Traditional Re-Post: Fun Facts About Ireland (2009)
When you go out to drink your green beer today, you’ll probably wander into a pub and bump into some smug Irishman who’ll bust your chops for being ignorant of the history & traditions of the land which St. Patrick’s Day was intended to celebrate.
Well, brother, I’ve got your back. Paddy O’Tatertot will dumbstruck by your vast storehouse of knowledge when you regale him with these:
* Bram Stoker was working as a civil servant in Dublin when he wrote “Dracula” in 1897. The main character was based on an old pub lout named Drac O’La who was notorious for sneaking around the room sipping peoples’ beers when they weren’t looking.
* Ballygally Castle in County Antrim, is allegedly one of the most haunted places in the country. Lady Isobel Shaw, whose husband built the castle in 1625, reportedly did not pay off her student loans, and the castle still receives mysterious harrassing phone calls to this day.
* The national sport of Ireland is “hurling”, a similar to field hockey, with much shoving, brawling, and hitting with sticks. It’s been described as “what would happen if last call lasted for an hour”.
* In 2003, a village known as “Dun Bleisce” changed its name back to the indecent-sounding “Fort of the Harlot,” as it was known in the distant past. Some of the residents claim that a more accurate translation is “Fort of the Hilton”.
* It was once popular in Ireland to pin sprigs of shamrocks on your coat on Saint Patrick’s Day in remembrance of his using shamrock leaves to illustrate the idea of the holy trinity. At the end of the day, one would “drown the shamrock” by putting a few shamrocks into a glass and covering them with whiskey. Thus the saying “In Ireland, EVERY day is St. Patrick’s Day!”.
* The national symbol of Ireland is the Celtic harp, not the shamrock. The harp is less popular, though, because it’s hard to find a glass big enough to drown one in.
* Unlike the Scottish bagpipes, the Irish uilleann pipes do not have a pipe going directly to the mouth. However, there IS usually a straw going directly to a pint of Guinness, so sometimes it can be hard to tell.
* An odd Irish birthday tradition is to lift the birthday child upside down and give his head a few gentle bumps on the floor for good luck. The number of bumps should allegedly correspond to the child’s age plus one. For adults, the bumps are replaced with whiskey shots and fistfights.
* The original Guinness Brewery in Dublin has a 9,000 year lease on its property. Legend has it that when the lease expires, God will descend from heaven to punish the wicked of Ireland with eternal sobriety.
* One of the most popular radio shows in rural Ireland is still the weekly broadcast of local obituaries, since people with thundering hangovers keep hoping to hear their names.
* An old legend says that, while Christ will judge all nations on judgment day, St. Patrick will be the judge of the Irish. Denis Leary gets Boston.
* Catherine Kelly, who died in 1785, was allegedly the smallest Irish woman ever. With a total height of just 34 inches and a weight of 8 pounds, she was known as “The Irish Fairy”. At least until Michael Flatley came along.
* According to one rather obscure Irish legend, a ringing in your ears means a deceased friend stuck in Purgatory is ringing a bell to ask for you to pray for him/her. Or that you got drunk and passed out in the church belltower again, Father.
* “Gulliver’s Travels” writer Jonathan Swift is buried in St. Patrick’s Cathedral in Dublin, where his remains are held fast by dozens of tiny ropes.
* Montgomery Street in Dublin was once the largest red light district in all of Europe, with over 1600 prostitutes plying their trade. To help you imagine this, picture the lineup outside an American Idol audition, except with talent.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go “drown the harp”.
[Tip o' the green plastic derby to Ireland-Fun-Facts.com]
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March 17th, 2011 at 10:54 am
Damn Irish! They ruined Scotland!
March 17th, 2011 at 10:54 am
Top ‘o the mornin’ to ye all.
March 17th, 2011 at 10:55 am
What do you call a sober Irishman? Dead.
Jamison’s stock tanked when teddy died.
Do you think that one will try to pass for Irish?
The only reason for the IRA is the tax on whiskey.
I dunno wy they always celebrate St. Paddy, he would jus smick yoo in the heed with the blarney stone and take your Guinness.
March 17th, 2011 at 11:57 am
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: when your country is mainly known for drinking and fighting, you must be doing something right.
March 17th, 2011 at 12:07 pm
“Fort of the Harlot”/“Fort of the Hilton” – the world’s least defended post.
March 17th, 2011 at 12:14 pm
Little-known fact:
Irish people hate alcohol. They just drink to amuse the tourists.
March 17th, 2011 at 12:40 pm
“What do you call a sober Irishman? Dead”
Obviously, whoever came up with this never went to an Irish wake. My grandfather told me of some wakes where they propped the deceased up in a corner and put a drink in his hand..
March 17th, 2011 at 12:49 pm
If you’ve never tasted Irish whiskey, you don’t know what whiskey is supposed to taste like.
March 17th, 2011 at 1:03 pm
Just remember: there’s no one as Irish as Barack O’Bama!
March 17th, 2011 at 1:04 pm
My apologies to my fellow Irish for the offensive joke including BO in our ranks.
March 17th, 2011 at 1:34 pm
Sorry, Jimm-o, whiskey has to have corn in it.
March 17th, 2011 at 2:22 pm
I heard they took care of the “snake problem” by spreading the rumor the snakes were filled with whiskey. You just need to squeeze it out…
March 17th, 2011 at 2:24 pm
Where does an Irishman go on vacation? To a different pub.
March 17th, 2011 at 2:25 pm
What’s the correct definition of an Irish queer? An Irishman who prefers women to whiskey.
March 17th, 2011 at 2:52 pm
Plentyobailouts: “Do you think that one will try to pass for Irish?”
Funny you should ask … Why yes, yes I do ….
“And finally, I wanted to say today that I intend to come to Ireland in May, and I’m expecting to go not only to all the famous sites, but also to go to Moneygall, where my great-great-great-great-great grandfather hails from.”
Source: http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2011/03/17/president-obama-it-my-great-pleasure-st-patricks-day-welcome-new-taoiseach
March 17th, 2011 at 3:18 pm
And if you’re Irish you don’t know what water tastes like.
March 17th, 2011 at 3:38 pm
It tastes… Artesian.
From Ireland.
And Damn, ye never ever mix it with the whiskey!
March 17th, 2011 at 3:49 pm
Yep! It’s Mar 17! time to bring out Paddy O’Furniture! (I hear there are sales, if you need new)
March 17th, 2011 at 3:56 pm
This is the origin of the expression “draining the snake”.
March 17th, 2011 at 4:03 pm
My other quote from Sean O’Casey’s Red Roses for Me:
From the main character, referring to the Irish:
We pray too much, and work too little.
March 17th, 2011 at 4:29 pm
@DamnCat – It all makes sense now…
March 17th, 2011 at 6:33 pm
True: St. Patrick wasn’t Irish; his father was Roman, his mother from Gaul.
True: St. Patrick’s real name was Maewyn Succat…… No wonder he changed his name.
May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been
May you have the foresight to know where you’re going
May you have the insight to know when you’ve gone too far
May the Saint protect ye
May Life perfect ye
May Sorrow neglect thee
Misfortune to the one who doesn’t respect ye
And at the end, may the Lord not reject thee
May the Lord keep you in the palm of His hand, and never make a tight fist.
May your heart give out before your liver.
May you make it to Heaven a 1/2 hour before the Devil knows you’re dead.
When we drink, we get drunk
When we get drunk, we fall asleep
When we sleep we commit no sins
When we commit no sins, we get to Heaven
So let’s all drink our way to Heaven
March 17th, 2011 at 7:24 pm
Back in my drinkin’ days I did lot’s o’ squeezin’ the mighty snake! Then I’d wrap him around my waist and throw him over my shoulder and go back to drinkin’ the Irish brew…
March 17th, 2011 at 8:28 pm
Did you also know Guiness has a 9,000 year lease on it’s original property and pays a 45 pound a year for it? Wish I could get a deal like that.
March 18th, 2011 at 7:33 am
Homer O’Simpson, upon becoming for a brief moment the only sober Irishman in history: “O’D'oh. Mmmmmm Whiskey.”
March 18th, 2011 at 4:30 pm
Apparently Irishman Ted Kennedy confused Drowning The Shamrock with Drowning the Secretary. What a shame….
March 18th, 2011 at 5:02 pm
Ah yesterday, one of the 7 great Irish-American drinking holidays….the others being Monday, Tuesday, Wednsday, Friday, Saterday, and Sunday.
March 19th, 2011 at 3:11 pm
* An old legend says that, while Christ will judge all nations on judgment day, St. Patrick will be the judge of the Irish. Denis Leary gets Boston.
Nah.
Denis Leary gets Worcester, MA and upper Manhattan. His cousin, Conan O’Brien, who’s from Chestnut Hill, gets Boston and a nice beach cottage in Hull (for six weeks in the summer.)
And if they’re not happy with that, the ghost of Speaker John W McCormack will come up from Purgatory and bean them both on the napper with his shilelagh.
The Wahlberg boys, who’re from Dorchester, will just have to suffer in silence, for only their mother is Irish.