As you may have heard, Superman is renouncing his U.S. citizenship.
Frankly, good riddance.
You know, the main DC superheroes have never been good representatives of America. Superman has just always thought he’s better than everyone because he has pretty much every superpower (except he can’t talk to fish). And his alterego works for the New York Times or something, so he is just completely out of touch with the common man. Actually, the way he explained his decision to renounce his citizenship to me was, “Nobel prize winning economist Paul Krugman thought it was a good idea.” I swear the guy snorts white kyrptonite.
With Batman, you never see him waving the flag. That would just go against his dark persona he wants to keep up. What a disturbed little man; if he did get patriotic, he’d probably end up joining a militia or something.
Wonder Woman’s costume does make her look like she’s a patriotic stripper, but she’s actually part of some overseas feminist cult. She’s always ranting on and on about the pay gap between men and women. Hey! The Justice League doesn’t pay me at all!
Green Lantern is part of some intergalactic police force whose authority comes from… where? Weird little blue guys? I do not trust him. Any day now he could pull over the whole earth for speeding.
And the Flash… well, frankly, shouldn’t someone whose power is to run away really fast be more representative of France than the U.S.?
But, me, I was born in Maine and am a proud American. I even got my start fighting the Nazis. And though you might not always see it, I’m often wearing a flag pin. So you can always count on Aquaman to stand up proudly for the U.S. of A.!
Plus, Atlantis kicked me out.