Archive for March, 2010

If You Want Violence, Ban Glenn Beck

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 3:02 pm

The whole idea that Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck cause extremists to be violent is pretty ridiculous if you think about it for a second. If someone is a big Glenn Beck fan, then they agree a lot with Glenn Beck, and then why would they be violent when their views get such representation in the media through Glenn Beck’s show? People aren’t going to get violent if they feel they have a voice in the media. That’s why America’s system of free speech actually help to prevent political violence. The people who might get violent are those who feel they are voiceless, who no one out there represents their views. That’s mainly crazy people. People who think Glenn Beck is a left-wing squish. People who think Harry Reid is a great politicians. Grade A psychos basically.

Now if people were successfully in getting Glenn Beck off the air, what’s the best thing that happens next? You have a large group of people now feel their views are banned from discussion? And this leads to magical happy town how? Do people think Glenn Beck fans are just going to start watching Olbermann and say, “Wow! This guy makes much more sense!”?

Anyway, my point is freedom of speech is a good thing in many ways, so be very careful about getting in its way.

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Now We Done Made Obama Mad

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 1:02 pm

Obama is planning to step up the partisanship. Just when we were all getting used to being united, Obama is going to go on the attack against his opponents who oppose his policy. So, America basically.

So that’s it, dudes; we’re pretty much screwed. Obama is taking off the kid gloves and pinning them to his jacket for safekeeping. He’s going to come at us like a hamster made of steel — unstoppable.

And he’s going to take his message directly to the people and vilify us. You may think he’s done that before with the 80 million times he’s been on TV, but this time he is serious. He has his teleprompters loaded with our destruction, and it’s just waiting for his voice to unleash it. Then public opinion will turn sharply against us, and we will be chased out of town with torches and pitchforks. That’s a big thing these days because most people don’t own either a pitchfork or a torch. They’ll have to stop at Home Depot first to buy them. That’s a dedicated mob. And an economic boon for Home Depot.

Anyway, end is nigh, so gird your loins. Also, gird whatever else you might think needs girding. Really, you can’t gird too much, so go crazy with the girding. I’d recommend the Girding for Dummies book if you find it confusing.

Gird.

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Suspend Democracy to Fight Global Warming

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 11:03 am

James Lovelock, an environmental thinker, suggests we should suspend democracy to deal with global warming. I’m a bit worried, though, if suspending democracy to take on made up problems could be a bad thing, even if those made up problems are serious.

Okay, let’s say we suspend democracy and the government takes special measures to fight global warming, forcing its citizens to do the appease Gaia dance and buy carbon credits — whatever mumbo jumbo they think they need to declare global warming defeated. Maybe we’ll get our democracy back then, or maybe someone will declare a new made up crisis like that unicorns are dying out due to our overuse of salt. Now, no one wants unicorns to die out even if they are fictional, so we leave democracy suspended and save them. And then next thing we know we have to prepare for a leprechaun invasions and so on and so forth and we never get democracy back.

My suggestion is we put James Lovelock and other environmental thinkers into a rocket and blast them into the sun. Then the sun can turn them into superbeings who can solve all our problems. Some say the sun will burn them up, but the math I did and double-checked says it will make them superbeings. Of course, we can argue theory all day but there won’t be any real answers until we blast James Lovelock into the sun.

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Random Thoughts

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 9:11 am

I don’t like it when Obama bows to foreign leaders, but I think it’s even worse when he does interpretive dance for them.

Only thing that probably hurt FOX News’s dominance would be a competing right-leaning news network.

I like how every Microsoft application has a million little icons and windows, 90% of which you’ll never use.

Charles Johnson looking for extremism reminds of Jesse Jackson looking for racism.

So do you think the twist ending to the next M. Night Shyamalan movie is that he isn’t the last Airbender?

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Help an Important Voice of the Right

Tuesday, March 30, 2010 10:53 pm

My friend, Caleb Howe of RedState, needs your help. So, if you have anything to spare, send it his way. Thanks.

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lolterizt! Part 104

Tuesday, March 30, 2010 10:12 pm

This week terrorists, next week That One. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ‘em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.



[reference link]


From Peregrine John:

[reference link]

From Travis:


My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Adam:

From Chuck:

From Me (Harvey):

From MarcoMancuso:

From Me (Harvey):


This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:

I’m thinking there’s a Bill Engvall joke in there somewhere…


PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolterizt! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

HAT TIP: Brian of Snapped Shot‘s magnificent EvilFeed – the world’s best source for ripe-for-captioning terrorist photos.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

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“The State of the Union Is Super, Thanks for Asking!”

Tuesday, March 30, 2010 5:07 pm

A Vanity Fair poll says that now half of Americans are okay with the idea of a gay president. I think a lot of the credit goes to Obama for easing us into the idea.

So would a gay president be one of those “sophisticated” things we’d have over Europe? Have any of them ever had an openly gay leader? I keep thinking they do, but it always ends up he’s just British.

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Expiration Date

Tuesday, March 30, 2010 3:02 pm

Jim Geraghty (Know what? I’m getting tire of looking up how to spell his name. Let’s come up with a nickname for him: “Googity”) has long said every statement from Obama comes with an expiration date, and he has a list of all the promises that have expired.

Scary thought: What are some other Obama statements that haven’t expired yet? Like didn’t he once assure us he wasn’t going to kill grandma? Has he ever joked about how his policies wouldn’t be the end of the world? And didn’t he once, apropos to nothing in the middle of reading a book to schoolkids, suddenly say, “By the way, I’m not going to sneak into your houses and slit your throats.”

As Googity says: “All Barack Obama statements come with an expiration date. All of them.”

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Violent Harry Reid Supporters

Tuesday, March 30, 2010 1:02 pm

So some Harry Reid supporters were throwing eggs and assaulting Andrew Breitbart, but before we feign outrage let’s just think about this for a second.

Harry Reid supporters.

Mull that phrase over. Think of Harry Reid. Now think of someone who likes and supports that.

You can’t. It just can’t be comprehended. My understanding is even most Democrats don’t support Harry Reid; they just kind of tolerate him. But someone who is actually excited by Harry Reid — that’s a grade A psycho right there. My advice for Breitbart is to avoid those people next time; who knows what they’re capable of.

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Are Liberals Just Like Terrorists?

Tuesday, March 30, 2010 11:01 am

Once again, I be the contrarian and argue “no” in my latest Pajamas Media column.

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Random Thoughts

Tuesday, March 30, 2010 9:13 am

I think what the public is going to be really desperate for after Obama is another really fat president like Taft.

So, yes, Chris Christie is my current front runner for the Republican presidential primary. You heard it here first.

People just got to get over the fact that the RNC Chairman is black.

Actually, I bet the press will call death threats to Cantor “right-wing” violence. It does involve a right-winger.

Eventually computers will write movies based on input of targeted demographics and previous financially successful movies. The results will be horribly cliché, but watchable and ultimately profitable.

Got the Word of Promise audio Bible. Zod/Jor El is the voice of God. Luke Perry is Judas.

So what now? The RNC isn’t going to reimburse my visit to a bondage-themed nightclub? Come on!

My wife made my fajitas for lunch with homemade guacamole. Yep, that t-shirt babe contest worked out well.

BREAKING: DNC will give Cantor threat suspect’s donations to charity. Specifically, a bondage-themed nightclub.

Every time GoogleMaps updates its satellite photos, Canada looks more and more threatening to me. No, YOU’RE paranoid!

I find it hard to evaluate the job Steele is doing when I never really paid attention to the RNC Chairman before.

The Marmaduke trailer makes we wonder if we need a law against depicting animals talking.

Chuck is just pure fun. If it’s canceled, I’ll become violently angry, though the media will probably blame it on me listening to Limbaugh.

Wife’s trying to guilt me into using my allowance towards baby stuff, but if I don’t get an iPad I’m going to be an abusive father.

Isn’t it a cool idea there is going to be someone with my genes who grows up with me educating him? He’ll be like a superhuman.

Is it a sign of my maturing that Ricky Martin coming out hasn’t sparked one humorous thought? Or am I just now dead inside?

Apparently, some countries don’t like America. Have we ever thought of putting suggestion boxes on our embassies to find out why?

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Hurray for failure

Tuesday, March 30, 2010 7:45 am

I’m trying to understand some polls I read this week:

  • Only 27% of Americans say the U.S. will remain the most powerful nation.
  • 47% of likely voters approve (30% strongly approve + 17% approve) of Obama’s job performance.

I find that interesting. And disturbing.

Look at that again: Only 27% say we’re remain the most powerful nation, while 47% approve of Obama.

If all 27% are part of that 47%, then 20% of Americans recognize and are okay with the weakening of our country.

But, I don’t believe that all 27% are Obama supporters. I suspect most of them think we’ll remain strong despite Obama.

If none of those are Obama supporters, then 47% of Americans recognize and are okay with the weakening of our country.

At least 1/5 — and possibly almost 1/2 — of this country recognizes that Obama is weakening the nation … and are okay with that.

This is why I’m an angry conservative.

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Ignoring Reagan while waiting on him

Monday, March 29, 2010 7:40 pm

Many Republicans … certainly many conservatives … have said we need another Reagan.

Some of the same ones say that the GOP needs to clean house, replacing liberals and moderates with more conservative candidates.

I don’t disagree with either. And they are not mutually exclusive. But many are going about it the wrong way. And I’ve been guilty, too.

The conservative movement needs someone like a Ronald Reagan. Perhaps he … or she … is already there, just not yet fully realized. But, I have faith that it’ll work out.

The other piece of the puzzle is getting conservatives in office. In Florida, for instance, everything is pointing to Marco Rubio winning the Republican nomination for Senate over that state’s governor, Charlie Crist. And that’s a good thing, since Rubio is the true conservative in that race.

But we need to be careful. We don’t need to be criticizing Republicans already in office that aren’t conservatives. You know. RINOs. Like GOP chairman Michael Steele. Or John McCain. Or Lindsey Graham. Or…

Now, I might be ruffling some feathers when I say don’t criticize them. Because those Republicans are often criticized by other Republicans or conservatives.

I say again: we shouldn’t be publicly criticizing the RINOs.

We should be following Ronald Reagan’s example: “Thou shalt not speak ill of any fellow Republican.”

This isn’t to say that RINOs get a pass. Rather, we need to be smart about how we replace them with conservatives. But we do need to replace them with conservatives.

But it would be just plain wrong to violate the teachings of Ronald Reagan while we seek out the next Ronald Reagan.


More comments at BasilsBlog.

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Booooosh!!!

Monday, March 29, 2010 5:06 pm

Biden blames Obama’s plummeting popularity on Bush; so there is something Bush did right. When are we ever going to hear the last of the “blame Bush” meme? I’m thinking the very last statement will be Obama blaming his failure to get reelected on Bush.

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Who Do We Like?

Monday, March 29, 2010 3:04 pm

John Hawkins of Right Wing News surveyed right of center bloggers on what they think of 35 prominent people on the right (or who claim to be on the right). Who is the most popular? That may be surprising. Who is the least popular? Not as surprising. Senator McCain may be disliked by many conservatives, but Hawkins’s survey proves that Meghan McCain has certainly struck out on her own, gaining even greater dislike than her father by her own accomplishments.

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Amnesty Compromise

Monday, March 29, 2010 1:03 pm

We seem to be talking about illegal immigration again. After President Obama’s super-popular health care bill, it’s time for some super-popular amnesty legislation.

Now, quite some time ago I came up with the compromise solution of obliterating Mexico. This is basically amnesty as we wouldn’t have anywhere to deport most illegal immigrants. At the same time, we won’t have to worry about anymore illegal immigration from the south. Seemed a pretty fair trade off to me.

Still, I have another idea. No amnesty, no path to citizen for those who broke the law, but we give California to Mexico. That’s right, Mexico, it’s yours completely now; have at it. Some won’t like the idea of giving territory to those who are wronging us, but frankly I think we come out better on that deal. Now straddled with California and all its problems and debt, I think Mexico is going to wish it respected our border.

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It’s the End of the Country as We Know It, So Let’s Have Fun

Monday, March 29, 2010 11:02 am

The idea of the Democrats in power now seems to be to as erode as much rights as possible and get more control in the hands of the government. Unfortunately, it’s really hard to roll that back, but another strategy would be to just have fun with it. See, the Republicans should regain majorities again, so maybe we should just abuse this new found power. Like, Democrats are going to force people to buy health insurance, and if that somehow passes the Supreme Court, let’s think of all the things we can force liberals to buy when we’re back in control:

THINGS TO FORCE LIBERALS TO BUY

* Bibles

* Guns

* Soap

* Country music

* Glenn Beck’s latest book

* An angry badger

* Framed photo of Ronald Reagan

Afterward, maybe liberals will be like, “Hey, maybe giving the government so much power was a bad idea.” Too late!

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Random Thoughts

Monday, March 29, 2010 9:27 am

Must be confusing for kids playing cowboys and Indians these days because how are call-center workers supposed to take on cowboys?

So when does my insurance rate go down the promised 3000%? I hope it’s before the end of the month.

There is no excuse to not be civil unless you’re really really really sure you’re right and the other side is wrong.

People are worried about jobs and terrorism, so Obama goes after health care and our nuclear stockpile. Not sure we’re on same page.

So what’s the absolute best outcome we hope for from just letting North Korea be?

I think my greatest fear for our new child is that he will have a Bostonian accent.

Justin Bieber is so dreamy. Like how he has a fish head; that’s something straight out of a nonsensical dream.

David Frum is the thinking man’s Meghan McCain. By “thinking man” I mean “nominally sentient.”

Is it weird I refer to 256 as a “nice round number”?

The transition to computing would have been easier if we had one less finger on each hand.

24 is canceled. We’ve even given up the war on fictional terrorists.

The series debuted right after 9/11, showing us how much more effective terrorists would be if they were secretly backed by rich white people.

I hope this government being able to force us to buy stuff isn’t going to escalate. Corporate interests are going to love that one. “Buy Coca Cola: It’s the law!”

What’s with military ranks and them being pronounced nothing like they’re spelled? Colonel is “kernel” and in UK lieutenant is “leftenant”.

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Probably Won’t Keep That Good Solid B+

Sunday, March 28, 2010 8:58 pm

Seems CBS forgot to take down their January 19th poll asking people to rate Obama’s first year in office.

Go & vote, you bitter bible-clingers.

[hat tip: VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks]

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Heroes fight

Sunday, March 28, 2010 8:10 pm

The character in this clip from Angel Season 5 was actually talking about The Apocalypse, not about Democrats running things. But it does seem quite appropriate.


[Direct link]

Transcript:

What did you, you think a gong was going to sound? Time to jump on your horses and fight the big fight?

Starting pistol went off a long time ago, boys. You’re playing for the bad guys.

Every day you sit behind your desk an you — you learn a little more about how to accept the world the way it is. Well here’s the rub: Heroes don’t do that. Heroes don’t accept the world the way it is. They fight it.

Then again, maybe he was talking about Democrats running things.

Better not take any chances.

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