The Frank J. 3DS Post

Since I have the Nintendo 3DS“>intendo 3DS, I thought I’d share my info so anyone else with one can be my friend.

Anyway, here is the QR code for my Mii. Just have your 3DS scan this and you’ll get your own Frank J. Mii:

And here is my friend code:

0989-1750-1354

Share yours in the comments and I’ll add it to my system. Since Amazon is giving a $25 credit towards a game, I went ahead and got Street Fighter IV which seems liked the only launch game worth getting. So if you be my friend, maybe I can punch you in the face with Blanka.

Send to Kindle

Culturally Sensitive Female Soldiers

So the military is asking female soldiers to wear head scarves in Afghanistan for cultural sensitivity, I guess. So tell me: What do you call it when a woman with an assault rifle walks around a country with primitive, misogynistic beliefs and doesn’t shoot people in the face?

CULTURAL SENSITIVITY!

So if these same women then start wearing Islamic head scarves, that means maybe they’ve given up on the not face shooting culturally sensitivity. Thus people will probably be even more afraid of them.

Anyway, this just seems really wrongheaded. We’re now talking about women in combat, and if we’re sending women overseas in that role we should only be emphasizing how superior they are to all around them and how they can easily kill anyone. They can’t be getting orders like, “So take down all the hostiles… unless one of them asks you to make him a sammich, because they expect women to do that in their culture.” Some cultures have idiotic beliefs, and we have to be a little less sensitive and more willing to call them out on that. When we go into a country, we should make a nice list of what about their culture is idiotic and what we won’t respect, just so everyone is clear.

Plus, why is it on our female soldiers to be sensitive? The one with the assault rifle — now that’s who people need to worry about being sensitive to.

Send to Kindle

FUN WITH WIENERS! (Featuring Congressman Weiner)

It’s Crowder! And a wiener!

Maybe Republicans should just sell an Obamacare repeal as an everyone waiver.

Send to Kindle

All Good Things…

You know I’ve been blogging now for almost nine years? There have been some exciting times and I’ve felt like I’ve learned a lot and met a lot of cool people. But I also think I’m about spent. Seems like I’m just making the same jokes over and over about the same stuff, and it’s getting harder and harder for it to hold my interest. I can barely even pretend to care about the silliness of politics anymore. Plus, I’m a father now, and I’d much rather being spending my time with Buttercup than struggling to find something that interests me to write about.

So it’s time to say goodbye to blogging. I’ll still be around on Twitter — which has supplanted blogs in a lot of ways. And maybe I’ll write some other pieces on other websites (check me out today at Townhall talking about the Chevy Volt), but I’m going to try to get away from politics, as I think I’m basically just worn out there.

Anyway, thank you so much to my readers and commenters. It’s meant a lot to me.

And I should mention I am also starting a new job. I’ve been hired by the Obama administration as an online media consultant. Basically, they’re getting concerned with public perception turning against Obama and the amount of people now ridiculing and making fun of him. In an interesting move, they’ve hired me to counteract that, since I know so much about ridiculing President Obama and what are the main points people attack, such as how useless he is, how out of touch he is, and his big, stupid dumbo ears. I mean, just thinking about Obama, I want to punch that blithering idiot who is nothing but in the way of the country’s recovery — but now it will be my job to counteract that feeling in others and use my ridicule expertise to defuse the jokes about him and the fact that he has no idea what he’s doing and is in way over his head.

So anyway, goodbye to blogging, and on to bigger, more interesting — Ah! I just thought of that worthless waste of space Obama again and I want to smash something! This is going to be a hard job!

Anyway, who wants this blog now? Going by HuffPo evaluation, it’s worth 1.2 million, but I’ll sell it for $40 or best offer.

Send to Kindle

Random Thoughts

I only had one thought yesterday, and it wasn’t even that random:

Corporations don’t need to pay taxes. You get taxes through income taxes of the people they employ.

Sorry.

Send to Kindle

Basil 2012

I’m making it official: I am a candidate for President of the United States in 2012.

Now, before you dismiss me and my political aspirations, look at who else is running.

I’ll wait.

Yeah, see? You got Obama, who, even after over 2 years doing the job, isn’t capable of doing the job.

You got nobody else in the Democrats, unless Kucinich runs. He’s a joke.

Nadar will likely run as an independent or for the Green Party or the I’m-46-Years-Past-My-15-Minutes Party or something. He’s a joke.

For the Republicans, nobody will come out and say they’re running. They want to tease. I don’t mind so much someone that looks like Michele Bachmann or Sarah Palin when it comes to a tease, but a Haley Barbour or a Herman Cain or a Newt Gingrich or some other dude? And even the Michele or Sarah? I don’t want it to be a tease. I want it to be a prelude. You guys know what I’m talking about.

Anyway, no one on the Republican side will come out and say they’re running.

Of course there’s the whole Ron Paul thing. But he’s nothing more than Lyndon LaRouche without the conviction to commit mail fraud.

So, we need someone to run. And that someone to run is me.

Let me tell you a little about me.

1) I’m not a Muslim. I’ve been not a Muslim longer than Obama’s been not a Muslim.

I’m Baptist. We’ve had 3 Baptist presidents so far (Truman, Carter, and Clinton), so I’ve got that baggage. At least some of that is baggage.

But, I’m willing to counter that by going to extreme measures when it comes to a running mate. I’m thinking I’ll pick a Methodist. That ought to offer proper balance to the ticket.

B) I have a birth certificate. I know, it’s not fashionable to actually have one of these, but I do. I was born in this country. In Georgia. Which is a real state, not one of those made-up states like Hawaii or California.

III) I served in the military. I served during Desert Storm. No, not in Iraq, but I did manage to keep northern Virginia safe. Got a NDSM for it.

4th) I’ve actually had a real job. No, I’m not a career politician. Which means I don’t have any actual political experience, but hell, Obama’s political experience consisted of voting present, so I’m no worse off there. And, actually having a real job where you got to get up in the morning and hit the drive-through for breakfast and fight traffic and deal with dumbasses at work … Yeah I’ve done that. About to do it again in just a few minutes. So, I understand what all you little people have to go though. And I probably won’t forget you when I’m all big and important and president and such. Probably.

Five) I don’t mind pissing off people to get my way … when I’m right. Dealing with Congress? If I’m right, I’ll hold firm and not give an inch. What’s the worst that could happen? Congress won’t pass any legislation? Like that’s a bad thing?

Finally) I’m always right. That’s the good thing about being me. Whatever I say or do, I’m right. It’s awesome always being right. You ought to try it. I don’t know why more people don’t.

I’m not selfish about it, either. I’m willing to share my ability to always be right with the rest of the country.

So, vote for me in 2012. Then you can be right, too.

Send to Kindle