If You Want Violence, Ban Glenn Beck

The whole idea that Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck cause extremists to be violent is pretty ridiculous if you think about it for a second. If someone is a big Glenn Beck fan, then they agree a lot with Glenn Beck, and then why would they be violent when their views get such representation in the media through Glenn Beck’s show? People aren’t going to get violent if they feel they have a voice in the media. That’s why America’s system of free speech actually help to prevent political violence. The people who might get violent are those who feel they are voiceless, who no one out there represents their views. That’s mainly crazy people. People who think Glenn Beck is a left-wing squish. People who think Harry Reid is a great politicians. Grade A psychos basically.

Now if people were successfully in getting Glenn Beck off the air, what’s the best thing that happens next? You have a large group of people now feel their views are banned from discussion? And this leads to magical happy town how? Do people think Glenn Beck fans are just going to start watching Olbermann and say, “Wow! This guy makes much more sense!”?

Anyway, my point is freedom of speech is a good thing in many ways, so be very careful about getting in its way.

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Now We Done Made Obama Mad

Obama is planning to step up the partisanship. Just when we were all getting used to being united, Obama is going to go on the attack against his opponents who oppose his policy. So, America basically.

So that’s it, dudes; we’re pretty much screwed. Obama is taking off the kid gloves and pinning them to his jacket for safekeeping. He’s going to come at us like a hamster made of steel — unstoppable.

And he’s going to take his message directly to the people and vilify us. You may think he’s done that before with the 80 million times he’s been on TV, but this time he is serious. He has his teleprompters loaded with our destruction, and it’s just waiting for his voice to unleash it. Then public opinion will turn sharply against us, and we will be chased out of town with torches and pitchforks. That’s a big thing these days because most people don’t own either a pitchfork or a torch. They’ll have to stop at Home Depot first to buy them. That’s a dedicated mob. And an economic boon for Home Depot.

Anyway, end is nigh, so gird your loins. Also, gird whatever else you might think needs girding. Really, you can’t gird too much, so go crazy with the girding. I’d recommend the Girding for Dummies book if you find it confusing.


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Suspend Democracy to Fight Global Warming

James Lovelock, an environmental thinker, suggests we should suspend democracy to deal with global warming. I’m a bit worried, though, if suspending democracy to take on made up problems could be a bad thing, even if those made up problems are serious.

Okay, let’s say we suspend democracy and the government takes special measures to fight global warming, forcing its citizens to do the appease Gaia dance and buy carbon credits — whatever mumbo jumbo they think they need to declare global warming defeated. Maybe we’ll get our democracy back then, or maybe someone will declare a new made up crisis like that unicorns are dying out due to our overuse of salt. Now, no one wants unicorns to die out even if they are fictional, so we leave democracy suspended and save them. And then next thing we know we have to prepare for a leprechaun invasions and so on and so forth and we never get democracy back.

My suggestion is we put James Lovelock and other environmental thinkers into a rocket and blast them into the sun. Then the sun can turn them into superbeings who can solve all our problems. Some say the sun will burn them up, but the math I did and double-checked says it will make them superbeings. Of course, we can argue theory all day but there won’t be any real answers until we blast James Lovelock into the sun.

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Random Thoughts

I don’t like it when Obama bows to foreign leaders, but I think it’s even worse when he does interpretive dance for them.

Only thing that probably hurt FOX News’s dominance would be a competing right-leaning news network.

I like how every Microsoft application has a million little icons and windows, 90% of which you’ll never use.

Charles Johnson looking for extremism reminds of Jesse Jackson looking for racism.

So do you think the twist ending to the next M. Night Shyamalan movie is that he isn’t the last Airbender?

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Help an Important Voice of the Right

My friend, Caleb Howe of RedState, needs your help. So, if you have anything to spare, send it his way. Thanks.

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lolterizt! Part 104

This week terrorists, next week That One. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.

[reference link]

From Peregrine John:

[reference link]

From Travis:

My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Adam:

From Chuck:

From Me (Harvey):

From MarcoMancuso:

From Me (Harvey):

This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:

I’m thinking there’s a Bill Engvall joke in there somewhere…

#1: When creating lolterizt! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

HAT TIP: Brian of Snapped Shot‘s magnificent EvilFeed – the world’s best source for ripe-for-captioning terrorist photos.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

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“The State of the Union Is Super, Thanks for Asking!”

A Vanity Fair poll says that now half of Americans are okay with the idea of a gay president. I think a lot of the credit goes to Obama for easing us into the idea.

So would a gay president be one of those “sophisticated” things we’d have over Europe? Have any of them ever had an openly gay leader? I keep thinking they do, but it always ends up he’s just British.

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Expiration Date

Jim Geraghty (Know what? I’m getting tire of looking up how to spell his name. Let’s come up with a nickname for him: “Googity”) has long said every statement from Obama comes with an expiration date, and he has a list of all the promises that have expired.

Scary thought: What are some other Obama statements that haven’t expired yet? Like didn’t he once assure us he wasn’t going to kill grandma? Has he ever joked about how his policies wouldn’t be the end of the world? And didn’t he once, apropos to nothing in the middle of reading a book to schoolkids, suddenly say, “By the way, I’m not going to sneak into your houses and slit your throats.”

As Googity says: “All Barack Obama statements come with an expiration date. All of them.”

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Violent Harry Reid Supporters

So some Harry Reid supporters were throwing eggs and assaulting Andrew Breitbart, but before we feign outrage let’s just think about this for a second.

Harry Reid supporters.

Mull that phrase over. Think of Harry Reid. Now think of someone who likes and supports that.

You can’t. It just can’t be comprehended. My understanding is even most Democrats don’t support Harry Reid; they just kind of tolerate him. But someone who is actually excited by Harry Reid — that’s a grade A psycho right there. My advice for Breitbart is to avoid those people next time; who knows what they’re capable of.

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Are Liberals Just Like Terrorists?

Once again, I be the contrarian and argue “no” in my latest Pajamas Media column.

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