Random Thoughts

It’s starting to seem like Obama got his emoting lessons from Al Gore.

Obama: “Show me your asses, people! This is a full-on, ass investigation until I find the ones in need of kicking!”

So has someone photoshopped Obama in the costume from Kickass yet? I’m disappointed in the internets if not.

I’m glad the GI Joe movie has all these flashbacks because the one thing that defines GI Joe is deep characterization.

So basically it was ladies night in the Republican primaries.

I think the turning point for Fiorina was the demonsheep. She was unbeatable after that.

So are all the Republican governors and senators going to end up on the same cycle?

Soon to be dogging the new Republican candidates will be dark horse fringe candidate Ronette Paul.

So does the Fiorina win mean pretty much every political ad in the future will feature demonic animals? If so, cool.

So why are the nutroots all upset about Blanche Lincoln winning her primary? Did they find out she’s a Jew?

I don’t get women politicians. What happens if there’s a national crisis but their husbands need them to make them a sammich?

WOMAN POLITICIAN: “Nuclear missiles could be launching in the next 20 minutes!” HUSBAND: “But I’m hungry NOW!”

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29 Comments

  1. Stop being so narrow-minded Frnak! Political caucuses need more females! After all, that coffee ain’t gonna serve itself ya know! Oooo…and bring me one of those cherry danish sweetheart, that’s a good girl.

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  2. So why are the nutroots all upset about Blanche Lincoln winning her primary? Did they find out she’s a Jew?

    They’re upset because their union slave driver masters wasted more than $10,000,000 on that primary and when the union slave driver masters get back from their “blowing off some steam” vacation in Las Vegas, they’ll be angry like Obama and that guy from Top Gun, “I want some butts!”

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  3. “I don’t get women politicians. What happens if there’s a national crisis but their husbands need them to make them a sammich?”

    They’d be OK with me. Making my sammiches is a man’s job, nobody can do it as well as me. My concern is once football season starts, is she going to be there to make a beer run so I don’t miss a single down?

    “Whatdayamean you might be launching nukes in 20 minutes? Kickoff’s in 10 minutes and I’m down to my last beer! Be a good girl, run to the store and get me a couple of six packs, then you can go play with the weapons of mass destruction.”

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  4. All kidding aside, I have no problem with female politicians as long as one doesn’t become the President. Women are just wired differently. They shy away from confrontation. I mean, what if we had a female President and Iran started rattling the saber. She’d be all “I’m concerned about this escalation and I’m willing to talk with the Iranian President without pre-conditions so that we can work out our differences.”

    And since women are less inclined to use corporal punishment, we’d never pick up, much less use, the “Big Stick” in the face of aggression and instead use the equivalent of a time-out. So if, say, North Korea did something like brag about having nukes and then did something like sink a South Korean warship she’d be like, “These acts of aggression will not be tolerated. Therefore we are going to tell the U.N. what you did as soon as it gets home from work and they’ll probably give you a good sanctioning.”

    Of course, after a while most of America would wonder what kind of a wishy-washy pantywaist was in the White House so to (over)compensate she’d pretend to be all alpha-male and make some totally unbelievable statement about how she was ready to “kick some ass” or something.

    Just imagine if that happened! Man, would we be screwed or what?!?

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  5. The regional difference between “soda” and “pop” is nothing compared to the regional difference between sammich and sangwich.

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  6. Random thoughts you all might enjoy…or not. Carl Sagan computes the national debt.

    Being a scientist, and the son of a rocket scientist, I did some ‘Saganesque’ computations to bring the magnitude of the national debt into better focus. With any luck, they will showcase just how astronomical the debt has become. I hope you enjoy it and that I did the math correctly.

    So, let’s say you set out to do a fund raising drive to help pay off the debt…a “Walk Off the Debt” marathon. You approach people and request a pledge for every mile you walk/jog/run/fly/complete during the event. A very familiar fund raising tactic except for the flying.
    Now let’s suppose you obtain 1,000 pledges for 1 penny per mile each. That shouldn’t be too hard…

    …but this would be:
    1) It would take you 80 days 21 hrs 27 min, travelling at the speed of light, for you to earn enough to take $13 trillion off the debt (the majority of it), but at least you wouldn’t age during that time.

    2) If you used some kind of alien warp-drive-equipped spacecraft to do it, you would be 1.3 trillion miles from Earth, about 1/4 of a light-year, when you finally finished. Or, alternately, you could take 243 trips to Neptune AND BACK, or 74 trips to Eris (third dwarf planet beyond Pluto) and back.

    3) Each person who pledged the 1 penny per mile would owe you 1.3 billion dollars.

    4) If you could find 999 friends to do it with you. And you all got the same 1000 1-penny pledges, you could reduce the time it would take to a mere 2 hours, you would all only have to go to Jupiter and back twice, and each person who pledged a penny would only owe $1.3 million.

    5) There would still be another $61 billion (and counting) left to be paid on the debt after your contribution.

    Holy smokes and yikes!

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  7. It’s starting to seem like Obama got his emoting lessons from Al Gore.

    And Gore got his from deep study of a box o’ rocks, so go figgur.

    I think the turning point for Fiorina was the demonsheep. She was unbeatable after that.

    Here’s the thing. Fiorina won with her demonsheep ad, but Dale Peterson lost with his awesome 30-30 and horse ad. We are obviously not the target demographic.

    Obama: “Show me your asses, people! This is a full-on, ass investigation until I find the ones in need of kicking!”

    Obama? Figure out blame? He’s lost his touch. It normally takes him only the span of a press conference to assign blame.

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  8. FormerHostage, are you talking about women politicians or Obama? He puts the W is “wussy.”

    I bet Sarah Palin wouldn’t take any crap from the Iranians. She’d just show up at the presser with the rifle she used to bag that moose and say something like “Hey, I already shot some huge animal with antlers on it’s head, you think I’m gonna back down from a bunch of smelly mullahs with rags on their heads? Puleeze!”

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  9. Obama got his emoting lessons from Algore? Yes he did. Michael Dukakis helped.

    I know GI Joe was always good for deep introspection and wisdom. And knowing is half the battle.

    Rumor has it Obama is a master at ass investigation. Barney Frank and Keith Olberman have been hired to lead the way. Don’t ask, don’t tell.

    Rhonda Paul will run for office with demon sheep AND ass investigating space aleins.

    I’d vote for a real candidate that challenged wimpy wussy demon sheep with awesome cool rocket launching dinosaurs.

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  10. You women here have to admit that FormerHostage is right! They elected a woman President on Jack Bauer’s show and it didn’t work!

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  11. @FormerHostage: Are you being facetious (has that word ever been used here before)? I’d choose the Iron Lady of Britain, Margaret Thatcher, over girly man any day. Maggie kicked ass. No announcements. Just ass kicking. Golda Meier was another leader who would unleash the dogs of war when it seemed a good idea. Golda would be all sneaky about it, too. I miss Mags.

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  12. Hmmm..the candidates that Sarah palin hepped won, and the ones that Obama hepped lost.
    I think I really can see November from my house-even here in blue-ass Austin, Texas!

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  13. I’m still trying to do the math on Axe’s comment. When I got to the “Holy smokes” part, I gave up and had to go smoke my pipe. Now, if he had said “Holy Coffee!,” it would have been different. Coffee!!

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  14. Obama: “Show me your asses, people! This is a full-on, ass investigation until I find the ones in need of kicking!”

    Sounds like Beatrice Obama is doing a “full-on, professional investigation” that only she can do.

    “No Ma’am. We in the administration have no sense of humor that we’re aware of.”

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  15. “So has someone photoshopped Obama in the costume from Kickass yet? I’m disappointed in the internets if not.” Kickass may be spelled with a K for BP but I believe you spell it with a L when it comes to Saudi Arabia, Japan, China, the UN, Iran, North Korea……..

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  16. @Burmashave – facetious? Moi?

    Thatcher and Meier are the exceptions that prove the rule. You want proof?

    Rule: Black guys from Chicago are tough.

    Now look at Barry. I rest my case.

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  17. “I don’t get women politicians. What happens if there’s a national crisis but their husbands need them to make them a sammich?”

    I doubt Hillary Clinton or Nancy Pelosi could make a sandwich. And, if they did you wouldn’t want to eat it.

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  18. @Ed Flinn: A sammich is what the little woman makes you when you’re hungry. A Sangwhich is what you have at the poker table.

    Why would you want a woman govenor? She shouldn’t be worrying her purty little head about the budget.

    If a woman politician goes to washington, who’s gonna make the dang pie?

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  19. Random Thoughts
    Posted by Frank J. on June 9, 2010 at 9:01 am

    So has someone photoshopped Obama in the costume from Kickass yet? I’m disappointed in the internets if not.

    Ummmm…

    President Kick-Ass!
    Posted by Mr. Right on June 9, 2010 at 4:10 am

    Frank, you need to read IMAO more often. Really, it’s a pretty good blog!

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