We’re Trapped in a Black Hole
Could our universe be stuck in the black hole of an even larger universe? Sounds wacky, but who knows. The whole universe — quantum physics, dark matter, Democrats — doesn’t make much sense, so Occam’s Razor doesn’t really lead to any simple explanation of all things.
So, what do suppose would be in the larger universe beyond the black hole we’re stuck in? We can approximate the mass of the observable universe and perhaps then get the mass of the black hole we’re in. We can then use the size of that black hole and what we know of this universe as a baseline to calculate what the other universe must be like. And if I got the math correct…
IT’S FILLED WITH GIANT SPACE GORILLAS!!!
Those are like regular gorillas. But much larger. And in space.
Frankly, we’re much safer here in our nice little black hole.
(23 votes, average: 4.48 out of 5)
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April 9th, 2010 at 3:33 pm
Frank, this is consistent with the “bubbling balloon theory” of the multiverse. To confirm it, we must join the larger party out there where the balloons are. Plus, they probably have stringy confetti out there along with chocolate cake and ice cream which would confirm string theory and also the claim that chocolate is universal and even eaten by God.
April 9th, 2010 at 3:42 pm
Awesome ways to make your own blackhole or at least a rupture in the fabric of space and time
-pour diet pepsi and diet coke into the same glass
-find a recently unemployed liberal and offer them a job at Haliburton
-speak backwards and record it and then play that back backwards
-put a one size fits all shirt on a randy elephant
-Elect Obama while Pelosi/Reid control congress
-tell Muslims Mohammed wont return until they build a black hole and aim it at Israel
-use three way calling and call Geicko and Progressive and then hang up
-put an xbox disc into a ps3
-sing a michael jackson song without ever touching the swimsuit area
April 9th, 2010 at 3:54 pm
Scientists looking to study black holes should come here to New York and take a look at the Department of Education.
April 9th, 2010 at 4:01 pm
That is Hole of Color, you racist cracker!
April 9th, 2010 at 4:26 pm
Is Giant Space Gorillas a euphemism?
April 9th, 2010 at 4:33 pm
I got orangutans.
But I might have made a mistake when I took the square of the inverse of Joe Biden’s intelligence since I was pretty much taking the square root of infinity.
Are your gorillas blue?
shiggz, I tried your method but I shot the diet/regular Coke out of my nose when I got to -use three way calling and call Geicko and Progressive and then hang up
That’s funny.
Not least because you know that freaky Progressive chick would soon be swinging nekkid from trees with both the gecko and the caveman if given the chance.
April 9th, 2010 at 4:34 pm
Nuke it. Whatever it is, just nuke it.
April 9th, 2010 at 5:02 pm
Marko, you seem just a tad kranky today.
April 9th, 2010 at 5:10 pm
Science! is great at making up things that “may” exist out there and then talking about it like they have been friends with it their whole lives. “Yeah me and my buddy black hole over there are going for a beer after work today.” Nobody has ever seen, heard, smelled, or detected one of these in any way. Its all theory, and then they base another theory off that theory, and on and on. For all the crap these predominantly liberal agnostic scientists give religious folks for believing in God, they are doing the exact same thing when you think about it. They believe in imaginary (theoretical is the fancy word they like) things they cant see or prove in the sky lol. Id say there is way more proof of God, just look at the Platypus, things like that dont happen by accident.
April 9th, 2010 at 5:15 pm
In an epic space battle, I’d put my money on the dinosaurs with lasers over the giant blue gorillas.
April 9th, 2010 at 5:29 pm
I believe I’ll watch Ivy Mike on YouTube, ‘shave.
April 9th, 2010 at 5:41 pm
acrazymic -
Hah! I just used the platypus in an argument for The Almighty the other day! What are the odds? Although to be honest, I think He may have been a little preoccupied when He came up with that one….
April 9th, 2010 at 6:24 pm
Glad I could make you laugh Veesh. Laughter is the enemy of fascism.
Speaking of the religious science debate, this clip from a the british sci-fi series hyperdrive is hilarious.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IF6KtO63T4
Also this song about Barry
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_W57aBMYKvU
April 9th, 2010 at 6:25 pm
Is it possible that our president is stuck in a –
nevermind.
April 9th, 2010 at 6:30 pm
Don’t Black Holes have something to do with gravity? Could this be the reason that I am gaining weight?
April 9th, 2010 at 8:04 pm
I just kinda figured we were stuck in a really crappy first or second-run matrix.
April 9th, 2010 at 10:06 pm
According to the Men In Black movies, We’re either in a pretty blue marble, or a bus terminal locker somewhere. Personally, I’d prefer the pretty blue marble.
April 9th, 2010 at 11:15 pm
I’ll see your giant gorillas and raise you our immense jack………..donkey’s . The sheer amount of manure they produce would be well worth the price of transportation. Please take them, take them all now!
April 10th, 2010 at 12:42 am
……and you can not shave anything with Occam’s Razor so really how simple can that be?
April 10th, 2010 at 12:45 am
Frank, you’re just what the doctor ordered. I needed a good chuckle today.
April 10th, 2010 at 1:13 am
I have designed a neutrino / dark matter generator. It will be powered by a dark energy to carbon credit converter. I am currently looking for a government stimulus grant to develop my hypothesis.
April 10th, 2010 at 4:53 am
Frank J., sometimes I wonder what type of weed you are smoking. Whatever it is, it must be great stuff.
April 10th, 2010 at 10:27 am
@ #20…Must be some of that California medical shit…you know…the shit that kilt Elvis
April 10th, 2010 at 11:55 am
Speaking of logical black holes, liberals are convinced our objection to transforming America to democratic socialism makes us all racist because Obama is half black.
So by their own line of reasoning since the actor who played Jar-Jar binks is black and thus if you hate Jar-Jar or the new prequels then you are Racist. Any objection or criticism of either is just racism hiding behind the movie.
Liberals should now say what they really mean, “I hate Jar-Jar… boy!”
Personally my objection to Obama is not that he is half-black it is that he is all Red.
April 10th, 2010 at 12:23 pm
The playpus, things like that don’t happen by accident; however, it might have been God’s way of screwing with the Darwinists.
Could we be a virtual reality game being played by people in the future? Only Science! will be able to find out.
Concerned about Giant Space Gorillas? This sounds like a job for…….Space Monkey!
April 11th, 2010 at 9:23 am
I thought we’d gone over this, the platypus was the Baby Jesus’ first animal.
Well, His second animal. We don’t discuss the first one.
April 12th, 2010 at 8:41 am
The liberal black hole is near the seventh planet. Ask any Democrat. They know.
Wait a minute… .you said black hole. Racist !!!!
Come back from vacation and this is what i get… a dsicussion of liberal brains.
April 12th, 2010 at 10:45 am
So there’s giant space gorillas in addition to giant asteroid space rocks that want to kill us? Man, that space is a hazardous place, ain’t it? I think Marko’s right on this one, whatever it is, just nuke it.
No problem is too big that it can’t be solved with the judicious use of nuclear weapons.
April 12th, 2010 at 1:05 pm
I’m sorry. Most of my knowledge of space is derived from the shows Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, Star Trek and Lost In Space, so I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m sure Stephen Hawking has explained all of this at some point, but no one can actually understand a word he’s saying, so everyone just smiles and nods.
April 12th, 2010 at 10:52 pm
Stephen Hawking? Isn’t he the dude who does all the voice-over work over at Xtranormal?