Sun of a …
You hear about that woman that owns the sun?
No, really. Angeles Duran owns the sun. And she’s going to charge you money to use it.
That’s according to a report from The Daily Mail. Of course, that’s in England, the country that, along with France, came up with the whole Divine Right Of Kings idea, so you never know what kind of gag they’re liable to fall for.
Anyway, this Spanish woman now owns the sun. Which means you now have somebody to sue when you get a sunburn. I wonder if I can sue for that bad sunburn I got back in Kuwait?
Maybe I could sue her for trespassing if her sun shone through my windows one morning when I was trying to sleep in and it woke me up?
Then, again, Al Gore might start blaming herfor Global WarmingTM.
Or, maybe I could lay claim to some heavenly body. Halle Berry comes to mind.
No, let’s not get silly. Let’s consider this and be serious (Sirius?) about it.
What celestial object would you lay claim to? And why?
Send to Kindle
(11 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
November 29th, 2010 at 10:28 am
When she can plant a flag on it, then we’ll talk.
November 29th, 2010 at 10:32 am
Sirius talk, indeed. Must choose a heavenly body for myself. Which is the Horndog Star?
November 29th, 2010 at 10:57 am
I’ve got a UPC label from when I bought all the paper in the world. Never mind that the label’s got the word “Cheerios” crossed out and the words, “All the Paper in the World” written in crayon. I purchased it from the man in the Loony Detector Van. He sold it to me for 8 and 5 pence. A bargain, it was, I’ll warrant.
Anyway, her certificate is written on paper, and I now own it.
November 29th, 2010 at 10:58 am
I want Betelgeuse.
November 29th, 2010 at 11:00 am
The Milky Way. Now EVERYONE has to pay me rent.
November 29th, 2010 at 11:12 am
I take Earth. Pay up suckers!!!
November 29th, 2010 at 11:17 am
Including you, DamnCat! Your bill is huge.
November 29th, 2010 at 11:21 am
The moon. I need something big to use for plinking with mah .22
November 29th, 2010 at 11:34 am
Lets just say it has 27 moons.
November 29th, 2010 at 11:36 am
I own all the Black Holes in the Universe! Angie is about to be thrown into one! Muwhahahahah
November 29th, 2010 at 11:41 am
I would buy the moon and using a space laser write lists on it to expose leftist idiocy to the whole world. Eventually they would either have to own up to their past behavior and ideological flaws or nuke the moon to get rid of it. Either way win for everyone.
Things that democrats and the left did that they now furiously pretend the republicans and the right did.
-Ethanol subsidies
-new energy bulbs that are high in mercury
-black face
-invading Vietnam
-eugenics movement
-national socialist workers party of Germany
-inner city housing projects
-rounding up Japanese Americans during WW2
-dropping the Atomic bombs
-Klu Klux Klan
-and new ones daily with every MSM manufactured scandal!
November 29th, 2010 at 11:51 am
Finally, I have been waiting on someone to tell me who owns that thing. Now I can start my lawsuit for the spots and moles that the sun has created on my skin. She should have put a big disclaimer on that burning ball of fire. Pure negligence. Angeles, you will be hearing from my lawyer.
November 29th, 2010 at 11:54 am
And I was having such fun thinking about beautiful celestial bodies (ou la la!) and Shiggz has to drag politics in to this.
Praise the Lord and pass the
ammunitiontelomerase.November 29th, 2010 at 11:56 am
Uranus, of course.
November 29th, 2010 at 12:00 pm
I own Spain. Now she has to move to the sun.
November 29th, 2010 at 12:11 pm
And, how exactly is this much different than our government declaring they have a right to tax us for everything imaginable? Other than the fact that this woman doesn’t have a police force willing to come to your house and arrest you if you don’t pay her, it’s pretty much the same thing.
November 29th, 2010 at 12:21 pm
Mad dogs, crazed Britishers, and Krazy Krackhead Kenyans all claim to own the sun. Barney Frank claims Uranus.
Angeles Duran bought the Sun from Dennis Kucenich, who bought it from the space aliens.
November 29th, 2010 at 12:33 pm
Definitely Uranus. How much fun would it be walking up to total strangers and just blurting out “Uranus is mine! I own Uranus!” And walking off?
November 29th, 2010 at 12:35 pm
I can’t wait to get my first bill from Ms Duran! Think she’ll disconect my Sun service when I tell her to go pound some arena? (Spanish for “sand”)
November 29th, 2010 at 12:38 pm
IJim and Kal…sorry. Barney Frank has already staked out a claim.
November 29th, 2010 at 12:49 pm
Soa spanish woman claims to own the sun. I could see it if she were mexican or one of them haitians or somebody useful. but its jsut another european, so, meh.
November 29th, 2010 at 1:20 pm
I’ll take Orion’s Belt just to see if his pants fall down.
November 29th, 2010 at 2:29 pm
Check with Kenneth, I think he knows the frequency. At least that’s what Dan says.
November 29th, 2010 at 3:23 pm
All your Uranus is belong to us.
November 29th, 2010 at 3:43 pm
I remember quite clearly when a lady gave me the moon!!
November 29th, 2010 at 3:53 pm
Somewhere there’s an asteroid that’s made up entirely of gold.
That one’s mine.
November 29th, 2010 at 6:41 pm
According to the Bible, mankind was given dominion over the earth and all things therein. Not a word about the other stuff, the lights that our Creator God hung up to mark the days and the seasons and so forth. So I asked him about this Ownership of the Sun thing. Using my best efforts to understand His reply, I think His answer was:
“BWAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH!!!”
November 29th, 2010 at 11:25 pm
@ storm1911 It’s spelled Kusinitch. Get yoor faks strate
November 30th, 2010 at 12:45 am
Is it sad that the first thing that came to mind after reading this post was Joe Dirt’s “meteorite”?
November 30th, 2010 at 8:30 am
I own it all.
It’s all mine.
Every planet, star, sun, meteorite, comet.
Why? Because I said so and I’m the mom so I get to make all the rules. If you don’t like it you’re grounded, forever, starting right this minute.
November 30th, 2010 at 8:59 am
OK, I’m grounded. Do I get a spanking?
You can’t own the Universe, seanmama, because unlilke God, you can’t wrap your mind around it.
November 30th, 2010 at 11:47 am
Saturn would be nice,
but I think I’ll supercede Angeles Duran’s claim by
landing on the Sun and planting a flag there before she does.
Dangerous? It could be.
That’s why I’ll land at night.
November 30th, 2010 at 3:57 pm
If I get a sun burn, can I sue her?
November 30th, 2010 at 4:33 pm
I wouldn’t want the responsibility ownership of a planet would bring. The taxes alone would be a killer much less the cost of maintenance and upkeep. Take the moon for example…you can bet the environmentalists and their pals in the EPA would be on your butt if you tried to dig for any minerals or drill for any of the water that some scientists think may be there. Forget development because some Indian tribe no doubt would pop out of the woodwork claiming that right where you want to build is where the sacred crater their tribe has worshiped since the beginning of time is located. OSHA would pass thousands of new rules you’d have to comply with and in the long run it just wouldn’t be worth the hassle ownership would bring.
November 30th, 2010 at 6:52 pm
Dearest Jimmy,
We are so not going down the “spanking” super highway. It never ends well.
I realize I can’t have it all but that wasn’t the question. If I could lay claim to, what would I lay claim to? Since I’m the mom I get to make the rules. It’s worked for the last 30+ years and I see no good reason to rock the boat now.
(you know I’m just kidding right? i wouldn’t want the responsibility for the universe. I firmly believe there are days when God says to Mrs. God, “you know, when we thought about creating the Earth, I think we should have done something else. Cleaned the garage, played canasta, snaked out the drains. Really we should have done something else”)
November 30th, 2010 at 7:23 pm
Oh, shucks, seanmafairmama. I was hoping for some serious ‘reprimanding!’ And of course it would have ended well.
“Go outside and fetch a switch!” was a line my own Mom used twice in my upbringing. But each time the switch broke and she burst out laughing – as did I. Actually, that was really great punishment. And yes, my Mom is Irish – Welsh.
December 1st, 2010 at 11:55 am
From what I’ve seen, she doesn’t even own a decent outfit, so how on earth did she manage to afford the sun?
December 1st, 2010 at 1:39 pm
Somebody tell her to get it off of my lawn.
December 1st, 2010 at 11:30 pm
I’m laying claim to the Milky Way. Yep it’s all mine now, and now that I own it I’m changing it’s name to Payday Bar (1) They are delicious and it’s probably what a super giant would taste when he tried to eat our galaxy a bunch of nuts (salty of course) and some delicious something or other on the inside (2) Pay up earth you owe me what do you think it’s free to live in the Payday Bar Galaxy?
December 2nd, 2010 at 6:02 pm
Dibs on the big dipper. In fact, I’ll take all of Ursa Major.
It’s… a bear…with a long… tail. Hmm. Well, that’s fun
And Polaris. I get Polaris and everything it leads to. Like Alaska, and Sarah Palin. What? I need a running partner.
December 10th, 2010 at 9:33 pm
If I owned Uranus I’d rename it Cronus (different name for the same decrepit old god – I think) so it wouldn’t automatically remind people of b*tt holes.
Captain! There are Klingons circling Cronus!
Yeah? So?
Er, um, never mind!