Sneezing Monkey
This is what gives me nightmares:
"I'll stop you yet, He-Man!"
It’s a new monkey discovered in Burma.
First off, stop discovering new monkeys! We do not need anymore monkeys! We have way more monkeys than we need and should be concentrating on making them extinct instead of finding more.
Second, see its weird nose? When it rains, it fills up with water and the monkey sneezes. So guess what happens now that I know this? It is in my brain that raining plus sneezing equals monkey. Next time it rains and I hear a sneeze, I’ll spin around and shout, “Die, monkey!” while firing my gun wildly. I do not take chances with monkeys.
Hmm. I guess this monkey is kind of the opposite of this one.
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(20 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)
October 29th, 2010 at 3:11 pm
I always knew there was something up with the Dutch! What with their big noses, Dutchman monkeys, and flying Dutchman.
Is it just me, or does that monkey bear a striking resemblance to michael jackson? Hmmm, maybe reincarnation isn’t so far fetched after all…
October 29th, 2010 at 3:19 pm
It’s a Michael Jackson monkey.
October 29th, 2010 at 3:28 pm
The fact that both monkeys and liberals like to fling their crap around is the strongest evidence there is for the theory of evolution.
October 29th, 2010 at 3:34 pm
Reminds me of a dog I knew that licked off it’s own nose.
October 29th, 2010 at 4:06 pm
I saw the picture, and I thought, “That monkey really looks like Michael Jackson.”
Then I read the article. It didn’t mention Michael Jackson. I thought, “I can’t be the only one who thinks this monkey looks like Michael Jackson.”
Thank you, comments, for proving me right!
Then a liberal came along and told me I was racist for comparing Michael Jackson to a monkey. I pointed out that the monkey really only looks like White Michael Jackson, though, and then the liberal was strangely ok with it.
October 29th, 2010 at 4:18 pm
Monkeys only fling poo when upset. Democrats fling poo because that is all they can do. Bad democrat !! Get your poo off of our country !!
October 29th, 2010 at 4:31 pm
As I understand it, when it rains, Democrat’s noses fill up with water and they sneeze, too….
Hmmmmm…..
October 29th, 2010 at 4:57 pm
Near extinction? A monkey that drowns in the rain deserves extinction regardless of its ability to fling poo. And what’s up with the instant emergency listing on the endangered animals list? We didn’t even know about it until now. Would it still be endangered if we hadn’t discovered it?
October 29th, 2010 at 5:11 pm
Burma, they only put them on the list if they taste like chicken. Therefore the drowning monkey tastes like chicken!
October 29th, 2010 at 5:50 pm
I believe they considered calling it the Wasman Monkey.
October 29th, 2010 at 5:51 pm
…sorry, typo…meant WAXMAN Monkey
October 29th, 2010 at 5:59 pm
Michael.Jackson.Reincarnated.Holy.Cow.
Lock up your sons.
October 29th, 2010 at 6:32 pm
The thing about a nose like that is you don’t know where it’s been.
They’re calling it a “snub-nosed monkey.”
But I don’t think it’ll be putting its nose in your business, Frank.
October 29th, 2010 at 6:41 pm
Why did you also link to a picture of Joy Behar? That wasn’t called for was it? Now you are a b*tch!
October 29th, 2010 at 7:56 pm
This is going to end up just like that movie with Dustin Hoffman and Cuba Gooding and I hate movies with Dustin Hoffman and Cuba Gooding! This version will be even worse because Donald Sutherland won’t be playing a bad guy.
October 29th, 2010 at 9:01 pm
I’ve been up here in Cambridge, Mass all week taking a refresher course in talking funny. Finally had a chance to check in with you guys and
I find that you’re up to monkey business. I should have known. How’s Princess Buttercup doing?
October 29th, 2010 at 9:14 pm
Count me in as another one who plainly sees Michael Jackson. That is too weird.
October 29th, 2010 at 10:01 pm
No wonder they just discovered it. Its evolutionary skill was “keeping hidden from public ridicule”. Yeesh!
October 29th, 2010 at 10:28 pm
Is that a joint or a toothpic
Either way, that monkey’s from the hoooood.
October 29th, 2010 at 10:49 pm
The Phillipino people have been doing their duty to help make them extinct. For years they have been BBQ-ing them and sell it to the military. Many times I have staggered down the streets of Olongapo munching on BBQ monkey on a stick.
October 29th, 2010 at 11:18 pm
Yep, Michael Jackson, definitely.
October 30th, 2010 at 2:34 am
So, does anyone else think that Nancy Pelosi also takes her nose off at night and puts it on the table next to the bed?
October 30th, 2010 at 10:20 am
Of course Nancy takes off her nose at night. Who wants to go to bed smelling Obama’s ass?
October 30th, 2010 at 10:47 am
So, are you saying that going nose-to-nose with Nancy is the same as kissing Obama’s ass ?
I just shuddered.
October 30th, 2010 at 3:36 pm
Can we really be sure thats not a muslim monkey who tried to escape an arranged marriage and had it’s nose cut off muslim monkey style?
October 31st, 2010 at 2:40 am
Strangely enough, its right hand looks a lot like a little white, sequined glove, but not its left. Very weird.