Best Thing Cheney Ever Did
Cheney recently described him telling Senator Leahy to go “@#$% yourself” as the “best thing I ever did.” I don’t know; that kind of sells shooting a lawyer in the face with a shotgun short.
So what’s your favorite thing Cheney ever did? I liked the time he announced a speech in a desert just to trick protesters there so he could kidnap them and force them to work in one Haliburton’s underground uranium mines.
(29 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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April 23rd, 2010 at 5:19 pm
Wow, read the comments on that link. And the left blame us for words inciting violence…
I have a feeling that this is going to turn into a Chuck Norris joke comment section, with the name “Chuck Norris” replaced by “Dick Cheney”. I, for one, am OK with that.
April 23rd, 2010 at 5:24 pm
I think the best thing Cheney has ever done is speak up against Obama’s “defense” “policies” (I feel like I’m doing both of those words injustice next to President Obama’s name). Cheney could easily have left office and returned to his silo of gold to putter around on the bulldozer with his top hat and monocle on, but he hasn’t. I like that he’s still fired up enough about the US of A to give forceful voice to conservative principles. If only a couple more of the 40-something guys – to say nothing of my slacker twentysomething generation – had that much energy!
Also, Frank – I’m disappointed in your use of the past tense for the title of this post. Or have you abandoned all that you stand for and given up on the idea of Dick Cheney with a rocket launcher riding a dinosaur through Riyadh?
April 23rd, 2010 at 6:14 pm
The best thing Cheney did was when he choked out Admiral Ozzel through the viewscreen for bring the fleet out of lightspeed too close to the Hoth system. I mean come on, cant beat that. Amazing!
April 23rd, 2010 at 6:19 pm
The best thing Cheney ever did was painting an awesome picture of Muhammad and Chuck Norris fighting crime.
April 23rd, 2010 at 6:20 pm
I’m still waiting for him to smack some kid out of the whining teenager stage then throw the Emperor into a reactor
April 23rd, 2010 at 6:47 pm
I have not read the linked site before this. The comments are appalling. How angry the commenters are! How ill informed they are! How like a pack of feces flinging monkeys they are!
April 23rd, 2010 at 6:49 pm
And by the way, Dick Cheney’s greatest thing ever done: anonymously donating his vital bodily fluid to sperm banks nationwide over the past 40 years. Watch out world, even a person only genetically half-Cheney is still more awesomely powerful than a normal human.
April 23rd, 2010 at 6:58 pm
Mikee – i read the comments there too – man are they a bunch of angry folk – wowee
I dont know if using Darth Vader as an insult really works – I would totally dig it.
Now JarJar would be a different story – thems fightin’ words
April 23rd, 2010 at 7:07 pm
I’m sort of undecided between the time that he gave Barney Frank a giant wedgie for no particular reason and the time that he forced Keith Olbermann to have sex with Helen Thomas.
April 23rd, 2010 at 7:56 pm
I dunno… kind of hard to top shooting a lawyer in the face with a shotgun!
April 23rd, 2010 at 8:22 pm
OK Frank. Someone gave you an opportunity to do something truly monumental on the internets. Its high time we decide who is better, Chuck Norris or Dick Cheney. This would be the single most hardest decision ever made by anyone, any time, any where. Then lets link it to HuffPo and the Kos Kids so we can see their heads explode.
April 23rd, 2010 at 8:44 pm
The best thing?
Being the brains behind George Bush’s foreign policy.
Making foreign leaders understand that he could beat them with one brain hemisphere tied behind his back.
April 23rd, 2010 at 9:16 pm
Giving more to charity than all Democrats combined?
April 23rd, 2010 at 9:56 pm
When he punched 70 smelly hippies in their stupid monkey faces in a single afternoon.
April 23rd, 2010 at 10:13 pm
My favorite memory was when he and the boys took on Big Fat Teddy K and the rest of the Hell’s Democrats.
April 23rd, 2010 at 10:22 pm
How about the time he drilled that oil well in Alaska, using hippies as lubricant?
April 24th, 2010 at 12:28 am
The greatest thing he ever did?
The time he decided to go in against a Sicilian when death was on the line…
April 24th, 2010 at 12:29 am
The best thing Dick Cheney ever did was clean Joe Lieberman’s clock in the ’00 VP debate. Hell, Lieberman wound up switching sides entirely…
April 24th, 2010 at 2:14 am
I really liked the time when Cheney threw tourists and media types out of Lafayette Park (a public park by the way, open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year 365 days a year) because a group of gay military (active and retired) members chained themselves to the fence in front of the White House. Not only did they close a public park they did it in a very Gestapo like way. If you don’t believe me look it up on you tube yourself………….
Oh wait my bad that wasn’t Cheney, that was the Obama Administration, the most transparent administration EVER.
So sorry.
April 24th, 2010 at 5:01 am
He stood his ground and never relented. Plus, shooting a lawyer in the face was a plus!
April 24th, 2010 at 8:43 am
In a display of awesomeness he once parted the Potomac River in order to lead the Republicans to the promised land. Later he shot a lawyer just because he could….and got away with it! Today he is still capable of driving lefties to near hysteria by merely speaking with the media. Has the ability to silence critics by telling them to go Eyjafjallajökull themselves. Occasionally is seen in public disguised as a burning bush.
April 24th, 2010 at 10:33 am
He bitch slapped John Edwards on air and then tosseled his cute hair.
April 24th, 2010 at 10:39 am
he not only shot a lawyer in the face, but the lawyer apologized.
April 24th, 2010 at 10:54 am
I don’t know Frank. I just read your Twitter page and cracked-up. Don’t save it all ’till Monday!
April 24th, 2010 at 11:10 am
I just loved it when he took on John Amos on top of that plane and opened up the fuel hatch, and in doing so, gave Holly her landing lights.
April 24th, 2010 at 11:18 am
Every time Dick Cheney and Chuck Norris are mentioned in the same sentence, the awesomeness threshold is breached, creating a quantum singularity somewhere in the universe, hopefully near a smelly hippie. There, it just happened again.
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. Chuck Norris wears Dick Cheney pajamas. Dick Cheney doesn’t wear pajamas because awesomeness never sleeps!
April 24th, 2010 at 1:48 pm
“forced Keith Olbermann to have sex with Helen Thomas.” — I’m sure this violates some sort of obscenity law, somewhere. If not, nothing does.
April 24th, 2010 at 2:11 pm
Could of been worse Penultimatum…he could have forced Keith to have sex with Barny Frank.
April 24th, 2010 at 8:02 pm
Six of one, half dozen of the other. Gives a new meaning to “triangle of death.”
April 24th, 2010 at 8:07 pm
Best thing Dick Cheney ever did was the “Night of the Sodomizing Cougar-Man.”
April 24th, 2010 at 10:58 pm
he could have forced Keith to have sex with Barny Frank. After all,Olb only gets that “excited” over Barry, so much so that Michelle had to kick his @ss, twice, just to calm him down.
April 26th, 2010 at 10:49 am
Man, reading those comments and imagining all those liberal woozies drolling and shivering at the mere mention of “Dick Cheney” is the best thing Cheney ever did. I want to be that, someone who’s mere mention causes all those so called progressives to burst into flames.
April 26th, 2010 at 12:48 pm
I think conceiving his daughter Liz may yet prove to be the best thing he ever did. Time will tell.
April 26th, 2010 at 1:08 pm
When he ate the sun.. I liked that one
April 26th, 2010 at 2:40 pm
We may nver hear all the storys of Dick Cheny’s awesomeness. There are not enough books in the world. Any man who can bring on strokes, heart attacks, and instant comas to liberals by just breathing has to be awesome.
April 26th, 2010 at 3:07 pm
“Its high time we decide who is better, Chuck Norris or Dick Cheney.”
Why? To decide who will serve at Fred Thompson’s right hand? (The consolation prize here is serving at Fred Thompson’s left hand, of course.)
April 26th, 2010 at 3:46 pm
#22, That was my favorite.
I had the chance to watch both Vice-Presidential debates (Cheney-Lieberman & Cheney-Edwards).
The first was like watching the angry samurai beat the crap out of Tom Cruise with a stick on “The Last Samurai”.
The second was like watching a bear play with a bunny before messily devouring it. John Edwards -the silky pony with the golden tongue- was oumatched, outshined, and outclassed in every possible way. It was the single best moment of the BC04 campaign and I shall never forget it. I can only imagine the pain liberals felt watching this splatterfest. It must have been like being on the wrong end of one of those “Hostel” torture scenes.
April 26th, 2010 at 3:52 pm
Okay, actually, the bear-bunny analogy isn’t even good enough here. It was more like the mutant bear from “Prophecy” and the kid in the sleeping bag….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCi-OUHwaY0