Languages
I was thinking about how dictionaries tell us what other languages our English words came from, but then it stops there. Where did those people get their words from? I guess if you go back far enough, language comes from someone just pointing at stuff, making random sounds, and then those become words. This of course leads to the obvious question: What the hell was the problem with the guy who came up with German?
(22 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
Loading ...
January 5th, 2010 at 4:11 pm
>>>What the hell was the problem with the guy who came up with German?
They hadn’t invented Mucinex yet.
January 5th, 2010 at 4:16 pm
german? what about the guy who invented french?!?
and just what was the first person to write french thinking? “hey… let’s add lots of letters and not really use them… awsome!”
January 5th, 2010 at 4:24 pm
To quote the lovely and talented Abbie Schutto, “All words are made up.”
I predict that within the next few years, “cromulent” will be in our dictionaries. I already use it regularly. Example: Sir, there are perfectly cromulent reasons why I am three hours late for work.
[I hope. It's one of my favorite words, and I don't know an actual word replacement for it. -Ed.]
January 5th, 2010 at 5:09 pm
I still think the guy who invented Chinese and Japanese spent the rest of his life going “no, no, I was just kidding when I said that a picture is worth a thousand words! You can’t really base a language off characters that mean literally anything even in context!”
(To be fair to the Japanese, they have at least one version of “Mr” that is used as an insult. That’s pretty badass.)
January 5th, 2010 at 5:57 pm
Hey, that’s just mean picking on the Germans like that. What did they ever do to anybody?
January 5th, 2010 at 6:39 pm
You’re only jealous, Frank, that no one knows whatever it is that “Flemings” speak. If it wasn’t for Germans, here in Central PA we wouldn’t have statements such as “Throw the cow over the fence some hay.”
Welsh, my friends, is a real language. The Welsh pretend to be speaking a demented and ridiculous accented form of English, when, in fact, they are speaking a different language. It’s ingenious!
January 5th, 2010 at 7:05 pm
Wait a tic, English is derived from low German. Let’s not be to harsh on ourselves, that’s the lefties job. My brother-in-law is Greek and came to the states when he was ten lacking a word of English. He told me that before he could speak English he couldn’t tell the difference between English and German speakers.
He claims to speak English now, but it could be Welsh.
January 5th, 2010 at 7:13 pm
Not to mention that the Welsh tend to marry their cousins and have six fingers and toes, MarkoMancuso.
Regarding German, I like this one:
“Back with the engine out.”
Aber Ich glaube Frank eine etwas verschieden Idee hattet.
January 5th, 2010 at 7:36 pm
Frank, Ich weiss dass nicht (2 s’s on the “dass” because there is no english letter for the correct German spelling…)
January 5th, 2010 at 8:03 pm
that’s easy – that would be beer.o They invented the beer. so when beer drinkers get pretty soused too and then they start shloshling and schiezting unt rund da roooomitz mee gatz moin ointz !
January 5th, 2010 at 8:28 pm
In da middle ages they used pitch und ox bile und snake root makes for voonderfelt intoxicatshunt
January 5th, 2010 at 8:36 pm
Ein Augenblick, bitte! Das Beer is sehr gut in die Beergarten zu haben! Aber, Sie müssen nicht sich im Kopf schlagen – mit Ihrem Glas – wissen Sie das?
Und you vill like it.
January 5th, 2010 at 9:18 pm
The guy who came up with German was a cave man. The people around the Germans turned it into languages that sound less like a combination of sneezes and dry heaves…then later most of them surrendered to the cave men.
January 5th, 2010 at 10:50 pm
Ihc ca un vondelingjeta maken. That’s the only Nederlander I know, and it’s horribly transcribed. It means “I’m taking a short walk.” ‘J’ is pronounced ‘Y’. Like “LL” is pronounced ‘Y’ in Mexico and ‘J’ is pronounced ‘H’. La Jolla isn’t made fun of for the fun of it. They just deserve it.
January 5th, 2010 at 11:15 pm
Germany has always been an army looking for a country. Soooo, there should be little surprise if they
sound like Marines counting cadence, Or hippies forced to chew Redman.
January 5th, 2010 at 11:24 pm
The guy who made up German was angry and wanted to make everybody else angry and realized that the best way to do that was to invent a language that would make you angrier and angrier the more you spoke it.
Now, what about the invention of those Middle Eastern languages where you have to be completely full of phlegm to say certain words? Or do I have too much chutzpah to spit out an idea like that?
January 5th, 2010 at 11:33 pm
Shortly after canines were domesticated an ancient saw one take a poop and exclaimed, “Olbermann!” Today, the word Olbermann means…well…the same thing.
January 6th, 2010 at 12:27 am
“Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.”
- Mark Twain, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, 1889.
January 6th, 2010 at 8:34 am
So very off the subject, sorry but this is important. If you want to send a message to Congress about this new round of back room deals this might be a good way to do it. Send them a message even Congress can understand.
I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is called a disgrace; that two are called a law firm, and that three or more become a Congress! And by God, I have had this Congress!-John Adams in the movie 1776. Life imitating art, again.
January 6th, 2010 at 11:25 am
Why do the French assign gender to every word? I mean, what does it matter, the French are all bisexual anyway?
January 6th, 2010 at 1:27 pm
Ever wonder why …
if you’re from Wales, you’re Welsh, so if you’re from Belgium, you should be Belch.
Belgium really has a hard time with languages, because one is either a Fleming or a Walloon, both of which sound like varieties of lung butter.
Seriously, German (especially in the south) is a far gentler-sounding language than: Dutch, Swiss (which they think is German), Irish, Arabic, drunken French, Klingon, Na’vi, Orkish, or Kiswahili.
January 6th, 2010 at 9:24 pm
#19 – Seanmahair,
I signed the petition. Thanks for the link.
You’re my hero!
January 7th, 2010 at 9:22 pm
Ich wurde meine Fallschirmjaegersomaundopaangerufenerverruktetanteisstnurmarmeladeimmittelnachthoseputzendampfmaschine reparieren!
“German is one of the few languages whose words have perspective.”–Mark Twain