Things would have been different if we’d elected Fred Thompson president, but 2008 just wasn’t a year we wanted conservative leadership and instead just wanted someone who said “Hope and Change” a lot. I hope that works out for us. Still, Fred Thompson has a new book coming out called Teaching the Pig to Dance.
It’s a memoir of his childhood growing up in a small town in Tennessee. I got a preview copy, and I learned a lot of interesting things about young Fred Thompson.
FUN FACTS ABOUT YOUNG FRED THOMPSON
* Young Fred Thompson was always getting in trouble for sneaking up and tackling grizzly bears, and it got to the point that they could never maul anyone in peace.
* Young Fred Thompson’s elementary school science project nearly destroyed the sun.
* Young Fred Thompson’s first use of common sense politics was when he chased Democrats out of town with a shotgun.
* The first time Young Fred Thompson experienced taxes was when he was charged sales tax on a pack of gum, and he became so enraged that eventually the national guard had to be called in to stop him. The incident was what Rambo: First Blood was loosely based on.
* Young Fred Thompson was always pestering his cranky neighbor, Mr. Wilson, and eventually exposed him as a Communist and had him carted off.
* Before Fred Thompson punched hippies, Young Fred Thompson kicked beatniks.
* Once, with a single shot of his Red Ryder BB Gun, Young Fred Thompson shot out three people’s eyes.
* Young Fred Thompson made his own kite, which he used to fly in the park, the design of which was bought by McDonnell Douglas and eventually turned in the F-15.
* During a Boy Scout camping trip, instead of bringing a tent, Young Fred Thompson just cut down some trees and made his own lodgings. The result is still there as the city of Kingsport, Tennessee.
* Young Fred Thompson was always getting into trouble with his pranks as a child, such as when he broke into the state treasury and started mailing out “tax rebates.”
* Young Fred Thompson’s first childhood job: Commie-smasher.
* Young Fred Thompson had a beloved border collie growing up who would always warn his parents if he was in danger. Fred Thompson eventually got rid of the dog because he doesn’t like squealers.
* Young Fred Thompson first thought he might be destined for greatness when he had to fight off a cyborg sent from the future to kill him.
Also, as a bonus, the book contains a number of Fred Thompson’s childhood drawings of Muhammad.