Getting monkeys in your hair
Anne Lamott, liberal author and activist, had an article in the L.A. Times yesterday that told about her getting a monkey caught in her hair. Really. (Tip: Ann Althouse)
I’m doing fairly well for a grandmother who had a monkey tangled up in her hair last month on a ghat in Varanasi at sunset. Back home again now, I can report that in the midst of the zap that is India, with its heartbreaking, gorgeous, hallucinatory, dazzling, kaleidoscopic, mind-blowing grandeur and loud reality — a place where having a monkey’s hand trapped in your dreadlocks is pretty par for the course — I came to three decisions about my own country.
Told you. She had a monkey caught in her hair.
Oh, her three decisions?
- Keep her “humor and good nature”
- Forgive John Edwards
- Trust Obama
Okay, the first two could just as easily be accomplished by converting to Christianity. You don’t need a monkey for that. I’ve checked.
The third? Trusting Obama? Apparently you need a monkey for that.
I can’t say that, though, because I’m a conservative. It would be racist to use “monkey” and “Obama” in the same essay, much less the same sentence. However, if I was some dreadlock-wearing 50-something from San Francisco, I could get away with it.
But I’d have to worry about getting monkeys in my hair.
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February 15th, 2010 at 10:19 pm
This seems to be a meme with the left how completely unrelated things bring them to an epiphany. John Kerry votes against the war after voting for it. Nelson wanting to get his Cornhusker kickback taken out of the health care bill. The only way getting a monkey stuck on her head helps her to understand President Obama is because of him constantly getting Buckets stuck on his.
February 15th, 2010 at 10:57 pm
Monkeys in her hair and bats in her belfry…of course she’d trust Obama.
February 15th, 2010 at 11:06 pm
What did John Edwards ever do to her?
February 15th, 2010 at 11:16 pm
Oy Vey! Read the article and almost choked on
“…what saved and saves India — love, nonviolence, a lot of help, radical playfulness and perspective” Non violence left with Ghandi. The ethnic cleansing of Christians last year and the riots against muslims in 2002, both which went largely unreported, are testiments to how short sighted libs can be. 1 billion people locked in a cast system must be a liberal paradise.
February 15th, 2010 at 11:19 pm
Liberals sure are full of humor and good nature as long as you are part of their Borg collective and dont say anything inconvenient that confuses their Saturday morning cartoon like understanding of the world. You know words like:
in German
“Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei”
English
National Socialist German Workers’ Party
or NAZI for short.
February 15th, 2010 at 11:48 pm
Why would anyone trust the advice of a 50 year old woman who wears dreadlocks. Surely by now she should have become more interested in personal hygiene, ya’ think? I guess the monkey was just looking for a snack?
As far as trusting O’vomit……she let a monkey get it’s hand caught in her hair and she let the democrats get their hands in her wallet. Not a rocket scientist I guess.
February 16th, 2010 at 12:24 am
I detect racism in this writing of yours, Basil.
[I agree. It's definitely racist to get a monkey in your hair and one of your first thoughts is about Barack Obama. Shame on Anne Lamott. Shame, I say! - B]
February 16th, 2010 at 12:32 am
My friends, I advise you to read that entire linked article. When you’re finished reading that entire linked article, thank God (or your parental figure, if you’re an Atheist) for making you more able to find common sense than that woman, more humorous than that woman, less arrogant than that woman, less self-hating than that woman, and far, far, far less oblivious than that woman.
I’m glad my grandparents are wise. My Pappy taught me how to shoot; something I will bet is more than that woman could ever do.
February 16th, 2010 at 1:03 am
Speaking of shooting
“The great body of our citizens shoot less as times goes on. We should encourage rifle practice among schoolboys, and indeed among all classes, as well as in the military services by every means in our power. Thus, and not otherwise, may we be able to assist in preserving peace in the world… The first step – in the direction of preparation to avert war if possible, and to be fit for war if it should come – is to teach men to shoot!” -Theodore Roosevelt
February 16th, 2010 at 1:17 am
Some times dreadlocks are just braids after the monkey poops. But some times I shove a stray Tom cat down my pants to help me find forgiveness for Tiger Woods, so what do I know?
February 16th, 2010 at 9:26 am
I dread to think – but I bet someone has it on video tape.
February 16th, 2010 at 10:07 am
I got a few good comments for this but I’ll keep them to myself, they could be considered racist.
February 16th, 2010 at 10:40 am
Odds are it was just all a bad acid trip.
February 16th, 2010 at 2:08 pm
How did she get her head AND a monkey up her ass?
February 16th, 2010 at 2:26 pm
I feel sorry for the monkey.
Monkey in hair equals Obama? Talk about a liberal nutcase rasist. If this had been a conservative (highly unlikely for many reasons) pmsnbc would have a field day with this.