Douche Pandas
Don’t know if you’ve been checking out Jim Treacher’s new blog, The DC Trawler, but the guy does not like pandas. You can rail against pandas all you want, though, and they’ll just sit there eating bamboo and eventually look up at you and be like, “You say something?” And they know you said something and are just saying that to piss you off further.
Gah! I hate pandas too!
(14 votes, average: 4.79 out of 5)
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February 1st, 2010 at 3:08 pm
I read somewhere that they are not bears at all, but giant scary evil monkeys.
February 1st, 2010 at 3:21 pm
Panda Bears are a sad parallel with the tragedy of modern Japanese society.
On a more serious note Baby panda if sufficiently clubbed the meat can get much too tender and juicy to eat properly with chop-sticks. When eating pulverized baby-panda a fork/spork is preferred and the Japanese will understand, just tell them its a cultural thing and for us its just like them eating dolphin and whales. Like them we do it so we can gain their chi powers. After that you can all have a good laugh over a plate of panda/whale over rice/noodles. Multiculturalism really is great.
Shiggz rule #172 celebrate diversity ends when dogs or I am on the menu.
February 1st, 2010 at 4:14 pm
Pandas!! GRAAARRRG!!!
February 1st, 2010 at 4:14 pm
I always thought of Panda’s as being a bit smarter than Hippies. Although just about anything is smarter than a hippie.
February 1st, 2010 at 4:14 pm
Woo Fong not know fo’ sure but have heard baby panda taste just rike chicken.….Woo Fong, owner, Woo Fong’s Gourmet Chinese Restaurant, Fresno, CA.
February 1st, 2010 at 4:20 pm
**** pandas.
As a person living about an hour from the zoo where this godforsaken panda is, I always hear the news stories about this miserable excuse for a creature and wonder why anyone cares. I now have my answer.
People are idiots. Essentially, people are pandas.
February 1st, 2010 at 4:45 pm
There is nothing that cannot be improved by removing a panda from it.
Except dinner.
February 1st, 2010 at 4:47 pm
For all your panda hatred needs, and all your other-cute-animal hatred needs, I suggest fupenguin.com and nothing else.
February 1st, 2010 at 4:49 pm
http://www.fupenguin.com/search?q=panda
February 1st, 2010 at 5:11 pm
Douche Panda doesn’t make any sense.
Pandouche is funnier.
February 1st, 2010 at 5:46 pm
At least it isn’t a polar bear.
February 1st, 2010 at 6:03 pm
Aren’t pandas actually just giant rats? I refuse to look it up and defer to any zoologists out there.
February 1st, 2010 at 6:13 pm
Do you know what Pandas eat, Frank? Cats.
You know what else they eat?
Hippies.
Why do you hate the eater of hippies, Frank?
February 1st, 2010 at 6:37 pm
I t would be more realistic if zoos just purchased animatronic Pandas, a la ‘Fierce Creatures’.
Pandas, the Shakers of the animal kingdom. Why try to breed a creature that has a lack of interest?
February 1st, 2010 at 6:52 pm
At least they’ll tell you what they think. They’re very forthright about their convictions. Not like those pander bears.
February 1st, 2010 at 7:34 pm
Pandas are a silly animal and frankly, they give a bad name to the bears of America.
February 1st, 2010 at 8:44 pm
Ironically, for just $10 you can buy a festive 12″ plush panda from Amazon.com
February 1st, 2010 at 11:43 pm
When I was young they called them Giant Pandas. Giant Pandas!!! People today got it too easy, with your giant iPhones and itty bitty pandas.
February 2nd, 2010 at 9:00 am
One misconception about Pandas is that they are not much interested in sex. Not true. What is true is that they are not much interested in sex with other pandas.
February 2nd, 2010 at 9:34 am
Well, yeah, but who can blame them.
February 2nd, 2010 at 11:46 am
20 & 21,
It’s all relative. If you were stranded on a desert island and your only two options were Michelle Obama or a panda, I’m thinking you’d have a much higher opinion of pandas right now.