun-and-revolutionary-plan-for.html
December 8th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
* Made the Republican Caucus occasionally act like principled conservatives
December 8th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
See, that annoys me, saying my opposition to health care is the same as being for slavery.
The two are totally unrelated!
I love Democrats.
I think everybody should own one.
December 8th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
* Discovered that Nancy Pelosi was the one holding the pitchfork in their pictures together. YIKES!
December 8th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
* Thought bwarney fwank was poking him with his finger
* Stole teddy’s watch just before burial
* Put a whoopie cushion under rom the manual before a breakfast.
December 8th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
* Brought cupcakes to all the meetings.
* Never used the word “irregardless” (although he tends to overuse “per se”).
* Got Barney Frank to start washing his hands after using the loo.
December 8th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
Seriously: His best accomplishment was to prove that just because some guy is a Mormon, it doesn’t mean he isn’t a worthless slimy devious socialist leftie.
Thereby saving us from the uberRINO Mitt Romney.
We now know the trademark of Latter-Day-Saint means absolutely NOTHING with regards to moral codes!
December 8th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
No. 8 Had a tough choice between current job and Walmart greeter. Was rejected by Walmart on grounds of utter stupidity
Brillaint!! Now I have to take my keyboard home and run it through my dishwasher, again,. That is why I always keep my Bat -Anti-Imao-Double-Take- And -Spew -Coffee keyboard in my utility belt.
December 8th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
*Got his bed wetting problem down to 3 nights a week.
December 8th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
Makes Nancy Pelosi sound like a genius!
Has been having a torrid affair with Helen Thomas!
Carries a napkin…handy after his meetings with Obama!
December 8th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
In spite of his busy schedule, Senator Reid
knows how to slow it down for a bit,
and take time to stop and smell the
tourists.
Proof that Harry Reid smells.
December 8th, 2009 at 8:16 pm
To his credit he hasn’t ever been caught up in any scandals involving himself and underage Senate pages.
December 9th, 2009 at 12:45 am
And the original opponents to the abolition of slavery were who, again? Oh, that’s right; it was DEMOCRATS! So Harry’s basically comparing opponents to Obamacare his own party…
Progressive logic is so impeccable. You can’t argue with it – you really can’t.
December 9th, 2009 at 8:11 am
Also to his credit he had millions in stimulus money earmarked to build a much needed monorail from Disneyland in CA to Las Vegas NV.
December 9th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Harry Reid once reached across the aisle to support John McCain and McCain has the colostomy bag to prove it.
December 10th, 2009 at 7:36 am
Funniest posts I’ve read lately!! What great comedic talent we have here at conservative blogs. And most of them are true. Love you, Frank.
JCW
December 10th, 2009 at 8:19 am
Reid’s major accomplishment. He’s taught children everywhere that it doesn’t matter how much you, lie there are still fools and ignoramuses who will believe you and most of them are in the Democratic Party. Oh and don’t pay attention to any of those pesky facts, facts are for losers, dude.
December 10th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
Earned the nickname “Sierra Harry” when the Sierra club pronounced Reid as “The best senator money can buy”