Random Thoughts

Spent a while Friday morning deciding which seat to choose in my car. Settled on the front seat since it’s not one of those self-driving cars.

Parents just don’t understand, man! Like, I’m a parent now and I’m very confused.

Buttercup can now entertain herself with a rattle. Being a parent was fun, but I’m glad it’s over now.

Shipping confirmation from Amazon on my 3DS! Was getting bored of playing with Buttercup even though she is also in 3D.

It’s glasses free 3D, but since I’m nearsighted in my right eye, I require glasses for anything to be in 3D.

What is it with some cultures and their irrational hatred of pronounceable names?

Send to Kindle

Obama likes spending

Some say Obama likes spending. I wonder if there’s any evidence to back up that claim?

[Direct link]

Send to Kindle

I’m So Excited! I Thought This Day Would Never Come!

Alpha-Proxima Day is Saturday. Don’t forget to turn on every light you have for 24 hours.

If you can’t participate, you can salve your conscience by buying Carbon Debits.

And remember the Alpha Proxima Day motto:

If it can’t be seen from space, you’re doing it wrong.”

[YouTube direct link]

Send to Kindle

Fighting Bullies

Bullying is a good thing; it makes children tougher. For instance, do you think that kid in Australia would have ever been able to pull of a righteous body slam without the motivation of bullying?

Anyway, here’s Steven Crowder on bullying:

How do you think bullying should be handled?

Send to Kindle

Reasons the Operation in Libya Isn’t a War

Did you know you can forcefully go into another country, start blowing stuff up, and it’s not a war? Instead, Obama is like “it’s an overseas contingency operation” or “it’s a kinetic military action” or “it’s a time-limited, scope-limited military operation” or “it’s an I Can’t Believe It’s Not a War” or “it’s the military operation that must not be named”.

Are there any people actually that dumb? “I’m anti-war, but this isn’t a war. Yes, it’s the military going into another country to overthrow its government, but it’s called something completely different than a war so it’s not one.” And how influential are these stupid people that Obama needs to pander to them? Can’t he just distract them with something shiny instead of sounding like a complete tool?

Still, if he wants to convince people it’s not a war, he needs to try harder. Here’s some things he could say instead:

“It’s not a war, we just trained some random people to use guns and let him loose in a foreign country. That they wore matching outfits with the American flag on it is not my problem.”

“It’s not a war, it’s just excess bomb disposal.”

“It’s not a war, we just genetically resurrected dinosaurs and shared them with Libya. Not our fault the dinosaurs hate Qdaffy and want to eat him.” NOTE: This one would require genetically resurrecting dinosaurs which I hope the military is already working on.

“It’s not a war, because according to the Big Book of War this operation would needs at least 50% more tanks to meet official warness guidelines.”

“It’s not a war, it’s just… you know… stuff happening… with the military. Why do we always have to put labels on everything, man.”

“It’s not a war, because if it were, where are all the protesters calling me Hitler?”

“It’s not a war, because earlier today Qdaffy told me he’s totally cool with us hitting his country with a bunch of cruise missiles. He thinks those are awesome.”

“It’s not a war, because we’re only kidding.”

“It’s not a war, because I didn’t order it. Must have been some other black guy calling for it, and you just thought it was me because you think we all look the same. You’re all so racist; I hate you so much.”

“It’s not a war, because I don’t actually plan on winning or anything. I just wanted to bomb someone and feel like a big man.”

“It’s not a war, because it’s good for something — getting rid of Qdaffy. We all know from Edwin Starr that true wars are good for absolutely nothing.”

“It’s not a war, because I was born in Kenyan and thus I can’t be president and start wars.”

Send to Kindle

Random Thoughts

We’re going to fight this war on the XBox 360 Kinect? Does Qdaffy have that? What’s his Live account?

“You know these Koch brothers you never heard of a week ago? They’re super evil and have to be stopped. And Libya is not a war.”

Did Q*bert set a precedent that eventually led to Ke$ha?

I don’t care what you call it as long as bad people get blowed up. That’s what I pay taxes for.

“We’re not going to get mired in an unwinnable war. What we’re going to get mired in we’ll call something completely different than that.”

“It’s not a war. It’s a contingency… kinetic… scope-limited… Okay; I’m a ginormous tool.”

My parents gave us one minute to use a certain amount of mouthwash. It was a time-limited, Scope-limited operation.

Almost wish I followed college basketball just so I could understand why people hate Duke so much.

Send to Kindle

An opportunity wasted

Turns out that the president might not be to blame for his latest inability to open a door. Did you see his latest inability to open a door?

[Direct link]

Yes, that first one was actually a door, not a window.

As you can see, he’s finally learned how to use a door knob, because he managed to open the second door.

Which means the first of the two doors was locked.

Which means the second of the two doors wasn’t locked.

Somebody didn’t do his job right. Because that somebody left one of the doors unlocked. And now, Obama is back in the White House.

A perfectly good opportunity arose to keep him out, and someone dropped the ball. The country could have been saved by someone simply locking another door. Now, we’re back to going to hell in a handbasket.

Send to Kindle

Literally Winning the Future

So here’s what Biden said yesterday:

“The president and I, we’re focused on literally — it sounds like a trite phrase — but literally winning the future.”

Literally winning the future, people. I mean, he said it twice. And since it’s a literal thing he’s doing, I figured I should be able to draw a picture of it. So here’s my drawing of what literally winning the future looks like:

Continue reading ‘Literally Winning the Future’ »

Send to Kindle

Random Thoughts

None of this Libya mess would have happened if Keith Olbermann was still on the air.

Space heaters don’t work because you can’t heat space since space is a vacuum and vacuums don’t work if they’re overheated.

Monitor running out of batteries beep not different sounding enough from baby stopped breathing beep.

Send to Kindle

Unconstitutional War

So some people are saying maybe it’s unconstitutional that Obama went to war with Libya without consulting Congress. We still care about that sort of thing? I thought something being constitutional was sort of a vague concept now with no strict definition — like saying something is smurfy. Still, Joe Biden thinks Obama should be impeached over this — though there is a bit of a conflict of interest there since, if it happens, Biden will get a big pay raise out of the deal.

So, what do you think? Should Obama be impeached over this, or are you like me and just assumed the president had the authority to bomb wherever in the Middle East whenever he felt like it?

Send to Kindle