The perfect birthday present

It’s SarahK’s birthday! Actually, it became her birthday a couple of hours ago (as of when this post is published), but since she lives in MountaineerMusings Time Zone, her birthday comes two hours later than those of us that live in Eastern Time Zone. But, to make up for it, she gets to say “I can do what I want; it’s my birthday!” for two hours longer than us East Coast folk.

Anyway, it’s her special day, and we were wondering what Frank’s getting her for her birthday this year.

Well, he did get her something already: pregnant. I don’t think he had her birthday in mind when that happened, but I could be wrong. I haven’t asked. And ain’t going to. So, as happy as she is with carrying little Princess Buttercup, Frank still owes her a birthday present.

Still, Frank, being a guy, is just liable to slip up and not have a present ready. Yesterday was Sunday, and everyone knows that Boise closes at sundown on Saturday. So, unless he ran by the Jackson’s Foods and got her a coupon for a Blazin’ Burrito, he might be scrambling around today. So perhaps he could use some suggestions.

Some facts that might be helpful…

  • SarahK shares a birthday with Samuel Colt. So anything firearms related would be great.
  • She also shares a birthday with Lizzie Borden, so whatever he picks better be good.
  • She and comedian Jim Norton share a birthday, so whatever it is, it better make her laugh.
  • And, she shares a birthday with Queen guitarist Brian May (the really really smart one in the group), so whatever the present is, it better rock!

If you have suggestions, offer them here. Because there’s nothing Frank likes better than a bunch of people telling him what to do.

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  1. Attention Sarah G. Flemming USA internet tshirt princess lady landlord

    Ohh herrow and happy daybirth. Presence good if gone from love. “Quackers” duck pet and myself wish melted wax dream come true. Cake favorite, not often have, government take good food Quackers also me rice make.

    Pleasent DayBirth having

    (s.p. Quackers makes hello noise)


  2. He should get her one of those guns with the pink handle.

    It’s practical: You can shoot bad people with it.
    It’s amusing: Hello? It’s pink for goodness sake! While said bad guy is laughing hysterically, she has more time to aim.
    It’s practical: Hello? It’s pink for goodness sake! While said bad guy is laughing hysterically, she has more time to aim.
    It’s a gun: Chicks dig guns. At least the smart ones do. And what better gift than one that says “I value your safety so much I’m going to make sure that if I’m not there to repeatedly shoot the bad guy in the head, you can do it yourself”?

    Make sure to put it in one of those silly gift bags with lots of fluffy tissue paper.

    Happy birthday SarahK


  3. Frank must journey into the wilds of untamed Idaho. He must find a wolf pack. If he kills the alpha wolf, the rest of the wolves will become Frank’s wolf pack and he can give the cute little wolf puppies to Sarah.


  4. SarahK shares a birthday with my daughter, so the gift needs to be sweet.

    Thank God SarahK doesn’t share a birthday with Nancy Pelosi, the gift would ruin the marriage…


  5. I read with great intrest your informations about birthday, and I share with many family and friends who also have question about birthday. Many ask question what kind of birthday are happy. Most need to know where they can get an birthday, so your article very helpful. Especially some landlord who do not have birthday could find one.


  6. How about a Fred Thompson Punch The Hippies shirt? Well, it’s what I’d like to have for my birthday anyway. How about a t-shirt with a picture of a cat punching a hippie? Now that would be cool!


  7. “How about if Frank offers to give birth to the baby?”

    Not a good idea. Frank would strut around saying “Hey, I offered to have the baby for you, remember?” every time Sarah complained about the pain of labor. Frank would ask to do it ’cause he knew it would never happen and he could get brownie points real easy. He’s a clever one, that Frank.



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