Archive for October, 2010

Seriously, I Don’t Get It

Thursday, October 21, 2010 8:53 pm

Ok, I get that Palin’s “party like it’s 1773″ remark was a reference to the Boston Tea Party.

And I get that Kos and Ifill were dumb to make fun of it.

But I don’t get WHY they made fun of it.

What year did they think she should’ve said instead?

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Official Government Stance Is Islam Means Hugs

Thursday, October 21, 2010 3:02 pm

So one of the terrorist leaders we’re trying to kill right now, he attended a luncheon at the Pentagon… shortly after 9/11.

What? I guess that could have been a good idea. “Suspicious Muslim leaders, come to Pentagon for free lunch. All meals will be prepared the Muslim version of kosher. Lots of food, no assassinations!” And guess what they’d find when they got there? VERY LITTLE FOOD AND LOTS OF ASSASSINATIONS!

But that wasn’t what went down. It’s like with the Fort Hood shooter not even bothering to look at suspicious signs. As I’ve said before, this is how the liberal mind works on racism. First, we decide we can’t just be suspicious of Muslims because that’s racist so we also throughly check white 80 year olds boarding planes. And then some liberal says, “Hey, know what would be even less racist? We only check white 80 year olds and are never ever suspicious of Muslims.” And thus Muslims get away with behavior that would set off red flags with any other group but officials ignore it so not to look racist.

For people to get along with peaceful Muslims and not worry, they have to know there is a low tolerance by officials for things like tepid support of Hamas. But those sort of people get called “moderate”. America should only allow the nicest, most peaceful Muslims who hate terrorism more than anything. Any who even offers the slightest sympathy for terrorism should be fired out of a cannon into the sea. And then everyone gets along and is peaceful.

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The High Cost of Whining About FOX News

Thursday, October 21, 2010 1:02 pm

So Soros is giving Media Matters one… million… dollars. This is kind of weird to conservatives because we’re used to whining about media bias all the time for free, but apparently you have to pay the left to do it. One million dollars to constantly complain about FOX News — that’s a pretty good deal. I’d certainly do it for that sort of money. Here’s one complaint: There’s something about Shepherd Smith I never quite liked. There, now some rich liberal nut better send me a hundred bucks.

And you may have heard that Juan Williams got fired from NPR for saying on FOX News that Muslims were involved with 9/11. While Media Matters may love to try and pretend to get outraged over any little error they find, it’s always going to be the accurate things FOX News reports that will make those type of wieners the angriest. The reason liberals hate FOX News and obsess over it despite controlling pretty much all other media is there are really true things they never wanted anyone to talk about — things that poke holes in their silly little fantasy world — and FOX News brings them up on a daily basis.

Maybe this will help liberals calm down: Remember when Reagan came to power? There wasn’t FOX News or even right-wing talk radio. So you’re going to lose no matter what because your ideas just suck that bad. If it’s inevitable, no reason to worry.

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What Sort of Thumping Will Democrats Get in November?

Thursday, October 21, 2010 11:01 am

Zombie has a list of what metaphor to use based on how many seats Republicans gain in the House. The list goes to some pretty high numbers, which makes me want to remind you what the puppy blender says. That’s right, he says, “Mmm… puppies!” But I was thinking of the other thing he says: “Don’t get cocky.”

Now, I’m looking for a gain of more than fifty on November (labeled an “asskicking” on Zombie’s list). That would be a solid rebuke and I think very attainable (Intrade has the possibility for that now at about 75%). Anything more than that would be nice too, but not going to go into November expecting it. I still hold out hope for this possibility, though.

How many House seats are you expecting the Republicans to gain?

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Random Thoughts

Thursday, October 21, 2010 9:11 am

Soros is paying people a $1 million to whine at FOX News? Man, I’ve been whining at the wrong cable news.

About the $1 mil for Media Matters: The right as been complaining about media bias for free for years, but you have to pay the left.

Look at the gift a reader sent Buttercup (next to 80 lb. dog for scale).

I bet even the CEO of Bic can never find a pen when he needs one.

So who originally passed the law that comedies are a half an hour and dramas are an hour long?

NPR fired Juan Williams? Stupid crackers.

Wish we could do something, but it’s kind of an impotent threat for conservatives to say they’ll boycott NPR.

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Frank Riddles

Wednesday, October 20, 2010 4:03 pm

Jeff M gets the HIGH PRAISE for the riddle from last week. But there is more HIGH PRAISE left to obtain. So, riddle me this:

Perhaps she cares for you
As she sings you awake in the morning
And makes sure you eat your vegetables
No wonder those who can’t have her commit great violence
But love her too much and she’ll break your heart

I hope these are all helping to make you people smarter. Nothing motivates people to do well like the sweet sweet possibility of getting…

HIGH PRAISE!

So be the first to put the answer in the comments and yadda yadda.

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Because We Should Never Pass an Opportunity to Laugh at Kos and Friends

Wednesday, October 20, 2010 2:01 pm

Sarah Palin said, “Don’t party like it’s 1773 yet.” Markos Moulitsas and other liberal nitwits go ahead and mock her assuming she said something stupid instead of googling the year and seeing it a reference to the Tea Party. Hilarity ensues.

Stupid is as stupid does. Similarly, smart is as smart does. And if the Obama presidency has illustrated one thing, it’s that liberals are too dimwitted to really recognize either. For starters, there’s this whole idea that Obama is smart despite him never having actually accomplished anything. “Community organizer”? That’s a made up job if there ever was one. But Obama “sounds smart,” and liberals treasure the illusion over the reality. But the fact is people who are actually smart do useful things, which pretty much excludes the entirety of the liberal elite.

Of course, pretty much no one thought Markos was smart in the first place so I’m probably just beating a dead horse here. Anyway, my point here isn’t to defend the idea that Palin is some sort of intellectual giant; I just think people should recognize the easily demonstrable fact that she’s way smarter than liberals.

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More Proof Obama Is a Muslim

Wednesday, October 20, 2010 12:02 pm

So Obama is going to skip visiting a Sikh temple because he’d have to wear headgear to enter it and he’s afraid that would make him look like a Muslim. And Obama is very wary of looking like a Muslim since he secretly is one.

You want proof Obama is really a Muslim? Simple. What would be the easiest way for him to disprove he’s a Muslim? That’s right: Publicly eat a big handful of bacon. But he hasn’t done that. Now, any normal person if ever given any excuse to eat a big handful of bacon would be all over that, so why hasn’t Obama done that constantly? The only logical reason I can think of is that he’s secretly a Muslim.

Interesting: If you accept the idea that Obama is secretly a Muslim and wants to destroy the country, his actions seem a lot less incompetent.

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Republicans Kinda Suck… And That’s Why They’re Going to Win Huge

Wednesday, October 20, 2010 10:41 am

It’s been a while (been busy), but here’s a new Pajamas Media column from me. Enjoy!

::shakes fist:: ENJOY!!

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Random Thoughts

Wednesday, October 20, 2010 8:55 am

We’re not asking liberals to admit that Palin is smart; just that she’s smarter than them.

I guess while the Yankees were in Texas, they messed with it. They were warned.

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Demonic?

Wednesday, October 20, 2010 7:21 am

Basil
Thanks for joining us for our interview today. First, some background…


Recently, Rush Limbaugh commented on how many of the recent images of the president have a “demonic” look.

There are some pictures on the Drudge Report. I’m gonna hold them up here to the Dittocam. I’ve got too many things to do here, but, folks, these pictures, they look demonic. And I don’t say this lightly. There are a couple pictures, and the eyes, I’m not saying anything here, but just look. It is strange that these pictures would be released. *

Basil
Is Rush right? Do these recent pictures of Obama have a demonic look? We thought we’d ask some experts on demons what they thinks. So, Satan, what about these pictures?


I’m Phil, not Satan.


He was talking to me.


He was looking at me.


He called me by name.

Basil
I tell you what, we’ll go alphabetically. Why don’t you answer first, um, Phil?


What was the question?

Basil
Do the new pictures of Obama have a demonic appearance?


I don’t know.

Basil
Um, okay then. What about you, Satan?


What?

Basil
Do the new pictures of the president have a demonic appearance?


Wait. That is your president?

Basil
Yes, that’s Barack Obama…


Heh. I bet some of you right wingerz thought that Satan did that, didn’t you?

Basil
I beg your pardon?


Well, he didn’t. It was me!


Seriously? That’s your president? And you? Phil? You did that? That’s the worst you could do? Why didn’t you simply put Jimmy Carter back in office?


Obama is sending the country to Heck in a handbasket…

Basil
So, Rush is right? Those pictures are demonic?


If you’re asking if he’s a demon, then no. My big brother has all the demons working for him.

Basil
Who works for you, then?


Democrats. In their natural state … here in Heck … they are demonic rats. We shorten that to “Democrats” when we have them appear on Earth.


You see what I have to put up with? He’s an embarrassment to the family. He makes my life a living … heck.

Basil
So, Satan, you’re saying Obama isn’t demonic?


I’m saying he’s not one of mine. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be…


You do that all the time! Every time I have some success, you try to horn in on it!

Basil
So, Obama isn’t demonic? He’s simply misguided, naive, unqualified, and out of his depth?


Some think he knows exactly what he’s doing.

Basil
But, does he?


Silly human. It doesn’t matter if he knows what he’s doing or not. It’s what he’s doing that matters. And, for the first time in my life, I’m proud of my little brother.

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Crowder Is Back: Evil Rich People

Tuesday, October 19, 2010 10:07 pm

Steven Crowder is back and says he’ll have a new video every week again. I’m guessing that’s more empty promises just like we get from Obama. But here’s his new one where he shows us one of the wealthiest 2% who will be affected by rescinding the Bush tax cuts:

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lolbama! Part 50

Tuesday, October 19, 2010 8:21 pm

This week, That One. Next week, terrorists. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ‘em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.


From Charles:

[Real sign from WV. That’s how popular the O-man is there]

From Irritable Pundit:

[reference link]

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

From Kris:

[reference link, and that’s lefty billionaire George Soros]

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Nicole:

From Peregrine John:

[reference link]

From Peregrine John:

[reference link]

From Travelwise42 of Wise Up:


My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Kris:

[reference link]

From Kris:

From Kris:

From Travelwise42 of Wise Up:

[reference link]

From VelvetElvis:

[reference link]


This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:

Figure this should work well for all those post-election-spin-related captions.

PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

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Will the Tea Parties Form Death Squads? Daily Kos Says Yes!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010 3:01 pm

A recommended diary on Daily Kos was going on about how Republicans are totalitarian and soon there will be death squads. It also recommends that liberals get more belligerent. And there is a poll on whether Republicans can be “Americanized” in which the majority voted “No” (and if they can’t be “Americanized”, that means what for them).

So, does this mean we need to fear violence from liberals? No, because they’re sissies. When they start talking violence — other than the occasional wacko — it just means more whining and screaming we have to put up with. Still, I think it’s worth looking at the ridiculousness of the idea of conservatives forming death squads. Let’s say conservatives one day decided to kill all the liberals. How would that work?

“Hey, let’s kill all the liberals.”

“Okay. Then what do want to do for dinner afterwards?”

I mean really, there are way more conservatives than liberals plus we have pretty much all the guns (on the account of the not being sissy). If conservatives wanted to kill all liberals, it would be a pretty simple thing. But we won’t, because it just seems mean and wrong. Also, it would be unconstitutional (well, it is if you’re a strict constructionist; if you believe in a living constitution, slaughtering all liberals if supported — if not recommended — under the Commerce Clause). So, rest easy, liberals. As long as we conservatives don’t feel like being too mean and as long as no one pokes too many holes in the Constitution, you can sleep without worry of slaughter.

Hippie punching is another matter entirely, though.

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Meghan McCain: Is She Unsmart?

Tuesday, October 19, 2010 1:03 pm

You ever wonder if Meghan McCain is kinda… well… stupid. Like there’s there’s smart things to say, and she always says things other than those.

On This Week this week, the round table had her and George Will, who combined together have the intellectual capacity of George Will. She criticized Christine O’Donnell because young people — and Meghan knows young people because she are one — are really concerned O’Donnell is not qualified enough to be Senator. And it’s true, because what I keep hearing from young people is, “I’m like real concerned that some people totally aren’t qualified enough to be Senator who are like running for Senator. But not my dad the Senator.”

Anyway, here’s Glenn Beck interviewing Meghan McCain. I don’t think she comes off well.

So MeggieMac is kind of a pea brain who is convinced that she has some radical new agenda for the Republicans along the lines of “Republicans need to like attract more young people. Yay gays!” And I’m sure Republicans will look into it after they get trounced in November for ignoring her.

When CNN finally pulls the plug on on their Parker-Spitzer show, here’s my idea for the next freak show: Meghan McCain plus a crazed hobo discuss the news of the day. Or Meghan McCain and Blagojevich if no hobo wants to do it.

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I’m Not a Witch Song

Tuesday, October 19, 2010 11:02 am

It’s Christine O’Donnell autotuned:

If politicians were smart, they’d pre-autotune their ads before releasing them, because political ad are usually just the boring “blah blah blah I’m for this” and the “blah blah blah my opponent is against that”. So other than the occasional one with a guy walking around with a gun, they’re hardly worth our time.

Also, I’d like to see a political ad with kung fu.

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Random Thoughts

Tuesday, October 19, 2010 9:07 am

No amount of facts and science will convince liberals that they don’t have facts and science on their side.

I’m really surprised how many people gave gifts to SarahK and I for Buttercup. Never thought we were that likable.

Somehow I think MeggieMac turning to Media Matters to defend her isn’t going to help her cause any.

I think most conservatives are saying they’re looking for a 50 seat gain in the House while secretly hoping for numbers they dare not mention.

Being a father does make me feel more badass… sort of out of necessity.

Buttercup is asleep on my tummy while I check Twitter on my iPad – just like my dad and me when I was a baby.

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Another Primitive Dinosaur with Rocket Launcher

Monday, October 18, 2010 3:02 pm

A reader sent this in which seems to be another primitive attempt at a dinosaur with a rocket launcher:

I dunno. Seems kind of a poor attempt. The idea is that a dinosaur is intimidating in itself — and then you add rocket launchers. A camel is just too awkward looking to be intimidating, even with the gatling gun. It’s like you could put a bazooka on a musk ox, but it would still look silly. One of these days we’re just going to have to buckle down and get our dinosaurs because no other animal is going to meet the needs of the future for our military.

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Manning Up

Monday, October 18, 2010 1:02 pm

During the debate, Sharon Angle told Harry Reid to “Man up,” to which Reid replied, “Absolutely not, that’s why I’m a Democrat.”

That got me thinking: There are all these political woman organizations, but none for men. It would be kind of nice to have an organization that could speak up and declare, “Reid is a emasculated sissy, and he doesn’t speak for men.” An organization that could lobby for things of interest to men like:

* Bacon
* Guns
* Explosions
* Eating all the salt and transfats we want
* Violent video games
* Decreased sensitivity/awareness of PC crap
* Cigars
* Punching hippies

I guess that kind of makes me think of Al Bundy’s “No Ma’am” club from Married with Children (which would be a great name for anti-Barbara Boxer group). Still, worth considering making for real.

What issues related to manning up do you think needs to be lobbied for?

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Brain Swelling

Monday, October 18, 2010 11:01 am

I thought a brain outgrowing its skull was a myth people spread about whatever is considered the “dangerous breed” of the day, but Joe Biden apparently has evidence it’s happening to Obama. I guess that makes sense.

AIDES: “People are really concerned about jobs. We need to do something about that.”

OBAMA: “Ahh! My brain hurts! Nationalize health care!”

AIDES: “That… doesn’t make any sense.”

And then Obama snaps and starts biting people.

The myth is that brain swelling can cause a dog to attack its owner, so we should be concerned if Obama starts attacking unions.

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