Reasons the Operation in Libya Isn’t a War
Did you know you can forcefully go into another country, start blowing stuff up, and it’s not a war? Instead, Obama is like “it’s an overseas contingency operation” or “it’s a kinetic military action” or “it’s a time-limited, scope-limited military operation” or “it’s an I Can’t Believe It’s Not a War” or “it’s the military operation that must not be named”.
Are there any people actually that dumb? “I’m anti-war, but this isn’t a war. Yes, it’s the military going into another country to overthrow its government, but it’s called something completely different than a war so it’s not one.” And how influential are these stupid people that Obama needs to pander to them? Can’t he just distract them with something shiny instead of sounding like a complete tool?
Still, if he wants to convince people it’s not a war, he needs to try harder. Here’s some things he could say instead:
“It’s not a war, we just trained some random people to use guns and let him loose in a foreign country. That they wore matching outfits with the American flag on it is not my problem.”
“It’s not a war, it’s just excess bomb disposal.”
“It’s not a war, we just genetically resurrected dinosaurs and shared them with Libya. Not our fault the dinosaurs hate Qdaffy and want to eat him.” NOTE: This one would require genetically resurrecting dinosaurs which I hope the military is already working on.
“It’s not a war, because according to the Big Book of War this operation would needs at least 50% more tanks to meet official warness guidelines.”
“It’s not a war, it’s just… you know… stuff happening… with the military. Why do we always have to put labels on everything, man.”
“It’s not a war, because if it were, where are all the protesters calling me Hitler?”
“It’s not a war, because earlier today Qdaffy told me he’s totally cool with us hitting his country with a bunch of cruise missiles. He thinks those are awesome.”
“It’s not a war, because we’re only kidding.”
“It’s not a war, because I didn’t order it. Must have been some other black guy calling for it, and you just thought it was me because you think we all look the same. You’re all so racist; I hate you so much.”
“It’s not a war, because I don’t actually plan on winning or anything. I just wanted to bomb someone and feel like a big man.”
“It’s not a war, because it’s good for something — getting rid of Qdaffy. We all know from Edwin Starr that true wars are good for absolutely nothing.”
“It’s not a war, because I was born in Kenyan and thus I can’t be president and start wars.”
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March 25th, 2011 at 12:19 pm
“It’s not a war because I’m not addressing you from the Oval Office. Excuse me, could you show me where the Oval Office is? Just in case. Uh, hehe.”
“It’s not a war because we’re doing whatever we’re doing for the civilian children.”
“It’s not a war because it was Hillary’s idea and we all know women don’t start wars.”
“It’s not a war because President Reagan missed and the Bush’s didn’t finish the job. I inherited this mess from them.”
“It’s not a war because I’m too cool for that. With that? Michelle, get your fat ass up!!”
“It’s not a war because Joe and I literally discussed – and I know this sounds literally hard to believe – how Libya and my Qaddafi friend can win the future… literally.”
“It’s not a war, because the American people are bitter, white, religious clingers to the Constitution which is just a mish-mash of negative prohibitions and stuff. Screw it, I’m going to Rio.”
March 25th, 2011 at 12:32 pm
“It’s not a war because thanks to moronic leftists such as myself Americans are now conditioned to think all wars fought by the American military are bad. And if you think that’s hard to believe, I must ask why? Afterall, we’ve made you all think the Nazis were right wingers for more than seventy years.”
March 25th, 2011 at 12:33 pm
I’m still a little confused about this whole “illegitimate government” thing.
So, according to Obama, if people have multiple demonstrations about how much they hate their government, as they did in Libya, the government becomes illegitimate. And, for the past two years, here in the US the Tea Party rallies have undoubtedly seen far more protesters than the protests in Libya. So, wouldn’t that mean that the Obama administration is now illegitimate?
March 25th, 2011 at 1:12 pm
If I was Obama (well first I’d be dumber than a bag of hammers) but I digress…I’d say to the American People…”War…you can’t handle real War”!!! “Ok, you want to see WAR?” “I’ll give you WAR!” and then I’d nuke the bajeebers out of Canada…then I’d re-nuke the nuked parts for some extra super Shock and Awe! “Then I’d stand there on the podium” with my hands on my hips and my chin pointed in the air with a totally like superior look and I would say, “Now THAT’s War!” “Any more questions?” “Yea you reporter guy, where are you from?” “Stockton, CA” “Well my friend your family and friends better bend over and kiss their behinds good bye because I have just unleashed war on Stockton!” Anymore questions? Have a nice day ghey bait!!!
But that’s just me…
March 25th, 2011 at 1:19 pm
It can’t be a war because Code Pink and Cindy Shehann aren’t marching around the White House.
March 25th, 2011 at 1:37 pm
Those weren’t cruise missiles… they were party favors. GPS guided party favors that deliver high explosives and hilarity, but mainly high explosives.
March 25th, 2011 at 1:47 pm
War is hell. Kinetic military action is hope & change.
March 25th, 2011 at 1:53 pm
“Kinetic Military Action” this is not your grand mothers “Blitzkrieg”.
March 25th, 2011 at 1:54 pm
“It’s not a war because the US is not acting unilaterally. And by ‘unilaterally,’ I mean that the US has only half the UN partners that Bush did.”
Well, that clears things up. Ruby Ridge and Waco were wars. Clinton built a road to deploy APC’s to enforce a sawed off shotgun beef. Under those rules of engagement, I think we can pretty well send tanks wherever we d*mn well please.
March 25th, 2011 at 2:21 pm
It’s not a war….it’s double secret probation.
March 25th, 2011 at 2:28 pm
This is not a war because wars have leadership and organization and stuff. This is just random, poorly organized violence – like the LA riot – um, I mean, civil uprising – after the Rodney King verdict. We are just joining in a loosey-goosey Civil Uprising. Because, you know, being civil is important. And doesn’t “uprising” sound inspiring? We are raising them up! Civilly! With the very polite launching of cruise missiles because, you know, we asked the United Nations’ permission first. No cowboy crap from THIS administration. Just civility. And raising you up, with hopeful change. You’re welcome.
March 25th, 2011 at 2:32 pm
its not a war – barack obama barry hussein soerto aka “teh w0n” heard qudaffy found his birth certificate.
March 25th, 2011 at 2:41 pm
“It’s not a war, because I don’t actually plan on winning or anything. I just wanted to bomb someone and feel like a big man.”
I think that you nailed it that time, Frank.
March 25th, 2011 at 3:03 pm
It’s not a war, I’m just International communuity organizing, err, re-organizing. With cruise missles.
It’s not a war, you just think that because I’m just so bad at the messaging of it. And you’re a raaaacisssssst!!
It’s not a war, this is the transparency of my administration I was talking about. I’m making Q-Daffy’s palace walls transparent.
It’s not a war, let me be clear – It’s Not A War.
Ok, it is a war, but that’s just between you, me, and Bo here. Don’t let the nutroots hear that. I need them on my side to keep spreading the lies about those Koch brothers.
March 25th, 2011 at 3:11 pm
Did Qaddafi bad mouth Obamacare?
Refuse to agree to the mandate?
Close his Acorn offices?
Get caught with a gadsen flag?
Oppose collective bargaining?
Offer twinkis in school lunchrooms?
Listen to Rush/Watch Fox?
Arrest a blood in the streets marxist professor friend of his?
We have been watching this alysnki organizer for years and seriously these are the only sort of things he ever gets angry about.
He didn’t make a peep when all those pro-western college kids in Iran were slaughtered… so what is it now? When I once met a lady who died and said she had a vision of the future and mentioned the nuclear apocalypse of is triggerd off by Irananians launching a hidden nuclear weapon from Libya I thought she was crazy. Jokes on me
March 25th, 2011 at 4:55 pm
Are there any people actually that dumb?
Yes, that’s why the we’re stuck with Obama.
It’s not a war because….nobody from
KenyaIndonesiaHawaiiConnecticutChicago is qualified to run a war?March 25th, 2011 at 5:20 pm
If it’s not a war I’m kind of scared.
America wins wars.
Police actions? Not so much.
Once someone besides America has a say in the matter, bad things happen.
Heck, even in WWII we let the Europeans tell us stuff and all that accomplished was taking longer (by giving Monty gas and stuff instead of giving it to Patton) and giving Eastern Europe to Russia as we waited while they took all the way to Berlin.
We really need to learn a lesson from stuff like that.
So, what time is American Idol on tonight?
March 25th, 2011 at 5:38 pm
It’s not a war! It’s Libyan Carnival.
It’s not a war! It’s Abstract Art.
It’s not a war! It’s USA’s Complementary Dictator Removal Service.
It’s not a war! It’s a game of Dodge Bomb.
It’s not a war! It’s Q’Daffy Season, be vehwee, vehwee quiet, we’re hunting Q’Daffys.
It’s not a war! It’s Halliburton’s Automatically Activated Blood-For-Oil Exchange Program.
March 25th, 2011 at 5:55 pm
Its not a war, Sasquatch has PMS.
Its not a war, because I won and reverent right has not doggoned it
Its not a war, its only a war if a republican is in charge.
Its not a war, I would never wage a war against my muslium brothers.
March 25th, 2011 at 6:06 pm
It’s not a war! It’s Q’Daffy making a solid B+ on his mid-term.
…… It’s Michelle getting tired of some guy wearing the same outfit.
March 25th, 2011 at 6:42 pm
It’s Michelle getting tired of some guy wearing the same outfit.
Okay, that’s funny.
March 25th, 2011 at 7:20 pm
“It’s not a war! It’s a game of Dodge Bomb.” -Live Free Or Die
Okay, that’s funny.
March 25th, 2011 at 7:50 pm
[...] moved upon a field to interact with an inferior mass. If upon direct contact, the influence of the Kinetic Military Action obliterates this foreign mass, neuterons, progressons and electionons may be passed to the [...]
March 25th, 2011 at 9:01 pm
how the he11 can it be a war when frogs and canucks are running the show?
March 25th, 2011 at 11:35 pm
“it’s not a war, Tanks and planes and stuff are major polluters in Libya, this is a “Carbon Footprint Reduction on the african continent”
March 26th, 2011 at 3:49 am
It’s not ware because our enemy combatants are having the sex with donkeys, sheep and goats in between battles. Our Marines would never want to fight such men and soil their bullets…
March 26th, 2011 at 9:55 pm
“Don’t mention the war!” – John Cleese
“That’s not a war! This is a war…” – Crocodile Dundee
“If we bomb Gadaffi, all those Muslim fundamentalists who oppose him and hate us like poison will love us then!” – Barrack Obama
“It’s Bush’s fault.” – The Leftist Libtardummy
March 27th, 2011 at 9:00 pm
Louis Farrakhan advised o to ‘organize’ a group of ‘wise’ people to go to Libya to negotiate a peaceful settlement – either right after or right before he asked, “Who the h*ll do you think you are?!”
So who should we send to Libya?
Farrakhan, Rev. Wright, Jimmy Carter, Madaline Albright… the list is endless.
Hey Rev. Louis, are you volunteering?
March 28th, 2011 at 12:01 pm
@ 4of7, “negotiate a peaceful settlement”
To “negotiate” almost always means to give something up as part of the process…interesting that anyone – even someone as insane as Farrakhan – thinks that the first thing that needs to happen is for the United States to barter with Quadaffi and give him things as part of an “agreement” in order to obtain a useless promise of peace. Now, when Reagan blew up his stuff and one of his worthless kids, he quickly understood his place…
March 28th, 2011 at 9:36 pm
#29 – Son of Bob,
I suppose we could offer him a 5 minute running start… just to make it interesting.
More probably, they’d offer him a full pardon, a full apology, and a all-expenses-paid retirement villa on the South Seas island of his choice if he would just leave quietly.
March 29th, 2011 at 12:06 am
Harvard Men At War
From up upon the podium in tailored suit and tie,
Between the flags of freedom crossed, and in the public eye,
The Harvard man made his address to critics, in reply,
And laid out for the audience his modern battle cry.
Recall that other Harvard man, who at the San Juan Hill,
Did call ‘Rough Riders, follow me!’ and led the charge until
The foot soldiers and cavalry were summoned by his will,
And overcame the enemy with valor and with skill.
Not for our modern Crimson man do words like those resound,
For in their stark grave melody is heroism found.
Instead we hear of diplomats who finally come around,
And handing off the fighting with no boots upon the ground.
So rally ’round the UN flag: we fight for powder blue!
Leave well behind the stars and stripes, and patriotic hue.
We’ll fight for days or weeks for sure, and then we’ll say adieu,
And hope our allies have resolve and heart to follow through.
March 29th, 2011 at 1:15 pm
“Can’t he just distract them with something shiny instead of sounding like a complete tool?”
Short answer?
No, because he can’t stop sounding like a complete tool.
Heh.