The End of Life on Mars
Hugo Chavez said that maybe capitalism destroyed civilization on Mars. This is an interesting science fiction premise, so I decided to render some drawings of what that might look like:
You know how in the War of the Worlds the martians were killed out by simple bacteria? Maybe instead it’s capitalism they can’t stand. Like they’d come to our planet to eat our blood, but then they’d walk into a Walmart and die. So capitalism keeps our planet safe from martians.
So, interesting thoughts from Hugo Chavez, but I think our response to him should be, “You’re a dictator! Here’s bullets for your face!” And when people wonder who shot Chavez, we can blame capitalism.
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(16 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
March 23rd, 2011 at 12:16 pm
“You’re a dictator! Here’s bullets for your face!” I think that could become as iconic as “You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
March 23rd, 2011 at 12:27 pm
These cartoons are a little too advanced for me with their color and overall high quality and all.
But at least they’re corny – so I laughed. X X hehe.
March 23rd, 2011 at 12:33 pm
It’s the evil money that’s deadly. I have a rare immunity, so just to be safe, everyone should give their money to me.
March 23rd, 2011 at 12:37 pm
Dear Hugo,
I do feel terribly about this whole capitalism thing. Money is truly evil. Becaus I’m a stand-up kind of gal, I will gladly relieve you of your wealth because I don’t want you to be burdened by any of it. That way, I will endure the evils of capitalism for you and you can be free to live with no money or any if its diabolical attributes.
Best regards,
Carolyn
March 23rd, 2011 at 12:51 pm
They drank the kool-aid?
March 23rd, 2011 at 12:58 pm
Of course capitalism kills people. Capitalism is the name of my Smith & Wesson .40 pistol. I’m glad the story has made it all the way to South America since Capitalism has been killing a lot of people lately. My goal is to eventually have Capitalism kill people on all 7 continents, all 50 states, and all 8 planets in the solar system. I’m up to 3, 12, and 4, respectively.
March 23rd, 2011 at 1:10 pm
“And when people wonder who shot Chavez, we can blame capitalism.”
They already were going to one way or the other.
Idea: I think we should get ahead of this and start blaming neptunian capitalists for his eventual murder. Much like German, Russian, N. Korean, Chinese etc.. Marxists are the good guys but Marxists in Europe and America are like superheros we can embrace their cognitive dissonance (since reasoning for 75 years clearly hasn’t worked) and start blaming everything on neptunian capitalists.
When they ask… “hey wait aren’t you guys capitalists also?” We can respond, “how dare you! My grandmother was killed by a neptunium capitalist.” or “That’s the kind thing a neptunium capitalists would say… BURN THEM!!!!!.” Rinse and repeat.
Hey if leftists can blame JFK’s murder by a Castro/Soviet worshiping Marxist like Oswald and insist that the military industrial complex murdered a guy who invaded Cuba and doubled military spending we can say neptunian capitalists are plotting to kill Hugo Chavez.
March 23rd, 2011 at 1:11 pm
Correction-
German, Russian, N. Korean, Chinese etc.. Marxists are the BAD guys
March 23rd, 2011 at 1:14 pm
Capitalism killed Frogger! No! Damn you, capitalism! Damn you!
March 23rd, 2011 at 1:30 pm
I think we all know capitalist space cholesterol will eventually do Michael Moore in.
March 23rd, 2011 at 2:10 pm
I’m sorry, but this just does nothing for me. That’s not even close to what Martians really looked like. Haven’t you ever seen Jim Carville or Oprah?
March 23rd, 2011 at 2:11 pm
Big Sister is monitoring this site. Or at least she has instructed us all to watch and report prospects of violence. What I’m wondering is if there is a sizable cash reward in it for me to rat out Frank J. Not that I would ever think of doing such a thing…what…a $million…gotta go…
March 23rd, 2011 at 2:54 pm
Oh my God! Capitalism killed the Martians and Kenny!
You B a s t a r d s
March 23rd, 2011 at 3:27 pm
Well, low ratings mean fewer advertisers, fewer advertisers means less money, less money means show gets canceled.
So, Hugo is right, capitalism ended Life On Mars.
March 23rd, 2011 at 3:29 pm
I think Hugo has a different brand of Marxism. More like Groucho, Chico and Harpo Marxism.
Dang why do I have “I shot the sherriff but I did not shoot the duputy..” going over and over in my mind?
March 23rd, 2011 at 3:38 pm
This is why I don’t drink Martinis. Martinis are from Mars.
March 23rd, 2011 at 3:46 pm
Actually Martians really look like this……. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fj9hqn_EdoQ
March 23rd, 2011 at 4:02 pm
The similarities to your Martians is uncanny: http://twitpic.com/4abv8l
March 23rd, 2011 at 4:05 pm
“Here’s bullets for your face!” is my new favorite pre-arse-kicking one-liner. Just sayin’.
March 23rd, 2011 at 10:24 pm
I think Chavez confused martians with marxians.
March 24th, 2011 at 8:41 am
Ofcourse Mars is capitalist. There are no walls to keep martians in. Our rover robots were not asked for their papers and than shot in show trials, either.
But then, we didn’t have pay any tolls, either. Hmmmm.
March 24th, 2011 at 11:01 am
Chavez is hiding the truth,,,It’s true that everybody on Mars is dead, but Evil Space Clowns did it and blamed it on capitalism, and he knows it. Then when they were done with Mars, they all came here, just in time for the 08 election. Coincidence? I think not.