Top Ten Easy House Votes for Next Year
Nancy Pelosi has promised Democrats there won’t be any tough votes next year after they all agree to destroy our nation’s health care. So Pelosi has scheduled for 2010 a bunch of votes that should be so unanimous that only Ron Paul would vote against them. Here’s ten of them:
TOP TEN EASY HOUSE VOTES FOR NEXT YEAR
10. A vote to not to go to war with Finland.
9. A condemnation of making vampires sparkle.
8. A vote on what is the opposite of “No”.
7. Acknowledgment of Barney Frank’s many years in the House talking funny.
6. A vote praising nachos for its many years of service as a snack.
5. A bill making the inventor of clamshell packaging an enemy of the state.
4. A vote on what one likes to receive on Christmas (idea is to see if they can get the very first vote where the entire House votes “Present”).
3. Acknowledgment of the fluffiness of kitties and puppies.
2. A vote to rate the House’s effectiveness a B+.
And the number one easy house vote for next year is…
A resolution that voting is fun!
(21 votes, average: 4.86 out of 5)
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December 17th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
A vote making Rand Paul’s birthday a national holiday.
A vote banning buckets within 100 yards of Obama.
A vote making Frank”s birthday a national holiday.
December 17th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
*a vote that Nancy Pelosi be deemed criminally insane
*a vote that Harry Reid be confined to an old folks home
December 17th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
“10. A vote to not to go to war with Finland.”
Rand Paul is calling for an all-out military assault on Finland, calling it the “right war”.
December 17th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
9. A condemnation of making vampires sparkle. – I have a suspicion that this would not be an easy vote… how many members of congress must love those sparkly vampires?
December 17th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
11. An acknowledgement. “Hey, that Captain Queeg guy is sorta crazy, isn’t he?”
December 17th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Not attacking Finland? I don’t know if that’s an easy one…
December 17th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
The vampire sparkle thing might be a tough sell since most of them are vampires and may not want the ease of identification which sparkles would surely bring.
A vote to make Wednesdays cuccumber eating day (except for those morally opposed to the consumption of cuccumbers).
A vote to make all sessions “funny hat” days.
A vote that the first 10 elected officials who show up for any session receive a complimentary nacho hat.
A vote to ensure Berkely college continues to enroll a majority of stinky hippies.
December 17th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
A resolution that we attack Finland with sparkly vampires!
December 17th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Finnish vampires *are* sparkly…it’s called frost.
December 17th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
What about Cheetos ! damn buncha racists donkeys
Finnish Girls in saunas …Duh. (make love AND war)
December 17th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
8. A vote on what is the opposite of “No”.
Politicians will NEVER agree on this.
December 17th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
I know capitan Queeg. Cap’n Queeg is friend of mine. And you sir are no…alright belay the last
voting is not fun! Finnish girls in saunas… now thats fun !
December 17th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
I think we definitely need to attack Finland right away. Isn’t that were vikings are from? If you are against a war on Finland, then you are pro-viking.
December 17th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Be it resolved: Once a presidential candidate begins eating a waffle, he/she should not be subject to questioning.
December 17th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
To have all doors and windows on the outside of the white house clearly labeled.
December 17th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
That our right to be armed with a caulking gun shall not be abridged.
December 17th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
Surely they’ll have no problem voting themselves another pay raise.
December 17th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
I’ve heard that Liberals hate nachos. The (presumed) milk in the cheese makes them cry for exploited cows and the jalepenos just make them cry. Plus they give Harry Reid diarrhea.
December 17th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
Was the clamshell packaging guy a conservative, pro-life, pro-gun veteran on the DHS list too?
December 17th, 2009 at 6:26 pm
Frank, I never knew there was a specific name for it, but the moment I read “clamshell packaging” I immediately knew what you were talking about. It’s ironic that they package knives & heavy duty scissors in them…you know, the exact item you need on the outside of the package in order to get to the inside. “IF I HAD A KNIFE I WOULDN’T HAVE BOUGHT THIS ONE!!!111!!!”
December 17th, 2009 at 6:28 pm
Blame Bush for Obama’s mistakes.
December 17th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
I am glad that “clamshell packing” thing got cleared up. I thought it was another Barney Frank
question.
December 17th, 2009 at 9:48 pm
No war with Finland? But how else will we single guys get hot European chicks with sexy accents???
December 18th, 2009 at 7:04 am
Barney Frank “talking funny”… That’s what it’s called now?
December 18th, 2009 at 8:29 am
A vote on a mass suicide pact.
December 18th, 2009 at 11:35 am
@crusty oh you mean Amnesty? Cultural suicide for sure. Physical death likely.